Ive been with a narcassist for 10 years, how can I help him?

Question

We recently broke up, again, and I have come to understand that he is definitely suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. I have not told him this, and i know he wouldn't agree. I want to know how to help him see that he has this problem and then to get help for it. What can I do to first make him realize he has this, I don't know if he has even heard of it before, and then what can he do or we do to fix him?

Answer 1

you could bring him to a counselor or a physiologist to actually diagnose the disorder, so he really believes he has it.  

Answer 2

you really can't reason, scream, talk or explain anything to them.  it's all about them and that's it.  the problem w/this disorder is that these people don't see a problem w/themselves. they lack empathy, compassion i mean it's scary.   you broke up so my suggestion is to take some time out for yourself.  i know you love him but how can you love someone who loves themself more?  you deserve better.  good luck!

Answer 3

I think my mother is narcissistic. There's really nothing that can be done. I think its nice of you to try to help him.... You could try therapy, but there's not a very good chance that he'll listen and go.

I definately wouldn't stay in the relationship either way. You've probably already figured out how emotionally drained you'll feel if you continue the relationship.

Answer 4

There are a lot of great books out there...i believe one is called "Why is it always about you?" anyway, staying with someone with such a difficult personality disorder is kinda crazy, your whole life is gonna revolve around it.  You cannot fix him.  You cant. There is a group called NAMI for the loved ones who deal with mentally ill loved ones.

Answer 5

NON CI HO capito un c***o!

But i love you!

Italia 4 ever

Sorry 4 my english..

Simone

Answer 6

He will not and cannot change, go out and meet up with a guy who loves you and not himself

Answer 7

YOU ARE AS SICK AS HE IS!!!!   Why? Because you stay with him, even though he's totally and completely selfish.

I am single and looking for a guy.  But I want a guy that is responsible, caring, respectful of me, dependable and reliable.  I'm not going to date someone for even a month if I feel he doesn't have these qualities.

My question to you is:  WHY WOULD YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY SELFISH????????

This is a choice that he has made.  He likes who he is and doesn't want to change.  Are you going to spend ANOTHER 10 years trying to MAKE HIM CHANGE??????

You need to leave him and let him be.  And you need to not date because you want a little boy to take care, not a full complete man.

Answer 8

Well it could be worse, At least he dont cut himself

Answer 9

You can't fix him.  I have a sister with the disorder, and it's excruciating.  By going back to him and enabling him, you will only make the problem worse.  He might pretend to be better to get you back so that he can control you , but if he really has NPD, he will never get better.

You can't get the last 10 years of your life back.

If he really has NPD, please move on.