Issue with my mom? please help i need advice?

Question

ok so im having some major problems with my mom. i went and spent my summer with her in arizona well im a drug addict i was clean for 3 years and i started using again when i was there. (im only 17) he husband was giving me pain killers i got into a car accident with her husband cuz he was driving under the influence. and alot of other bad things happened when i was there. me and my mom have always had a ok relationship but we have never really got along that great. well i pretty much wanna write my mom off she dosent do anything but make my life a living h**l. i just wanna break from her but whats the best way to tell her i just need time away from her and not to have nothing to do with her. i love my mom but shes never been there for me really when i was in rehab she never called to check on me or anything. my cousin and my aunt are pretty much my mother figures in my life right now. i live with my dad and my grandparents but my cousin is like my mother more.

i just dont know what to do.

any advice?

Answer 1

Well, you ask how to tell you mother that you don't care to spend time with her but I'm curious as to the real reasons.  You blame her for your problems but from what you said, it doesn't sound like they were her fault at all.  Is it possible that she's pulling the tough love mother routine, which is often appropriate, and that you are not reacting well to it?  Or maybe simply your expectations of your mother are too high.  What is it you are wanting from her?  And how did she make your life a living h**l?  You need to make some choices to be responsible for your own actions and outcomes and not blame your mother for them.  Simply have no expectations of your relationship with her and you might find it to be a better one than you thought.  But obviously, there is alot of information that the basic reader is not going to have from your paragraph so really, any sort of educated advice is going to be more of a guess at best.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I don't know why you're blaming this situation on your mother.. have you ever put yourself into her shoes. her child is/was a drug attict. She's probably going insane herself.

What is wrong with you?

Drugs are gross..

They kill you..

Plain and Simple..

Don't do drugs and you'll be a happier person..

So will your mom.

and if you don't want her in your life then tell her but its not a good idea. you never ever ever wanna drift away from your family. cuz in the end.. they're the only thing you've got.

=)

good luck with whatever you do!

Answer 3

my relationship with my mom sounds alot like yours in a way we alwaysss butheads but we can get along sometimes. i think you should just tell her she is smothering you and just move away when you turn 18 for a little but but dont totlally push her out of your life. . and i just got out of a rehab for drug abuse (I'mm also 17) and i have stayed off drugs now and our relationship has changed.. i mean she hasn't tho she is still annoying and i still want to justt get away from her and her to leave me alone but half the problems were from my addictions then i realize familys all you got in the end really. and i would just let her know how annoying she can be or how she makes you feel but not just totally break from her. you never know what could happen. i wanted to do the same thing with my mom i told her i dont want to see her and i was never coming back. and now she is batteling colon cancer and i take back every word..    

Answer 4

Sometimes it is better to love someone from a distance.  Be cordial to your mom if she calls, but let her know you need to focus on getting yourself together. Anyone who influences you positively can be a mother figure.  Maybe some of your past issues with using drugs stems from the poor relationship you have with your mother.  Work on yourself, don't feel bad or worry about your mother's feelings while you get yourself back on track.  maybe some counseling will help you understand what role your mother should play in your life, and it might be easier to tell her what you need with the counselor's help.  good luck regaining your sobriety.

Answer 5

tell her nicely how you feel. Maybe she'll understand and change. I'm verry sorry to hear your story and wish the best for you.

Answer 6

just tell her that you need to get away from the city and have some fun

Answer 7

it seems that your extended family are there for you also your dad . i suggest if your relationship with your mother is causing you so much confusion with your emotions  take a break from your mother and concentrate on what is good for you. turmoil in our lives is pretty devastating no-matter whom it is with but even more destructive when issues crop up that involve parents or siblings.it is more difficult to deal with family due to many  emotional aspects that come into play. Guilt being the hardest emotion to get past whenever you take a step that involves making yourself the priority. your past dependence on drugs must be  addressed .get help with being involved with outside counselling eg; -support group that addresses these issues,so that you are able to look to your relationships with people in the future without any drug dependency clouding your judgement. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I would sit her down and have a talk with her. If you can't do it face-to-face, do it over the phone. Explain things to her in the context of your addiction. Let her know that you can't be around her and her husband because it causes too much temptation for you. Hopefully, she will understand. If not, please know that you're doing the right thing for now. You need to concentrate on your own health and sobriety. Do not write her off completely. As you know, people can change for the better.

Good luck!