It's okay for women to have rights, just so long as they don't use them?

Question

I notice that some people post about the 'unintended consequences' of feminism and how divorce has rocketed, mothers are working and marriage is optional. But it makes me wonder - what did people expect? Isn't it a good thing if people make use of their rights? And if women are using them frequently, doesn't that mean these rights were all the more necessary? What do you think? :-)

Answer 1

Rights are one thing.... but if you are using it to get things you don't deserve.. it's quite another..

"I should get to be CEO because no woman has been"

" " I should be allowed to devorce at any time"

" It's my body, I should be able to decide"

the real answer;

The most qualified gets the job

You should have checked out your partner before marrying him

You should have kept your pants on, if you didn't want to get pregnant...

Answer 2

Yes, I agree! It makes me sad though that equal rights is labeled "feminism", like it's some kind of cult. Don't any of these "anti feminists" have daughters, sisters, or mothers? Don't they want them to have a good quality of life?

Answer 3

Yes they should be used WHEN NECESSARY.

I don't have a problem with single mothers because they are being great role models to their children by their determination to not be dependent on the welfare system.

I don't have any problem with married mothers who work because their husband doesn't make enough money for her to stay home.

I don't have a problem with childless women who work because it does get a little boring at home waiting on their husbands to come home from work.

I DO have a problem with women who use the excuse that being a homemaker and SAHM is boring and "not for them". They work while their children are unnecessarily in Day Care being raised by strangers.

I do not single these mothers out, because they aren't bad women, they are just misguided by Feminism. As a whole I can see the effects it has on our children. They are physically maturing too fast for their age. I just don't think that Susan B. Anthony and Eleanor Roosevelt would have intended that women give their children over to someone else to raise just because motherhood didn't suit them. I can guarantee that that was not their intention.

Answer 4

Its ok for PEOPLE to have rights,and exercise them. If something in their  life is not acceptable to them for some reason,change it! Lack of inability to change things is ones own fault. People need to start taking responsibility for their actions,and stop excusing it away,and blaming it on someone else!

Answer 5

Let me try and explain.

USING the right to work >

When she is single and must work to support herself.

ABUSING the right to work >

When she already has a man to support her and it means she is taking a job from another man.

USING the right to vote >

When she votes for the same person as her father/husband.

ABUSING the right to vote >

When she votes for someone her father/husband doesn't approve of.

USING the right to divorce >

When her husband is putting her in A&E every month with broken ribs (but only if she doesn't have children > if she does she is abusing this right. Oh, and so long as she doesn't expect any money.)

ABUSING the right to divorce >

When her husband is cheating on her.

When she gains to stand more than £1 in alimony.

As you can see it is quite easy to abuse these rights.

Great question.

Answer 6

I think people object to the creation of a culture where divorce is seen as a profitable lifestyle choice and bonding with ones kids is something that is done in an hour or two in the evening by an overtired working person.

Divorce is fine, devaluing men, children and sahms is a mistake.

Kids need to be attached, detached people commit crimes. Our detached kids will be detached parents who produce even more detached kids. We could be knee deep in sociopaths before we know it. You live in the UK , horrific seeing a society come apart like that isn't it?

The end of the family, the world populated by detached single wage slaves, a population of single wage slaves will be very easy to push around, that seems to be where we are going, many aren't happy about it.

EDIT, excellent answer Sophie B.

Answer 7

About abusing rights:

I have a right to pursue happiness.  Does this mean that if I felt that drinking to excess, using drugs, sleeping with whomever I chose, gambling my paychecks away, ignoring my children and driving recklessly on a regular basis made me happy it would be acceptable for me to behave in this manner.  My opinion is that it would not.  I would be abusing my right to pursue happiness, and I don't believe I should be allowed to do this.  I would expect to find myself in jail at some point.  There's such a thing as exercising your rights in a mature and responsible manner, and there is such a thing as abusing them.  Abusing ones rights leads ultimately to losing ones rights.

Answer 8

I believe the responses to your excellent question reveal the gender gap to its fullest; men's basic righ0ts inalienable, unquestioned, women's rights - ok to have as long as we don't abuse them, which means what? oh! yes! challenging the societal concept of 'male privilege. How dare we not remember our place when we have kindly been granted just a little more 'independence, not equality though!

Eleanor B...good one!

'

Answer 9

People didn't expect women to go around thinking that they were the same as people, I guess.

