Isnt it ironic about arranged marriages and love marriages?

Question

Isnt it ironic how arranged marriages have a extremely low divorce rate and how in the U.S, regular marriages carry a fifty percent divorce rate? My parents have been married for 20 years now and they were 21 and 22 when they were arranged to be married. They also love each other to death anjd put each other (and me and my bro, of course) before themselves. I know how to most people arranged marriages are a turn off, but what are your thoughtson this....

and please donty say that the people in these cultures supress women and force people to get married. many people dont know this for some reason, but both the man and the woman get to choose whether they want to marry the person....

I just want to know your feedback on this.....

Answer 1

I would say because that is there culture, they are more willing to work on their marriages, family is very imortant to them and so is there faith.  Yes I also think it is because the woman are more submissive because that is the way they were raised.

Linda

Answer 2

I think it has to do with just the willingness and committment of both partners to make the relationship work and make a strong 'family unit'.  When people have this and the intention to keep their marriage going, it has much better chance of happiness.  They look after the relationship itself better.  If they had chosen well in the first place, with careful discernment rather than rushing head long into a marriage due to sense of responsibility, lust, it's the next step of the relationship; you can see why it work out better.

Most of us, in every country, are more programmed into wanting more and more, nothing is ever enough but to keep up with the new version of everything.... faster, better, more attractive.....  you name it, it's there in all areas of life.

Answer 3

it IS kinda a strange phenomenon, tho i think personally i would want to marry for love. i dont have anything agaisnt arranged marriages unless its my own..lol.. i think maybe it has something to do with mind set.. when arranged marriages take place they know what there getting into they dont have all those crazy feelings at first that over time fade.. it works up to those feelings.. maybe there on to something..

Answer 4

That just goes to show you that basing a marriage on "romantic love" is something for Hollywood movies and fantasies.  It takes a huge commitment to stay married... yet too many people use "I love you but I'm not IN love with you" as a reason for divorce.

Answer 5

you make a good point

Answer 6

Well for starters, I had a an arranged marriage and am presently in the midst of a divorce. I met  my ex husband through my family, we were family friends. We were introduced and the decision to get married or not was left to the two of us entirely. He said he liked me from the first time he saw me and i took some time to make up my mind. Anyways we got married and were married for 2.5 yrs. there wasnt anything wrong between us excpet his parents. His parents were the most interefering people i have ever come across.....and spared no opportunity to create tensions between my ex and me. eventually his mother brain washed him to desert me and despite the fact that we were happy together and even thinking of starting a family, he followed his mothers instructions. thank god i didnt get pregnant!

given this particular episode, i think the question is not of love or arranged marriages, its bout the people involved. How much u love your partner, how much you care , the kind of understanding and bonding you share.....all go a along way in determining the sanctity of a marriage

Answer 7

Using divorce rates as the sole metric for comparing arranged vs. love marriages can be misleading. For example, a country like India has the lowest divorce rate in the world but it doesn't mean Indian couples are the most happily married. Social attitudes and acceptance of divorces, willingness and ability of women to seek divorce, employment and education for women, people's focus on family and not just own happiness etc. etc. are all reasons why people may be unhappy and yet remain married.

The pros of an arranged marriage of course is that the bride and groom are matched on the basis of their race, religion, social status, income groups, language etc. etc. and therefore they both often have similar expectations from life and share many values.

With love marriages, there is no such matching/filtering. But when people fall in love, they just hand wave the differences, decide that the differences don't matter or feel that the other person will change later. If reality turns out to be different, then as the initial love wears off, these issues become significant and if the society permits divorces then people end up getting divorced.

That's sort of the brief comparison of both types of marriages. There is no right or wrong way to get married.

I personally think love marriages are better as long as you walk in with your eyes open, are realistic about what you can and can not live with, choose a sensible mate and are willing to make compromises during difficult times.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I don't think its ironic in fact I don't think it is shocking because people who inter into arranged marriages do so because they keep up with tradition so I would expect them to follow threw. That is the problem with love marriages as you call them today we don't have or put a lot of value on tradition and marriage in our society today.