It happened AGAIN! why????

Question

must people keep telling me how lucky i am that i was not aborted????

Answer 1

Have you ever watched "Girl, Interrupted"?  You know that scene when they're in the ice cream shop and they all go off on that one lady?  I'm not saying you'd do this, or even that you SHOULD...but how funny would it be if you just went absolutely postal on these idiots?

I used to participate in a message board for spousal abuse.  I remember this one post - I hope I never forget it.  Some of the women who had been abused still feared their ex.  I totally relate to that.  I saw my ex a few times, and I totally lost my mind, I was so afraid!  This woman posted to the board that she learned to see her ex husband as bird p**p on her shoulder.  All she had to do was wash it off.  He couldn't harm her anymore, he was just a messy nuisance.  I don't know if that helps, but maybe something along those lines could make the situation a little more bearable for you.

I hope so anyway.

(((HUGS)))

ETA:  You know that bird that S**t on my shoulder?  He sticks around and gives me all the answers.  :-D

Answer 2

The anti-choice people on this forum have in my opinion their own agenda and can't see the harm comments like that are.  It minimized your loss and grief and was innappropriate.

Answer 3

I don't know, that is disgusting behavior.

Why would anyone say such a stupid thing, who else would you say "well you could be dead" too?

Answer 4

Hey girlie!... Umm I would ignore her. Just say well im sorry you didnt but you did so here i am do with me what you want. I wouldnt give her the time of day honestly. I know she is your biological mom and everything but my mom is my biological mom and she raised me and everything. But i still dont like her at all. So just she isnt somone you want in your life, be with ppl who make you happy!!!

Answer 5

My first reaction would be to say "yeah, and I'm glad you weren't hit by a mack truck today", but I think I like BPD's answer better.  She's got a point.  You sling it back at them and they look like the idiot.  And how exactly do they respond to that sarcasm?  Maybe it will make them realize what an idiot they sound like.  

P.S.  BPD - you can be my mom any time!  I like the way you think!

Answer 6

Yeah that is pretty rude.

Say Excuse me, thats a little rude.

And walk away.

Answer 7

Ask Mom

Answer 8

I am sorry that your mother said that to you.  I lost three young ones when I was younger.  One a medical Abortion, baby had died, and the other a misscarrage.. twin girls.

I still ache for them.

I have two wonderful children now and cherish them. I tell them I love them everyday.  

You dont deserve to be told that you were almost aborted. That is cruel.  My heart is hurting for you.  When someone tells you this, smile, say I am also. I have allot to look forward to.  When your mother says something like that to you tell her well I love you and walk away.   (my mother is mean also. and I am 35.. I just say I love you and walk away when she is mean 99% of the time she is around me).

She is your mother. I dont know how old you are but hopefully soon you can go to college and then be on your own. Then you dont have to worry about people telling you that you were almost....

the point is that you werent. I think that is Awesome, for what ever reason.  You are here... you can make a difference. and you are loved. OK. I hope you feel a little better.

Answer 9

You should just tell them that it's a shame they weren't.  

ETA:  I see from your edited details that you were offended by my answer (I assume you meant me).  My apologies.  It wasn't meant to offend you.  It was meant to give you something to throw back at the idiots saying this stuff to you and other adoptees.

Answer 10

I truly believe it's a knee jerk reaction. You know like name calling. it is so patheic, evil and hurtful! I'm so sorry someone said that to you. People who say this honestly think they are either making us feel better or what. But in reality it cuts to the core. i turn a deaf ear to people who use this to try to make a point or win an agrument. I personal feel that they are lucky that my hand did not connect to their face!!!

Answer 11

well I guess that's as bad as you bio mom telling you that she wished she aborted you ...

those comments are horrible and the people who make them aren't very nice ... its easy to say ignore them .. but I know you can't ... maybe say .. too bad you weren't ... that should stop them from saying it.

I'm glad you weren't and I hope you have parents who love you ... if not just know that not all people are mean and some of us do care!!  (I'm one of them!!)

Answer 12

Don't stress. Just say, "yeah, so are you". Your life is no less important than theirs, and if they are somehow referring to that, it's not worth worrying about. If they are being genuine, but obviously a little tactless, just let it go. We're all lucky we weren't. It's not necessary to comment on it.

Answer 13

Ignorance plain and simple.

Can we report them for insulting participants?

Answer 14

why did it happen again?

Answer 15

I hear ya.  Some people are really sick and lacking in even basic insight.  It's so dismissive and insulting.  If this is the best a person can hurl, it shows that the person has no understanding of adoption, parenting or human relationships.  

Let's just hope that no child ever has to be raised by people of such fiercely limited intellectual and emotional capacity.  

No one should be more grateful than any other for being alive.  Anyone could be the on the receiving end of life-ending occurrences at any point.  Being adopted doesn't mean there is, or ever was, more of a likelihood of such.

ETA:

I love Gaia's birdie poo story!