Its over with my best friend of 8 yrs. I dont know what to do?

Question

Me and my best friend of 8 yrs just broke up. I still don't know what happened. I am completely lost and i was shocked. I thought we were still close but all of a sudden, the other night on msn, she just says, you kno you are not a close friend anymore, you are a nice guy and all, but i dont want to be friends anymore. And when I asked why sherefused to answer. I loved her like my own family, actually closer because i had to leave my family because of them not wanting me to be friends with her, because of her being a girl and im 16. She has been the person closest to me for half my life and we have helped eachother through many problems. I even have scars from defending her, putting my life at risk. I wish I could hold on and still be friends, but I think she is gone, and i dont know why. What can I do? Should I move on? How? My life is empty without her.

Answer 1

I have always told myself it would be hard to date a close friend of mine.  As you are proving, you cannot be the friends that you once were after dating and then splitting.  Your friend probably really cares about you still and is really upset by the break up and cannot be as close to you as she once was.  It will probably hurt her pretty badly to see you move on with someone else and then try to remain your friend.  Another reason why I do not remain friends with my ex's, I tend to still get jealous even if I've moved on myself and see them with another.

Answer 2

When a person won't give an answer it is either because they are playing a game or is being manipulated or she just doesn't like you any more. Take the high road no matter how hard. If she loves you she will realize it and if she doesn't then you are better off. If you confront or accost her then you will push her away even more.

This is a very delicate situation and unfortunately you may never know why or have her back.

It sounds like you really care for her and I am sorry this kinda thing happens.

Best of luck!!

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear that. yes..it's kinda hard to figure people out particularly in a situation such as yours. You've had this friend and treated her as a family and all that and now she accuses you of not being a friend. All I can say is you'll have to just move on and in time you'll find another friend..it hurts i know. There's no need  to blame yourself as you did all you could to be a very best friend. Good Luck to you.

Answer 4

You can have a meeting with her somehow and somehow convince her to tell the problem. If the problem can be solved u can discuss a solution. If no, u gotta move on man. Life doesn't always give u what u want.Sorry ,this is all i can tell.

Answer 5

It can be even worse when a friendship breaks up than a romantic relationship.  I lost my opposite s*x best friend about 5 years ago and it was very traumatic because when things go wrong, you normally go to your best friend so you can feel very alone.  I'm sorry this has happened to you but let me put things in perspective - she can't be that wonderful of a friend if she so coldly dumped you.  You have put many of your relationships in jeopardy to be friends with her and have defended her with your life (which makes me question what is with all the drama?) and she dumps you like yesterday's garbage.  Time will heal this pain and in the meantime, look at what kind of a friend she really has been to you.  Good luck!

Answer 6

one should never lean so heavily on one friend. this may be why she want to distance herself from you. sure, she should be loyal after all this time, but if you really feel like ALL aspects of your life are empty without her, then maybe you didn't have enough going on in the first place....

try to see this as an opportunity, go and make more friends, join more clubs, put more into the other parts of your life, not just this one person. because for someone to just end a relationship like that she must be either mean, or really unhappy with the situation. either way, a little time apart is probably the best.

so in short,

1)apologies for whatever it was you did (if you don;t know say 'i'm sorry if i hurt you or anything)

2)leave her alone for a while, invest more time in some of your other friends.

3) in a few months or whatever seems appropriate, invite her out with some people and see if you can be Friends again....

Answer 7

Mmm, i'm kinda in the same situation. I think you should move on and value the friendship that you had. Are you sure she's not just going through a phase? It does sound all abit sudden.

But if it's not, then i guess you have to move on.

I know it's hard, and moving on isn't as easy as it sounds but i guess it has to be done. In life we all experience a certain change in our life, whether it's good or bad, but we all deal with it and that's how we humans live life. You said you're only 16, and you said that your life is empty without her, but your young! You still have plenty of people to meet in your life. Maybe no-one can replace her, but i'm sure you will find many other friends that will treat you with respect!

Answer 8

*hug* awee...am so sorry to hear that..

but this is sweet..if you have a piece of paper that when you were young you wrote on eg: she drew you or something...and send it to her..she will remeberr .it and then laugh about it ...

ask her what happend ?

why are you saying that ? wot did u do ?

good memoriess awwee

Answer 9

sounds like u like her. or even love her. haha. how old is she? shes just immature probably. leave her be. shes stupid if she doesnt want to be ur friend. get new friends. lifes not over. grow up/

Answer 10

may be you have hurt her really badly...or someone else came up... ask her friends if she has one,whether there is any problem in her life. try talking to her once more.if sure you have not done anything wrong to her believe me that day is long when she will realize what she has lost and that day she will regret it.

Answer 11

It's quite difficult to deal with, but being she won't answer you, it's hard to know what went wrong.  You should just move on as best you can.  The next several weeks/months will be hard, but you'll get through it and might even meet a new best friend.