It took me like 10 seconds to write thiss?

Question

sitting on the coldest chair possible

with a blade stuck through me heart

still alive thinking how i got here

looked for any other sign of live

knowing im the onlly one

i wait for something to happen

nothing does

as my life start to fade away

i have no happiness

i look to my left

and see a letter

too lazy to read it

half dead

i clse my eyes and sleep forever

Answer 1

It looks like a 10 second poem too, especially in grammar--Parts on it toward the end are not too bad--The first part needs a good deal of work-The blade through the heart thing just isnt working for me

Answer 2

i'm a lil confused.

what's your question?

♥

Answer 3

please reconstruct the lines

my life fade away

i have no happiness etc

add some lines on hope and happiness in a +ve way

Answer 4

this peom has many gramar and spelling errors. glad that u didnt waste a lot of time on this because it wasnt good. what was the meaning, the point? u need practice. show me something with EMOTION not everyday words. i want to c a large vocabulary and description. show me dont tell me. im not tryin 2 b rude but u posted this 4 a critque.

Answer 5

YES VERY NICE BUT I THINK THERE R FEW GRAMATICAL ERRORS BUT NOT THAT VERY NOTICIBLE----KEEP ON WRITING ---IM GONA READ UR OTHER POEMS----THE MISTAKES R MADE MAY B COS U'VE WRITTEN IT IN 10 SECONDS

Answer 6

It looks like a 10 second poem. What did you think, you would write a masterpiece in ten seconds and be cheered from yahoo answers? It doesn't work that way.

Answer 7

I'm glad you didn't waste any time in writing this, because I'm not going to waste any time reading it.

Answer 8

you must be a very fast typist and it shows.

I admire you, though as it must be difficult to type with a knife through your heart, but then you can't hear me now can you?

He asks, as if expecting an answer.

Answer 9

great capture of dynamics! wittle down the wordiness and you've got something really good. less is more here.

Answer 10

Hope it takes you less than 10 seconds to delete it...

It may be freestyle, but I read it and don't have a clue as to what its about.  All poems have a theme or a lesson, or a point in them but I have no idea why this individual is 'half dead' or any of it.

Answer 11

wow it was flowing. i felt flashbacks as i read it. it was one of the greatest poems ive every read

Answer 12

it's kinda related to Ur life i think ?

Answer 13

i thinks its a great poem I know that feeling all to well sometimes a welcome it like a familiar friend

Answer 14

Good, but you need to write nonfiction first for practice vs. indepth poetry.  Visit WRITER'S DIGEST.COM

Answer 15

I love it. It's deep, and dark. Dark poetry reaches out. Good job on this poem. Real good for 10 seconds.

Answer 16

I can almost taste the angst!