Jacqui Smith urges us to "have a ago" Do you think Health and Safety will train me to kick a burglar to death?

Question

People have been suing because they haven't been "trained" to use a step-ladder!

How can the Home Secretary ask us to "Have a go" at criminals when we haven't been trained ?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/pressass/20080718/tuk-public-urged-to-take-stand-on-crime-6323e80.html

If anyone objects to the expression "Kick to death" always remember "A wounded burglar can kill you; a dead one can't!"

Answer 1

Just make sure you're wearing your Harriet Harman approved stab-proof vest before tackling any intruders on your property.

It may also be prudent (sic) to contact your local health and safety officer to make sure your house is actually safe for any would-be intruders to try and burgle without fear of catching themselves on any potential hazards that they may sue you for.

You might also want to consider the fact that anyone burgling your house may be a different ethnic persuasion to your own so you should ensure that all food sources containg pork are stored in a secure place, and that an alternative non-discriminatory food source is available. A vegetarian option for vegan burglars must be readily accessible.

You must also ensure that no smoking signs are displayed at entry points to your home to comply with current regulations. If any burglar in your home decides to light up, then it is your duty to ensure they immediately extinguish their cigar/cigarette or you will be liable to be fined for allowing smoking in a public area.

Lastly, it is your duty as an upright citizen of the UK to NOT report your burglary to the Police as this will place increased pressure on our law enforcers who are far too busy chasing down speeding drivers with Polish number plates and may result in any future calls being placed in a queue for all taxpaying crackpotswho actually think their taxes pay for a decent Police service.

You're 'avin' a laugh, intcha?

Answer 2

I pay towards a Police Force so that I will not have to. Will she kindly increase their numbers in proportion to the crime stats today please?.

And will she allow me to carry the same weapons as the Criminal that I am supposed to have a go at?.

Answer 3

I would love to "have a go " at the biggest criminals in this country ------ No! not the immigrants no not the hoodies not even the laddettes and knife wielding young but the members of the House of Commons  and the  House of Lords these are the biggest criminals in our country today.They promised when elected to make our country Great what they have actually done is sold our country and sent it into the toilet. Education Crime Health etc etc are all in the worst possible state.They are threatening now the poor and elderly they will take away their welfare the Labour government have always said it is the party of the poor and working class this is a lie they are Tories in New Labour clothing the sooner we get rid of them the better I am sorry because I really believed in Gordon Browne but maybe he has had the worst people behind him most of them are liars and crooks.

Answer 4

What sort of boots did she suggest wearing?  Surely, she did not mean barefoot in the middle of the night.  May I suggest one consider a weapon of some sort.  Fireplace poker, ball bat, golf club, or something else more likely to do harm to the intruder than to oneself.

Answer 5

Quite a few people have recently found themselves on the WRONG side of the law by `having a go`, will she amend this ?

Answer 6

Doesn't her advice contradict that being given out by the police not to get involved? I'm sure the police must be really overjoyed to her what she's saying. Yet another foot in mouth incident I fear.

Answer 7

A difficult question. Intervene? An act of courage and solidarity? Instinctively, yes. Even if you’re a teenager?  Tricky. You could do more harm than good, especially to yourself. “Call the cops”, is the best reaction. “Kick a felon to death?” tempting, tempting, but there again the US is all for “self justice”, and look where that has got them. Tricky, even if I adhere to the squad of “shooting first possibily in the air….but who’se to say I have a good aim (except my Marksmanship record) and asking questions later”.

Answer 8

Well if Jacqui Smith sends me a stab vest and any other protective clothing I will then sit in my house with a gun and shoot them as they come through the door.... is that OK Jacqui ? You idiot ! tell me what if I am surrounded with a gang of them... have a machine gun instead.. !!