Ive been engaged for 8 mos, together 4 yrs, my fiance gets mad & changes subject when i talk wedding..advice!!

Question

I want to start planning,m and he gets angry when i bring it up, sometimes, not angry, but he clearly avoids the subject and says theres no money..(which there is plenty) I am unsure if hes skeptical about me or marriage, due a previous bad marriage. I have asked and he changes the subject. I have started looking around for our wedding, but when i want to tlk with him about it, he ignores me?? What do i do?

Answer 1

been there done that this year. my husband was the same way. its just the thought of all the money flying around every where and with me i was pretty bitchy the last month before the wedding. man just dont want to deal with it because they think its a womans job, and the stress. believe or not its a big commitment for a man and its their way of talking to you. my husband and i didnt talk for the whole month before our wedding unless it had to do with our baby. its perfect now!

Answer 2

is he serious of having a marriage bond between u both , if not and if u want to still continue then fine else it is high time that u rethink and start ur life afresh with some one else

Answer 3

wake up, and start a new life. You know what we meant here. forget about it, change subject everytime? Fina a new place to work, and a apt. to live. Buy some good things but only for yourself.

That will help!

Answer 4

I think you already know the answer to your question.  I think you're grasping for whatever you can to hold on to the thought that the marriage will happen, which is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of.  

He seems really scared, or he just may not want to get married.  Make him talk to you about it...not about wedding details, but about where he sees the relationship going.

Answer 5

Hunny u gotta dump him! thats wut i would do! do it now! hes rude! post something tellin me what you desided on doin!!

Answer 6

I don't think this means he is a bad guy.  It's just a frustrating subject.  Try to get him to set aside a certain time when you will just discuss plans, that way it will not seem like it is all you are talking about, which might be what he is thinking.  This will be better in the long run because once the wedding is over, what is left if that is all you guys are discussing or working towards now.

Answer 7

i think hes having stress cause that can happend when you plan a wedding and alot of fights but i think that you should get treated nicely and much more respect cause its your wedding too i advice you to break it off cause next thing you know you want to have 4 kids and he wants to have 6 kids and also i would say to him it my wedding you listen up treat with respect why you ignoring me and saying like we bearly have money we do ok this is my special day too dont put me out of the picture and let him think about what he done to you.

Answer 8

If you can't understand the money issue, then take out your checkbook and stop expecting him to pay for your fantasy.

Answer 9

Aw hunny I'm sorry to tell you this but he DOES NOT want to get married. Whether it's because he was married before or it's you, he just doesn't want to do it. A guy proposes because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and wants that moment to start as soon as possible. My fiance is DYING to get married, he was bummed out that we had to wait as long as we did (my baby sister was married last august so we had to wait for my mom to save money). But I run EVERYTHING past him and he loves to get involved and give his opinion. :( I hate telling you that he's not gonna change his mind anytime soon, but he's not. You need to assess if you want to be engaged the rest of your life (and trust me, I have a good friend that's been engaged since high school and we're having our 10 year reunion this year... 2 kids later... no wedding), or if you want to cut your losses and find someone that DOES want to really marry you and get your life together started as soon as possible. And it's nothing to do with you it seems like. He seesm to have issues. Good luck!

Answer 10

I think that you should sit down with him and ask him what is really going on.  Figure out why he doesnt want to talk about any planning. Tell him that you guys need to start planning otherwise you will assume that he doesnt want to get married, at least not yet.  Good Luck.

Answer 11

Give him the ultimatum - it is time to get off the pot.  And if he still balks then put him to the curb - after almost 5 years he knows one way or the other.  He likes it with limited commitment

Answer 12

sounds like you need to have a SERIOUS talk with him!!! most couples are married within a year of the initial engagement-you are almost at that mark and haven't even STARTED planning!!

ask him why he put the ring on your finger if he wasn't going to follow through?!! tell him engagments weren't meant to last for years and you two have been together long enough to know where you want to end up.

explain to him that putting that ring on your finger was his way of promising you to spend the rest of your lives together. he might just be getting cold feet which happens to alot of people but he needs to be honest and up front with you about it.

tell him that you've patiently waited 4 long years for this to happen (almost 5 now) and it's time to start planning-no exceptions. if he no longer wants the marriage (as painful as that might be to you) then he needs to tell you now so you can return his ring and work out going your separate ways.

hopefully you can ease any fears or tension he might have and start planning things. tell him it takes up to a year to get everything in order-this might help some

good luck to you!!

Answer 13

Pay attention to how you work together to plan and trouble shoot for the wedding because it gives you a first look at how you will tackle future challenges. It is kind of weird that he doesn't want to talk about the wedding? Maybe he doesn't want a big repeat of his past wedding? (One of my divorce friends does not want to have another big wedding because all her relatives will have to compare the two ceremonies). You should find a way to compromise, or give him a deadline if it really bothers you to have him avoid the wedding.  Good Luck!

Answer 14

men realize what they have when they dont have it..if this is what he want he would be so excited..his actions r very clear.i think ur denying what hes really saying..sorry.i wouldnt do it.its your guys's wedding not just urs..

Answer 15

Do you seriously want to marry someone who wont talk with you about the START of your marriage - Gees, what'll he be like when it's really important stuff, like kids, money, illness, houses etc?

Honestly if you have to turn to Yahoo Answers, I think this is a bad start !