It's too hard for me to handle.. I want to live with my brother. Please help?

Question

okay, so i'm 13. I live with my mom in Utah. My parents are divorced and my dad lives in Virginia. I only get to visit him twice a year, Christmas and in the summer. I have a 20 year old brother, and i only get to see him maybe.. every 5 months. When something that hurts me really bad, i always call my brother, he's been my support and courage.. Every night, i cry knowing i want to go home..

I want to move in with my brother.. But i don't want to hurt my mom, my mom has been there for me so much.. but i can't live here anymore.. I have trust issues i really do. The 3 years i've lived here. i've only trusted one person. But it's been hard to. All the people i trust, live in louisiana..

Is there any way, that i can live in louisiana, with my brother, with the acceptance from my parents? i know, it'll be so much easier for me..

All there's been here has been arguments after arguments, and i need help from my friends.

Thank you so much.

Answer 1

It is easy to say all that, but I will remind you that the grass on the other side of the fence isn't always greener.

You don't go into what really has you upset, either... if you are doing the typical teenage rebellion, then you can make your life go a lot smoother by automatically covering your bases (pick up after yourself, do your chores, stay out of trouble and make good grades) without being asked. By demonstrating this level of maturity, you will get the corresponding level of freedom and control due someone your age. If you have been stuck in a new school because of this divorce, then look at it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself... join some school clubs and extracurricular activities so you will better your chances of meeting new friends.

Your brother would have to file with the courts, with your mom's permission, to become your legal guardian.

At age 20, I am betting that he neither has time, inclination or money to become your surrogate parent... you would probably be a burden to him.

Given that, a family court judge will hear a 12 year old, and will typically give a 14 year old the full right to decide which parent you would prefer to live with.