Answer 10

Its ok for women to have rights. I don't care if they use them. I don't see any good in remaining in a marriage if its not doing good to the people involved. In that sense, I guess divorce is a good thing if the man or the woman in the marriage is abusive. I only refer to laws that victimize MEN for what happened in the PAST.

"Isn't it a good thing if people make use of their rights? " - Who cares if they use their rights for the RIGHT reason? With laws in countries that allow men to be jailed just because the women were "threatened", the assertion that its a good thing if people make use of their "rights" needs to be re-evaluated.

Answer 11

I think there is a difference between using rights and taking advantage of them.  Frankly I have no problem with mothers working...I intend to work after having children, and I can tolerate couples not marrying even after having children, but I can't tolerate couples not accepting responsibility for their own children or using their singleness as a Pitty Card.

As for divorce, marriage has become a joke to the large majority of the population.  They think if you are not happy, you leave.  Divorce is understandable in abusive or unfaithful situations, but the large majority are just because people think of marriage like a high school relationship...you don't love the person anymore so you leave, or the other person changes so you leave....

EDIT- I am over 21, I have the right to drink correct...it's not a privilege, we let anyone over 21 drink...you don't need to pass a test or anything and this right cannot be taken away from you.  So are you saying people cannot abuse this right to drink?

EDIT- Divorce rates are down because more people are choosing not to get married.  Less marriage, less divorce.  I would hope those in unhappy relationships would either keep their unhappiness (screaming, fighting, belittling each other) out of their children's lives or at the very least help their children understand how you work though problems and keep your commitment.  But I realize the "All about ME" people of the world are unable to do this.

Answer 12

It seems that a lot of posters are pointing out how "women's" rights have lead to "abuses" and "extra-privileges." The attitude seems to suggest that "We gave women rights, NOW look what's happened...divorce, violence against women laws, etc."

So what about "men's rights?"  What abuses have they lead to? Or is it only "women's rights" that have lead to "abuse" and caused the world to run amuck? So...what's the SOLUTION? Take away those rights? Curb back the tide of equality? I'm sure there were plenty of people who thought that the world was going to h**l in a hand basket when black people were given equal rights in the U.S. And I'm sure they wished that they could just reverse Civil Rights. (Hmmm...people that think things were better BEFORE black people could use the same water fountain....what do we call those people?) Just like there seem to be people who think that if the women's rights movement had never occurred, the world would be a better place.

Again, there is never any talk of how "bad" MEN'S RIGHTS have made the world....because MEN (white men) "having rights" is a forgone conclusion. There is no questioning THEIR rights. And the REAL issue here, is that some seem to feel that just by giving rights TO EVERYBODY, it somehow diminishes the rights of others. Their "privilege" has become threatened.

As "Report all Feminists" said, women "tend to use their rights for evil." The implication being that women are inherently evil, and thus should have less rights...because women abuse them, of course (unlike men). WOMEN ARE LESS HUMAN, according to these people. Some sort of sub human with a little too much "evil" in them to be allowed to have full rights and equality, equal to a man. Positively Medieval.

Answer 13

I always wonder at people who lament divorce rates (which have actually declined in recent years).

Because...it's apparently BETTER to remain in a miserable marriage, unhappy with each other and making your children miserable, then part company and move on with your lives. Explain THAT one to me?

Answer 14

divorce skyrocketed b/c people left unhappy and abusive relationships - infidelity, communication breakdowns, financial stress/poverty that causes instability, etc. are the causes of divorce. NOT feminism.

In fact, recent research finds modern women have more babies than traditional ones (b/c these women are doing ALL the work, whereas modern women marry progressive men who help out).

Also, mothers have  ALWAYS worked, in many cases it just wasn't paid. They did other paid jobs - took in borders, rolled cigarettes at home, sewing, etc. Of course, poor mothers have ALWAYS worked too - nobody complains about them.

You'll find conservative, right wingers, religious folks like to blame feminism b/c it's soooo easy. Notice the Popes remarks on feminism, their un-progressive stands on birth control, etc.   These people are often more concerned with patriarchy than society.

Cheers~j

PS - I challenge anyone to find ONE person who divorced for "frivolous" reaons or who regrets their decision.

Ppl take this decision quite seriously and with much contemplation and soul-searching. Go to a divorced support group if you have any doubts.  

