It's said so often, it must be true.?

Question

I just read an answer which stated, " I feel sorry for those poor kids grades 5 - 8 who have never swung on the bars or played on the school playground."

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao8_1qrOzF8D6QZ_hm4g0FvAxQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20080403005826AAuV7Oi

No wonder socialization is brought up so often if anti-homeschoolers think we keep our kids locked up, no friends, no playtime, no exercise, no fresh air, no sunshine.

Well, it's implied so often, it must be true! We keep them barricaded inside the home (that's why it's called HOMEschool, right?). We all homeschool because we are intolerant of other beliefs and think evolution is evil. Some of us make our poor kids study all day long, while unschoolers simply play video games... in fact, they don't even have books in the house. Books...who needs 'em?!

Yeah right.

If being willfully ignornat is so fun, maybe I should give it a try. Where do these misconceptions come from, and why are they so persistent?

Answer 1

I fully understand that MANY parents do an excellent job of home schooling their children, socialising them and raising them to be well adjusted.

However, I was home schooleded and knew other kids who were home schooled too. I was kept at home, with no outside association except occassionally with the elderly neighbors. The only time we left home was for church and groceries. I had no friends, I was incredibly lonely and didn't know how to talk to people.

At church there were other kids who were home schooled and they would literally cry when spoken to because they were so nervous and frightened.

My parents got away with abusing me because there was no one to notice what was happening to me. When a family member realised what was happening the police were called. We ended up moving and I spent the last two years of school in high school. I slowly learned how to socialise, my grades improved and the teachers arranged for me to get counseling. But to this day I have panic attacks at times when around people or when I'm in public because I simply don't know how I'm suppose to interact with people.

Please believe me when I say that I know home schooling can be a good thing. But there are people out there who WILL use and abuse the system to mistreat their kids.

To battle the stereotypes and misconceptions about home schooling, the first thing that must be done is to acknowledge that people do misuse it.

Answer 2

Ok. I'm going to answer your question honestly and assume that you are asking a question and not just trying to prove a point.

I am, in general, anti-homeschooling. Not in a judgemental way, and not because I'm ignorant. I think, all else equal, that it's better for kids to be in a school environment. Not because I think you lock your kids inside all day or whatever. But just in general, like I said, all else equal.

My reason is because of people who I know who were home-schooled and their experiences of it. I can think of four people off the top of my head who I am acquainted with who were homeschooled for at least part of their childhood/adolescence, and none of them regard it as an overall positive experience.

I know someone will jump in and say that 4 people hardly represents the entire homeschool population, and yes, I know that, but I am answering your question about the basis for my opinion.

The people I know that I am talking about are all now in their late 20's. They had difficulties socially, when growing up and trying to expand out of their small homeschool group or whatever, like when going to highschool or entering the world at whatever stage that they did. Also all felt like their education suffered.

And, one of the four people I am thinking of is my husband. So we've actually talked about it a lot. He would tell you that at the time, he was glad to be homeschooled but that now as an adult, having had the experience himself he would never choose that route for our son.

If that's what works best for you, then wonderful. But not everyone who disagrees is an idiot.

And one more thing: when you are so offended by other people's opinions, it makes it look like you are unsure of your own; that you're threatened in some way by it. So live and let live, make your own decisions and if you feel like you are honestly doing what's best for your family, then don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. But if you have doubts, explore them. Don't just attack anyone who makes you question yourself.

Answer 3

It is madness.

I do not even begin to know why a woman would think that a child needs to go to a school to play on a play ground. It makes me wonder what her family does for fun. What makes that misconception funnier, is that my daughter's public school did not have a playground with monkey bars! It took years of the parents doing fundraiser after fundraiser for the school to get the money to build a decent playground. Even once they did, the schools had removed recess from the daily itinerary. Back in our public schooled days, they only way she played with other kids on a playground was if I took her to the park.

The things people assume.............*boggle*

EDIT: Why, thank you thumbs downer. I agree; not giving children recess or providing them with play equipment is horrible. It is good to know we all have our priorities in order.

;)

EDIT: Tash, again my heart goes out to you. My regrets for you are many and deeply felt. But, how is homeschooling ("there are those who would misuse it") different from anything else? No one denies that some parents abuse their children and among those tiny minority are homeschoolers. Also, what has that to do with the question? The woman stated flatly that she pitied young homeschoolers because they never got out. She did not say she pitied the rare homeschooler, or some homeschoolers. She implied not only most, but ALL of our children are raised much as you were. Can you not just admit that that is a ridiculous comment? If you cannot then, I can assume you agree with her or at least find it a reasonable assumption, which it is clearly not.

Answer 4

LOL!  I saw that, too and I thought it  was hilarious.  

My children are usually swinging from the monkey bars and playing on the playground while public school kids are sitting at their desks.

I usually feel sorry for the public school students.  Especially the ones who are being medicated so they can stay still.  (How's that for a generalization?)

Answer 5

The thing I wish I could personally ask each and every person who makes a comment like the one you are talking about is: Would you honestly keep your child home all the time if you homeschooled them at that age? Would you honestly not allow them to leave the home, play at a playground, meet other children? These type of comments always point to, from a psychologically analytical point of view, a perceived inability on the "speaker's" part to do otherwise. THEY can't fathom doing a good job homeschooling so they are against other people doing it, too, assuming that others would do it the same way. (Yes, there are plenty who feel they couldn't do it and admire those who can, but I'm speaking specifically about those who make comments like those mentioned.)

