Isn't this story just so cruel?

Question

Have you read in the news about the English landowner Sir Broughton Phipps-Colville employing kids to think up cracker jokes? -

'Sir Phipps-Colville, owner of several farms across Southern England, employed up to 350 children aged between eight and eleven to compose the jokes used in Christmas Crackers. It is thought that several leading supermarkets have sold crackers containing jokes written by these children. Spokespeople for these supermarkets were unavailable for comment. Testimony from former employees suggest that the workforce were required to work at least nine hours a day in a former warehouse with no heating facilities, and that they were denied food if their output was either insufficient or unusable. One joke writer, whose name cannot be published for legal reasons, stated that his joke about a reindeer who had no nose was met with 'such ferocious anger I feared for my life'.' (BBC news)

Answer 1

What life don't you have while you're compiling this unfunny drivel?

Answer 2

such rubbish you spout - but thanks for the points

Answer 3

I think your marmalade has gone off...

Answer 4

Zis is zo zad darlink,........... I zink zhey should all be zacked! Ant vat bozzers me is vhy on earf vould zhey getdin paid vor zsuchz poor qualitiez vorkmanzship?

I don lik jokes at ze bezst off times asz zhey arff vwulgar, bezsidezs I haff banned people being hoppy ant smilink int mine houzse-hold.

Ant zis place zhould be shut down immediately, asz I fear staff vill begint to veel sorry for ze bratzs ant stavff vill go out ant purchazse zom off zeeze Chrizzitmas cackers ant drivfe me inszane, zo zhey vould.

Answer 5

I didn`t see this news item, but it seems that the cruelty element arises from the children having to work long hours in a warehouse.

Sir Phipps-Colville could have just as easily outsourced this work so that the children did the work in their own homes and were paid for what they produced

Answer 6

nope not read that one

Answer 7

Capitolism gone mad sir...!

Answer 8

It wasn't Phipps-Coleville, it was a name I conjured up as a subsidiary company. What, pray is wrong with brats working 9 hours a day, 100 years ago it would have been 19 hours per day. I wasn't 350 children, get your facts right it was only 342. Some of the kids that were incapacitated through neglect (cold etc.) have, I have been informed, almost made a complete recovery. The rumours about some of them catching fearful diseases was totally untrue, it was a filthy lie spread around by 70 or so of them that caught typhoid. What they didn't report was my philanthropic attitude which enabled me to pay them a staggering 3p per joke, yes 3p, some of them went home to their council hovels with as much as 24p per week (less charges for the window tax 8%) Any other information can be obtained from my man Tristan who will settle any complaints with his knuckle dusters and flick knife

Answer 9

I work as the head stuffer at the local fortune cookie facility.  When I am not stuffing the fortunes into the cookies, I am hiring indviduals to compose the fortunes.  I must say good help is hard to find.  Thanks for the article, and the great tip *thumbsup*

Answer 10

"That's funny- no-one laughed."

"That's because it isn't funny."

Answer 11

hahhahahaha

Answer 12

don't know why they put jokes in crackers no one ever reads them

Answer 13

no!

Prattle prattle prattle - dont u have any ironing to do?

Answer 14

It's got to be better than the children on graveyard working for NIKE

Answer 15

April fools day was a couple of weeks ago.

Answer 16

I fear the cruelty is towards those who have to read said jokes aloud amongst friends and family old boy.

Answer 17

My good sir, the news papers have got it all wrong the facts have been blown out of all proportion, you see the little ruffian blighters are indeed well looked after and in fact work 18 hours a day, they are fed with the occasional chicken bone and as for heating my good sir…have you seen the cost of fuel now days?

Any way they are to busy working to worry about being cold, and they are thrashed regularly…it keeps the blood circulating.

So sir never believe what it printed in the press?

Answer 18

It is a very cruel story. And a very cruel newpaper that printed it. Why, oh why, cannot the press behave as they did in the past: sweep these degrading stories under the rug. Certainly the children themselves couldn't have complained about a mere 9 hour work day creating lame Christmas cracker jokes. It's not fair to even call that work. More like play without meals. Sir Phipps-Colville is obviously a charitable man, employing the undeserving poor in the hundreds. Let the little muggers try pulling coal out of mines or chasing dropped skeins of yarn between looms. Then they'll recognize how blessed they are.