Ive gained a lot of weight, how can he still find me attractive?

Question

i have a six month old baby boy and i gained about 50 pounds during the pregnancy!!! I am 5'4" and i was 140 when we met (my ideal weight) I was 160 when i got pregnant and am now down to 200!!!! I have HORRIBLE stretch marks all over my stomach and hips, my skin on my stomach is still saggy, and lets just say...i breast fed. I feel horrible about myself. But the thing is...he isn't the problem, its me. He always tells me i am beautiful and he says he still finds me attractive but i can't help but feel like i am a major turn off. He still gets aroused and still has a high drive but i don't. and it has nothing to do with the baby. I just can't stop thinking about how horrible i look while we are making love. I just want to hide myself from him so he doesn't get turned off. And even though i know he wont, i feel like if i don't let him see my body he won't get turned off and cheat on me. I hate that i feel this way. But how can i change the way i feel?

Answer 1

OMG - you have it made! any way you go you have this man supporting you!

If you are really not commmitted to your post preg body, then change yourself - it's easy - just decide you want no more fat or stretch marks, or whatever else is bugging you then set on your course and don't let ANYTHING get in your way

look at all these messages  - everybody here is a stranger to you and they believe in you - so you should be your own best friend and coach and believe in yourself and make yourself the way you WANT to be

if you get comfy with your body image and he is still into you, then so much the better if you can just change your own self perception and accept that your post-preg body is s**y and lovable

Answer 2

If he really loves you---and I think he really does---then he still sees you the way he did when he first fell in love with you and absolutely nothing you can ever do will change that.  You can black out all your teeth and shave your head but he will still see the girl he fell in love with.  Having his child made his feelings even stronger and deeper.  You have what every girl dreams of!  

Answer 3

I know how you feel, I have put on weight since I got married (so has he :P ), not from pregnancy, but just from lack of exercise and being a house wife. Hubby still thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world.

Start out by looking in mirror every morning and tell yourself "I am beautiful," because you are. Then, knowing  the problem is you, start fixing it. A lot of experts say that if you want to loose weight, eat twice as often, and half as much. Six small meals a day is great if you have the time, you have a baby, it's hard. Get more active, a body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest. The more often you move and exercise more often, it gets easier and easier. DON'T GO ON A STUPID DIET. Just try to take the weight of slowly, that's how to keep it off. I know you don't like you body right now, but s*x is a great exercise!!!!!

You have a great supportive husband, I bet he would love to work out with you, nothing like getting sweaty together to work up a sexual appetite.

Maybe watch that show "how to look good naked" ? I like it

Answer 4

It's because he loves you.  My ex was heavy, and I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.  Then she cheated on me and got pregnant while we were still married.  Now - she looks the same physically but my perception of her is totally different.

My point is that your husband loves you unconditionally.  You are truly the most beautiful woman in the world to him.  Even more so now that you've given him the greatest gift a woman can give to a man.

If you're still feeling insecure, talk it over with your husband and ask him the same question, rather than asking a bunch of strangers.  If that doesn't help, talk to your doctor.  You may have post-partum or something.

Answer 5

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

If he tells you you are beautiful, he means it!

He loves all of you, even the extra weight...and remember those awful stretchmarks are from you carrying his baby!

You are important to him, he loves you for you, not your body, it is just a shell!              

Answer 6

look it's the inside that really counts but if you want to lose weight you should really order an exercise tape called turbo jam !! but you should learn how to make yourself feel good because if you don't love yourself how can you expect someone to love you  

Answer 7

You are a very fortunate woman to have a husband who still finds you attractive.  Since you don't feel good about yourself just tell him and go to a gym or start a diet and exercise program and get his support while you are doing it.  Embrace the fact he still finds you attractive...it isn't all about how you look so he is obviously not a shallow person and loves you for you.  You just have to work on losing the weight you gained during pregnancy to feel good about yourself.  I think you are a lucky woman to have such a man in your life who doesn't make you feel  unattractive simply because you have gained weight, however, you need to feel good about yourself again so do something about it.

Answer 8

it's called self confidence and to be honest if your hubby tells you are beautiful, believe him.  but YOU are the one who has to believe it.  

Answer 9

Well, you have to work at it. My husband tells me I'm pretty at the weirdest times-- when I first wake up in the mornings and my hair is all messed up and I don't have makeup, the other day we were hiking and I was all sweaty and dirty and he told me I was "gorgeous". So, I think your hubby is being very sweet (and honest). He loves YOU-- he doesn't care what size jeans you wear.

It's 100000% normal to gain weight during pregnancy. You just need to eat healthy and work out. Even going for a walk after dinner can help a lot. And like I said, work with what you've got. Fitness isn't a destination, it's a journey. Love yourself every step of the way. Why not get a haircut, fix your makeup, and get some pretty lingerie. If you feel pretty/s**y, you'll come off as s**y. Self esteem is beautiful. I can say from personal experience that when I stopped being self conscious and started believing my husband when he complimented me, s*x got a looooot better! Good luck!

Answer 10

Well, if things about your body bother you that much the only thing you can really do is make up your mind to either accept yourself the way your are or to change it. If you want to get back into shape, then do it! Walk that baby around the block in the stroller when the weather's nice, get yourself some tae-bo videos, go on a diet. Look for skin creams to help you out; some can tighten up your skin and help fade stretch marks. You can do workouts to tone up and firm your droopy parts. Take vitamins and drink plenty of water. Oh, and be sure to take nice long bubble baths with bath salts and stuff like that, do your makeup, paint your nails, get your hair done. It'll make you feel pretty!  

Answer 11

The best way to change how you feel is to take care of yourself. work out, eat healthy, pamper yourself. Make sure you take care of yourself in the hygiene department as well. Keep yourself clean, wear your usual make-up, find lotions and perfumes you love and wear them, take care of your nails. And find clothes that fit you well. Spend enough money to find a decent bra that lifts and supports you. (You don't have to take everything off during s*x, you know. You might feel sexier to keep alittle on, and you'll feel it looks better too.) If you take better care of yourself you'll start losing weight and start feeling better about yourself. You need to believe him when he says he still finds you s**y. You need to find it too. And find creams or lotions to help with your stretch marks. If you do everything you can to take care of yourself then you don't have to feel so bad. You may find that the better you care for your body the better you feel. and the better you feel the more attractive you'll be. It's pretty normal to feel the way you do, but don't give up on yourself! You can do it!

Answer 12

Hes telling you that you are beautiful, just believe in him! lack of confidence is not s**y! hes telling you how he feels, now you have to portray that inside and out! having a baby is a beautiful thing..dont look at it as if it has messed your body up! embrace your new body!  

Answer 13

after i had my daughter i was huge even till she was a year old i still had some extra pounds that i could have lived with out. try not to focus so much on how you feel when trying to please him, but more about what turns him on, seeing him excited might relax you to feeling comfortable. you need to jump start those sparks if you ever want your relationship to further its self. get some boy shorts and a new bra that you feel s**y in even if you are not pleased with your current weight, this will go in time, and as far as the breast feeding the girls wont be as perky as they once were but if you get some s**y tops and under wire bras you can still look like a bomb shell  

Answer 14

It's in you head not his. I had the same problem. I was 120lbs and you could bounce a quarter of of any part of my body. That is to say I was fit and toned. 13 years later I am 40lbs heavier and so out of shape, I couldn't run 50yards if someone was chasing me for my money.

My husband is the greatest, he is still attracted to me and still chases me around the house. I decided I must not look too bad if he still wants me that bad. Tell yourself he loves you for you. When you're loved for who you are those little faults are invisible.