Answer 15

The problem is we now have a glaring double-standard.  Let me illustrate it for you -- I ride the bus to work, and one of the women who rides the bus works in my building and gets paid the same amount of money as her male counterparts.  However, when she has to stand on the bus she complains about the men not giving up their seats so she can sit down.  That begs the obvious question for women:  Which is it going to be?  Do you want to have equal rights or do you want to be treated with deference as women have been treated in the past?  I'm sorry, but "both" is not an acceptable answer.

Answer 16

"I absolutely believe we should have the right to abuse our bodies - so long as we continue to provide for ourselves (work) and pay our bills (child support)."

Yes! On this, I could not agree more. People should be free to do whatever they want to and for themselves, as long as nobody ELSE gets hurt in the process. It's only when *others* are harmed that use of one's rights becomes abuse. Nobody has the right to save sane, well-adjusted adults from themselves. To do so is to treat them like children.

We have far too many laws in the books, pushed forward by people who want the government to be everybody's Nanny. Freedom isn't free... I get that. Freedom also isn't *safe* or *nice*. Sometimes it is dangerous, insensitive, and obscene, but I would not trade it in for the kind of society the wingnuts in the Political Correctness movement and the Moral Majority want to create.  

Answer 17

I actually agree with your proposition. But society has changed a lot, for better and for the worse. If the divorce rates came instantly after the social change took place, 30-40 years ago I'd agree with you. But since they're more gradual and cumulative than that, I'd say no it's society that has changed, not solely the law. There is a difference between using and abusing your rights, right? A liberty and a freedom to do something, shouldn't equate to an entitlement or license to do something.

"This is where I would have to disagree - how can you abuse a 'right' and how would it be a bad thing? They're rights, not privileges :-)"

Sometimes a privilege and right are hard to distinguish, and I think you know that. A lot of rights the women's rights movement has gained are actually privileges when you look at what men don't have.

The VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) is not a right, men don't have a Violence Against Men Act, it is simply is a domestic privilege in the family courts. Title IX, is not a right, it is as a quota to enforce equal outcome, when equal opportunity was already present in most cases.

Answer 18

Unless there is physical abuse, extreme emotional abuse, or chronic adultery, there is no reason to divorce.

Unless the family needs money for needs, women that work right after giving birth for want might as well give their child up for adoption.

The decline in marriage is a result of people only being able to commit to themselves. This is the first generation where a majority of people spent massive amounts of time in daycare. It shows.

Answer 19

Little note on divorce rates that I find interesting:

"Families with two earners with good jobs have seen an improvement in their standard of living, which leads to less tension at home and lower probability of divorce," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of public policy at Johns Hopkins University."

It also states that educated couples are less likely to get divorces...so, women having the right to work and become educated has acutally improved marriage and standard of living. So, it isn't feminism that's destroying marriages...it's stupid people.

Still, the rate of people getting married has gone down. However, there are still a substantial amount of people living together (common law), so it isn't as if relationships have halted, they've just changed.

Answer 20

I don't have a problem with women having or using their rights, but! women tend to use those right for their evil puposes,and that is when the problem lies.

Answer 21

Basic rights isn't the problem.  The problem is that women have more than enough rights and those rights can easily be exploited and take advantage of by women who want to, to achieve their own selfish needs.

Answer 22

About divorce; during the time Colonial America was under British rule divorces were basically not heard of; however, once they gained their independence the wheel turned the other way: Liberal New England laws, in contrast, stemmed from a longstanding Puritan belief that it was better for unhappy couples to separate and remarry than to be joined forever in a state of discord and temptation to sin.

*Mother's/womens also took their right to work. In 1707 Henrietta Johnston begins to work as a portrait artist in Charles Town (now Charleston), South Carolina, making her the first known professional woman artist in America; to supplement her husband's meager salary.

"Were it not for the Assistance my wife gives me by drawing of Pictures. . . I should not have been able to live." In 1709 the Rev. Gideon Johnston wrote these words to describe his early days as minister of St. Philip's Church in Charles Town (now called Charleston), South Carolina.  Rev. Johnston was referring to his wife Henrietta, the first American artist to work in pastels and the first female professional artist in America.  

Henrietta she married Gideon Johnston, a widowed vicar with two young sons on April 11, 1705 .

1830s Mills in industrial towns such as Lowell, Massachusetts, are staffed almost entirely by young women. These “mill girls” have a kind of independence their mothers could not have imagined. They earn their own money and live together in boardinghouses. They also take part in strikes and other actions by organized labor.

Looks like to me those women were exercising their rights.