It is commendable to see men be responsible, in parenting!?

Question

Do you agree?

Answer 1

Why should it be commendable?? It SHOULD be expected of them. They are a parent just like you or I.

I never understood why people give men “credit” for being a parent. Or for paying child support. Or for being a good father. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do in life?

We should put REAL penalties on those that don’t step up on their own and stop giving credit to “good fathers” because it’s the way things should be anyways.

And please don't misunderstand, I think there are LOTS of good men out there that do this without recognition. I also enjoy seeing good men step up to the plate, but I hate how much of a big deal we all make of it because it's far from the majority of men.

** ADD **

Oh dear goodness, don't get me started on "good mothers". Just because you gave birth doesn't give you the title....

Answer 2

No. It is expected. Why should men get a pat on the back for doing what they are supposed to do?

Answer 3

As a mother, I appreciate when someone comments on how well I'm doing with my kids...it's just makes my day...who doesn't like to hear something like that? So yes, men AND women deserve to be praised for a job well done...someone compared it to "getting praise for showing up for work"....

Well...

1. Aren't you expected to just "do a good job"? That's what they're PAYING you for....

2. Doesn't it just feel great when you get a compliment anyway?

3. Doesn't your boss tell you once in a while that he/she likes your ideas?

4. Haven't you ever gotten a raise based on your job performance?

Of course my hubby and I are expected to take care of our kids...but it's just nice when someone else notices/ comments on how well behaved/ happy/ polite they are, for example.

Answer 4

Very much agreed!  I love it when fathers are good, consistent, responsible parents.

-Add-

It *should* be expected but there are a good number of fathers (and mothers) that even though it's expected it does not happen.  So I *do* commend any man or woman who is a good responsible parent.  It seems to be becoming a rare thing today.

Answer 5

I don't think men who are responsible parents should be complimented for it, because women aren't. It should be expected of men just like it is of women to be a good parent. But unfortunately in today's society, men are given praise for doing what they should - because many don't.

I was 17 when my son was born and his Mother left us two weeks later. I became a single Dad but I didn't know what to do. I was completely selfish, arrogant and immature and was a heroin addict. So I wasn't exactly in a position to be a parent at all. Anyway, I took on the responsibility that my girlfriend wasn't able to and I looked after my son. I got help to give up my addiction and worked hard to make myself a better person. It wasn't easy though, I was in and out of hospital for depression and schizophrenia and I attempted suicide many times. Now I myself am proud of what I've done and how far I've come, but I never understand when I get, 'Well done for being such a good Dad'. I just did what any decent person should do.

If the parent can't be responsible, they don't deserve to be a parent at all. Sadly, it is commendable to see men be responisvle in parenting nowadays - but it shouldn't be.

Answer 6

Your question implies that men normally aren't. It's phrased very sexist.

If it is "expected" of men, then there is no reason EVER again that a mom expect to be appreciated or complimented for her hard work.

I can hear the screaming if a man were to get on here and say it's EXPECTED of a woman to be this or that. Dear lord.

Sexism goes both ways. It should be avoided.

Any good parent should be appreciated. Period.

Answer 7

it is commendable to see fathers invlolved with their kiddos..

my husband does a lot for my kids....when they were infants i rarely changed or fed them..because my husband always wanted to do it. he said he wanted to feel that bond that i was feeling with them. and they are so in love  with their daddy.

Answer 8

Hang on. I'm a man, and I consider myself to be responsible in parenting, but I don't think I need to be belittled about it. You make it seem like it's some great feat for a man to be responsible. Well, guess what, there are many men out there who make great parents. We only hear about the dead-beats. The bad apples. I'm sorry, I don't like this question at all. I find it offensive.

Answer 9

Of course!!!! Why wouldn't it be?

Edit: I see what everyone else is saying about how it should be expected of them. My answer just goes to show you how screwed up society is. I didn't even think of the answer everyone else gave. Maybe because I'm not a parent yet?

Answer 10

To all the ladies who said something like "No, it is EXPECTED of them..." read mommy2bella's response. Of course it is expected of them. Yes sexism should be avoided, Yes men and women should share equally in parenting responsibilities ( and many do ) and Yes there is even a small, teeny-tiny contingent of men who do the "majority" of the parenting out there, and they are almost never recognized.

I think what we are forgetting here is that we are a community, whether we like it or not. And people make up communities, not jobs, or responsibilities, but people.

You might be wondering what the h**l im talking about.. perhaps an example to clarify

I frequent a local pancake house. It hires and fires a lot of servers, and when i go there with my wonderful wife and my three kids and wait in line for an hour to buy overpriced pancakes, i expect that when i do finally get to sit down and eat, that it is going to be worth the wait. there is a server there who's name is Debbe, we ask for her by name. In fact, we will often pull in front, wade through the line and make sure she is working that day before we even decide to wait it out in line. She does her job fantastically, prompt, professional, courteous, remembers our names, remembers our favorite orders, our particular condiments, and even what helps keep our kids entertained. She never messes up our order, and always helps us find ways to order things so we save the most money. Is it her job? of course it is, Shouldnt we expect that from all servers? probably, but

expecting something because it is a person's "job" DOESNT MAKE IT ONE IOTA LESS COMMENDABLE.

Shame on you ladies for saying "No, it's their job"

Many of you are crushed, and rightfully so, when your husband or signifigant other ignores your hard work and continuous efforts at home or at work or at church, and blows it off as nothing more than you "doing your job". Men and women should support and encourage one another in our goals and achievments, as marriage partners THAT'S "OUR JOB".

Do we commend actors for giving fantastic performances? yeah, with awards, and lots of them. What about athletes who "do their job?" You bet we do, with million dollar bonuses and MVP awards and all-star titles. What would society look like if we all went around and decided NOT to celebrate anyone for "doing their job"? There would be no military decorations, or medals. No trophies for your kids hard work on their sports achievments, no scholarships for kids who "do their job" and get good grades at school, no highways named after senators that actually cared for people and were remembered by a given community. There would be no President's Day, or Martin Luther King Jr. Day. In fact, there wouldnt be any of our big Holidays.

By not commending people for "doing their job" We decide NOT to celebrate the very thing that makes us human. Hope in achievement.

Answer 11

I agree. I like to see good mothers too. Even if we are suppose to put in the effort, there are lots that don't and saying 'good job' or 'wow you handled that well', are nice things to hear and make you feel good.

Answer 12

Responsible parenting should be commended regardless of who is doing it.  I'm a responsible father, as are 95+% of the fathers out there, but people love to play the sexist card and make it seem like parenting is a male/female thing.  

So yes, men should be commended for being good dads, and women should be commended for being good moms.

Answer 13

YES IT IS. PARENTING IS FOR TWO. NOT JUST US MOTHERS BECAUSE WE HAD THEM. NOW IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THE CHILDS LIFE THEN WHY EVEN BOTHER TO BE TOGETHER IF YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE RESPONSIBLE.

Answer 14

I don't know if it is commendable.  Should someone be commended for doing something that thier supposed to do.  It is a responseability that should just be done- It's like seeking praise for showing up to work.

Answer 15

It's very commendable, especially since there are so many irresponsible parents out there (even some with degrees who ought to know better).  Even more important, parents should be commending one another on their parenting.  It's not that I'm motivated to be a good mother just to hear my husband say it, but it's very reassuring to hear; it's extremely easy to feel unsure of your parenting skills or decisions even if you've been a parent for a long time.  Hearing "You're a good mother or father" is awesome.