It gets me so upset to see that nobody will let my 6 year old boy sit with them on the bus?

Question

He is the 1st one in and the last to sit down. I see him walking up and down the aisle looking for a seat. I ask him if anyone lets him sit when he asks to sit with them and they say no. I ask him why and he says " I DON'T KNOW". So what can I do to get him to tell me why no one lets him sit with them on the bus?

It hurts my feeling that he is the last to sit on the bus. It has a lot of high school kids and kids my son's age. I know my little boy, he is sweet and mild tempered.

What do I do?

take him to school in the mornings in my car or let him handle this on his own?

Thanks

Answer 1

I'm sure this happens all the time to kids and soon he will make a good friend and they can sit on the bus together. Don't worry it will work itself out.

Answer 2

I would talk to the bus driver.  Tell him/her what you are seeing and that is it causing your son anxiety.  Maybe she can "assign" seats so that no one has hurt feeling.  I had to do this with my daughters bus driver because my daughter is extremely shy and has anxiety.  My daughter can't "ask" to sit with someone because she just can't get the words out. She makes sure that there is an empty seat for my daughter to sit in, and that way, she has a seat, and if someone wants to sit with her they can, if not, at least she has a seat.  I went to the school and found my daughters bus to talk to the driver before the kids were dismissed.

Answer 3

I can't even imagine how angry and frustrated you must feel. My son is 3 and starting kindergarden next year and I don't want him to go half the time, it scares me to death. You could drive him and pick him up and that will help him short term, but won't really prepare him for the future. I think you should just keep talking to him about it, and encourage him to be a little more outgoing. Unfortunately this isn't the only time in his life stuff like this will happen, and you can't drive him to school for the next 12 years. It really sucks though. I feel your pain. One more thing, have you considered trying to  get him into an activity to boost confidence, like boxing or karate? It can't hurt to give it a try. Good Luck!

Answer 4

What kind of bus driver lets the kids pick where they are going to sit?!?  Especially on a bus that carries elementary and high school students.  That is just begging for trouble!  Perhaps the director of transportation needs to talk to the driver about having assigned seating, like most school buses do these days.

Answer 5

I am a stay at home mom so yes I do drive my kids to school everyday so they do not have to deal with the bus situations. We live close to the school but even if we did not this is one of the reasons my husband and I decided I would stay home so I can take them and pick them up. It helps them have a better start to their day (in my opinion) and its nice if they have had a bad day to have mommy there at the end of the day as well vs a long bus ride first. If you can take him and pick him up chances are in a few years he may want to ride the bus.

I am not saying anything against those who have to use the bus. This is just our choice. I will not go so far as to home school my child to shield them from kids/teasing but if I am a SAHM I see no reason they should deal with additional issues if I can help ease some. Plus like I said we live close I do not see why they should spend 45 minutes (yes I have checked on the time frame) on a bus when we live 5 minutes away.

Answer 6

I sat by myself on the bus everyday all alone from kidergarden- 6th grade and it sucked. Sometimes people are just cruel. Try and let him handle it but if things get worse drive him.(to make sure he has no mental breakdowns).

If you have a bus stop with a group of kids all waiting maybe try and help getting a conversation going  and push him into conversation.

EDIT:   THERE ARE HIGHSCHOOLERS?????? GET HIM OFF NOW! On my bus last year.... you don't want to know a bus w/ highschoolers is not the place for a kindergardner.

Answer 7

I would just drive him, let him handle this when he gets older.  That is too much for a 6 year old to handle!

Answer 8

Take him to school.  While I agree that kids do need to learn how to solve their own problems there needs to be some age-appropriateness.  If he is struggling to solve it on his own, take him this year and try the bus again in six months or next year.    

The magnet school in our district busses elementary, jr & sr high schools together.  Personally, I would not let my young elementary child ride with high schoolers

I take my child to school.  Last year a girl in her class brought a knife on the bus and was showing it to all the other kids.  They were all in kindergarten!  Once I feel my daughter is better able to handle these situations I may let her ride the bus, but I think it is too much for a young school child.  

Answer 9

It breaks my heart too.....

Why not see if things change in the next week or two.  If not, I would just take him to school.  I am not a big fan of school buses anyway, the driver must concentrate on the traffic, not the kids and if there are kids that much older than yours on the bus, who knows what "c**p" he's going to be exposed to: as in foul language, crude situations etc.

Answer 10

Aww, I would be upset as well...its so hard cause you want to help him but you also don't want to fight his battles as well....maybe take him to school and pick him up so that it is not an issue or ask the bus driver to do assigned seats for the younger kids and have them sit up front and the high schoolers in the back...but call the bus driver...don't do it when they pick up your child cause this can be embarassing...do it privately...

Answer 11

Are any kids on his bus also in his class? If so, tell him to get to know that friend in the classroom as opposed to trying to get to know them on the bus.

Answer 12

tell him if there is a space he can sit there, he doesn't need permission. then let him handle it on his own.

i find it crazy that they have high schoolers mixed in with small children.

Answer 13

I actually hate the bus, for this reason. Only 2 people per seat and someone always gets left out. In our area we hear horror stories about the middle and high schools getting sexual at the back of the bus. Bullying and all kinds of stuff because the only adult on the bus is busy- DRIVING.

I take my kids and pick them up.

Answer 14

He may not know why they won't let him sit. Those kids probably just tell him no and your son moves on to the next seat, to ask if he can sit. Kids can be very, very cruel and although your son is so much younger than some of the other kids, those kids may not be as caring as to look out for your son knowing that he's younger.

No parent wants to see or know that their kid is being picked on or being ostracized in any way. My son is also mild mannered, easy going, and one of the nicest kids I've ever met- and I'm not just saying that because he's my kid. It really hurts my feelings to know when other kids try and pick on him. It makes feel as if I'd give anything to be him for just one day, to show those other kids that nice guys aren't always punkish, as they seem to think.

My son wants to go to school alone. There aren't any other kids in my neighborhood that goes to his school so he would be riding the bus alone. Unfortunately, the only school bus that picks up kids in my neighborhood is a bus for special needs kids so my son would be riding public transportation. He's 9. I can't bring myself to let him go alone. My husband thinks I'm being overprotective and should let my son grow up and learn to handle things on his own. I unfortunately can't do that yet. I know that if something happened to my son- like, some kids try and bully him or steal something from him- that I'd go to jail because I'd hurt somebody (kid or not) if they messed with my son.

My head tells me that you should probably let your son try and handle it himself. I know that's what I should do. However, my heart tells me that you should just drive your son to school if possible. At some point, we as parents have to let our kids grow up and learn to handle problems as they arise. For me, that's easier said than done but I know that it's the best thing to do.  

Answer 15

Kids can be mean, and they tend to be extra mean on the bus.  They do it because in general they are only gonna get in trouble if they actually have a fist fight.   So, basically, there could be a thousand and one reasons, but it boils down to...  because they can.

There probably isnt much you can do about it.  ANd I understand, I was that kid once.