It's only been 6 months and my marriage is heading down the drain...?

Question

I'm worried about the state of my marriage. I know newlyweds always have a rocky road during the first year or so, but it's just getting so bad between us. We fight a lot- harsh, accusing, screaming, crying, etc. Sometimes I am beside myself with anger. For a few days, we'll be peaceful but then the stupidest thing will set us off again and it takes a couple days to recover. He works and I am (unsuccessfully) trying to find a job, so this causes all sorts of problems due to differing expectations (on my share of the housework, what I should do in my spare time, finances). We had also relocated to a new city, where I don't have a lot of connections, friends, or outside support, so I'm lonely and pretty miserable, and not having a job makes it worse. He feels overwhelmed because he works all day (to the point of being a workaholic, another issue) and fights all night. Our relationship now barely resembles when we were dating (peaceful, caring, supportive). What should we do? How can we work this out? Anyone been in a similar situation?

Answer 1

Your share of the housework? Are you serious? You are not working, therefore your job is the house. I am a house wife, and my husbands dinner is ready for him when he gets home from work. His laundry is always done and neatly folded. My husband NEVER cleans. I get to go tanning when ever I want. My nails, and hair done. Shopping within our means. He drives a crappy truck and I have a brand new car. You should be showing your appreciation for all of his hard work. A good house wife does not complain about how much her husband works and never makes him clean or do any of her chores. You should make his life as easy as you can. ... I don't know if this is a problem for you or not but make sure he knows you will give it up when ever he wants and have fun with it. I think those things which are fun and easy will help save your marriage. btw I have been married for a year this july.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your troubles. Hang in there. My wife and I are in our first year as well 10/01/07 to today. Talk to a close friend or your mom for support first. My wife and I don't have disagreements since I am a passive guy....like Jon from Jon & Kate plus 8. I think one person in the relationship needs to be submissive and if it isn't going to be him it should be you. Two agressive head strong people will only butt heads and end up in divorce. Decide whether for the sake of love and your marriage you are going to concede a fight and let him win one....think about the future...hostility is not the way

Answer 3

Learn how to get back to the original state of love and support you had at the begining:

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

Answer 4

I agree with most of the other posters. You should be doing the housework if you aren't working. I have been married for three years, and the only chore my husband has is to mow the lawn, and only because he does not like for me to do that myself. I work during the school year (teacher) but he is still the main supporter financially for our home and since he works longer hours than I do I still take care of the house work.

Finding a job can be hard, but that doesn't mean you can't resort to doing what most college students do, work at a fast food place, as a waitress or a hostess, work in retail, it doesn't matter where just to help you not only get out of the house but make new friends. Marriage isn't about spending 24/7 with your husband, you cannot define yourself as a wife and have that be it or you will be miserable. Marriage is hard and if you weren't ready for this responsibility maybe you should have had a longer engagement or lived together first to see what it was like and how it would work out.

Work on your marriage. I do not believe in divorce, it is a terrible option. Things will work out if you truly love each other.

Answer 5

Money has ended lots of relationships. You have to put your love for each other first and remind each other that stuff happens and you need to have each others backs to get through it.

Answer 6

me kinda i moved in with my bf when i was 16 and he was 18 it was not pretty we were always mad at each other, i think its not going to work out. is been over one year in the half since and we are stil together is just we needed our space, privacy

Answer 7

You decided to change your life by marrying this man.  Did you think things would stay the same?  Not. Take your behind to the unemployment office and get a job.  It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something.  For now, all the housework is your responsibility.  YOU DON'T WORK.  Why should he come home and clean house.  That is just wrong.  You need to get your act together and realize that being married isn't playing house.  It is house.