It's NOT because it's repeated so often that it makes it true--although, sure, some people don't think further than their noses and hear a comment like that and don't question its validity; it's because of their own (perceived) inability to do it otherwise.

Where they come from? A lack of skill in analytical and critical thinking to be sure. This causes faulty projection ("all of the homeschoolers I've ever known were... so that means that most homeschoolers are ....") or just plain faulty assumptions ("homeschooling is at home; therefore you don't go out"). It'd sure be nice to run a course in logic. ;)

Answer 6

I believe some of this came from the  years when it was still illegal to home school. Parents had to 'keep a low profile' in order to not end up getting in trouble for their kids being out of school.  Because of that they often had to keep kids indoors during school hours, there were no homeschool co-ops, no field trip groups, no homeschool bands, curriculum companies often refused to sell books to parents, no community support at all. The kids had way less social opportunities than home schooled children do now and more exposure to the courts and to lobbying to get laws changed.

That made for a generation of homeschoolers that were less social than their age mates and also who had a higher understanding of our government and how to stand up for what they believed in. I think the combination of the two experiences made for kids who really stood out in our society as unusual. It caused a reputation of low social interaction and  high political involvement for homeschooling, even thought the current generations have a way different environment and experience.

Current and future generations of homeschoolers are and will be very different but reputations that spread over the whole country/world are tough to change. I figure it will be several more generations before we even see how homeschoolers really stand out.  Every year there are more and more oppurtunities for these kids.  It's a whole new world from just a few years ago.

p.s. my homeschooled daughter LOVES the monkey bars at the playground!

Answer 7

Most people see school as  a social place, not really a place to learn.  They feel that if a child isn't getting that interaction, that they are not well rounded. They don't understand that home schooled children are getting interactions such as other sports teams, clubs and even field trips funded by the state.  They also don't realize that home schooled children actually get a better more rounded education than public school children. They get to be more creative in their learning and assignments.

Answer 8

That comment was so "sad" it was funny.  I had to laugh out loud on that.

Hee Hee, Bambina & Glee...

Do you know my PS'ed DD's school has three swings and one slide?  That is ALL.

BUT, we live 2 miles from our zoo.  THEY have monkey bars...where?  Right next to the monkey cages!  :-)  There is a huge playground park attached to the zoo - more monkey bars!  When the zoo is open (seasonally), we go there at least once a week to walk and check on the animals.  My son *learned* how to do monkey bars (not the sharpest with gross motor skills, but very intelligent) at the zoo after years of trying (at many parks) with HS get-togethers at parks.

As a family, we go to a large park 1 mile from our house and fly boomerangs.  The park is attached to the school playground, that is open.  So my PS'ed child, who has basically NO playground equipment (her school playground also doubles as a park), LOVES to play on that playground while DH, DS, and I fly boomerangs and the dog looks on.  My poor PS'ed DD is wanting MORE playground.  :-)

Just today my son attended the youth symphony concert (where he reminded me he was sooooo glad not to be a PS student), attended a cub scout meeting (with 5 other PS'ed kids), worked on his high school math class (he's 10), and his college math class, and jumped with the neighbor kids' (PS'ed) trampoline for an hour.  Somewhere in there we did research on our breeding geckos, and he figured out a business plan for selling the offspring.  He also researched fake Ty Beanies after purchasing one at a thrift store.  We also went to the nature conservatory to purchase some maple syrup made from local trees (we'd gone to a field trip about tapping trees & making syrup 2 weeks ago), and we went to an herb farm to start planning our flower, vegetable & herb gardens.  Oh, and we stopped by the library, too!  I almost forgot - at the nature center, we watched a pileated woodpecker tear huges pieces of bark off a tree and drill a huge nest hole.  DS told everyone going by all about it and how woodpeckers' heads, beaks, and tongues are designed.

Whew!  Do you know how many adults he talked to today?  Loads!  They all said, "Oh, is school out today?"  To which, he said, "I'm homeschooled.  I'm doing school now."  :-)  We did math at Target.  In his head he figured out which of three types of diapers would be the best buy.

We also received a large supply of books for ourselves, and for friends at co-op who we'll see tomorrow.  (Scholastic order)

Soooo, my son sure is not locked up, no fresh air, no playing, etc.  LOL!

I just have to respond to this part of the answer you are talking about:

"I feel sorry for those poor kids grades 5 - 8 who have never swung on the bars or played on the school playground.

They need to learn to play, work and get along with other adults as well as children and cant if they are stuck home on a daily basis."

Hmm, stuck at home?  No adults to get along with?  I just recounted our day.  I think I'll start calling HS'ing "Community Schooling".  :-)

Answer 9

I know you asked for those who are anti-homeschool to answer, but I just thought I'd chime in anyway!  

I find those kinds of opinions funny too!  Spoken from people who know nothing about homeschooling.  

I wonder if these people have EVER heard of public parks and playgrounds, churches, homeschool co-ops, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, swimming lessons, gymnastics classes, soccer, martial arts classes, library programs for kids...

Its so sad that some kids *only* get to experience what the Public School has to offer, and have to miss out on all those other things! (Of course, I am joking, I am well aware that most public school kids get to do some of things I mentioned above, I am just turning the tables.)