Japanese side of the family hates me!?

Question

ok im japanese (mother) black,guyanese decent (father). i turned out with many noticeable asian features http://www.myspace.com/sheila_sheen39021.

over the summer i went to tokyo for a family reunion along with my fathers south african relatives all of whom are considered "light skinned' because of thier guyanese decent. anyway when i was in tokyo i got many looks from relatives especially my japanese grandparents who are very traditional (they almost didnt accept my mother after she married my father) they always talk in japanese saying how dark i am compared to my mother (who is pale) and father (who has yellow-brown skin). they think i dont understand what they are saying my mother taught me to speak some japanese fluently, but anyway i always get rude comments from my japanese side of the family like u look asian but youre too dark, why dont you have yellow-brown skin like your father?, youre an embarrassment to this family, mutt, what are you exactly?, i could go on and on. it seems like my african side of the family doesnt care about my background i guess cuz theyre mixed themselves and my asian side isnt used to seeing mixed peoples. idk ive put up with it for 17 years and im tired of it and i would like to tell my family that...but i dont think it will make a difference.

Answer 1

ok, for startes, the gurl who said "for a mixed girl you are very pretty". you ARE pretty regaurdless of racial make up.. secondly. i kno how it is!!! my native side is mad cuz im half colombian!!! dont wory about it.. they'll come to terms with it eventualy.. because en the end, youre still family and im sure they all still love u

Answer 2

i think you're right in that it won't make a difference. for totally different reasons i have little do with my father's family and far less to do with him. but anyway you can't pick your family so just stick with the ones that want you around.

Answer 3

I personally can't really relate to you personally, but I think that you should definitely just hold your head up high and be proud of what you are. I mean, your nationalities mixed like that sounds very exotic, in my opinion. I think that whenever people talk like that about you behind your back, you must respond to them in Japanese and tell them that you can understand them and that you are dark because the darker genes in you are dominant. I mean, its silly for critisizing you about that, technically by them wondering why you came out dark, that would be technically insulting themselves, because that would mean that their own race wasn't as dominant in you as it could have been. Just don't mind them and be happy with who you are. And if you ask me, being mixed turned out to be very good for you. When I saw your picture I was like WHOA! You're really pretty, so I think that you should definitely not worry so much about such things. If you are content and satisfied that is all that matters and you should remember that no one can bring you down unless you let them. I hope that everything goes well with you.

Answer 4

Lots of asian people hate black people:

1.Some are scared of us

2.Some think we're only good for sports

3.Some think we're stupid

Most Asian parents believe all of the above

Answer 5

who needs them anyway,  

Answer 6

japanese ppl arent used to seeing dark skinned ppl they just arent used to it. just be proud and dont let the snide remarks hurt your self esteem. you are very pretty and just be nice to them cuz they are your fam just act like i know im dark i get it from my dad or the darker the berry the sweater the juice.lol. good luck.  

Answer 7

I can say for a mixed girl you are very pretty. and japanese people hate mixing they like to keep their race pure, if they hate you then just ignore them

Answer 8

i think your family should accept you for who you are, and you are very pretty!!  : )

Answer 9

I am sorry to hear this. I married a Japanese and I worried about his family accepting me.

Yes, Japanese tend to be light and they love pale skin. I have seen few dark Japanese women and they are usually rude and mean (especially one I graduated with, she thought she was the s**z).

I know it hurts, but if you pretend it doesn't bother you, then you will be the better person. Some parents purposely do this to their children because they know they will be teased, so they want their children to be strong. I know Asian girls that their mothers always tell them they are ugly, when they are beautiful, so when a jealous girl calls them ugly, they aren't hurt.

Would you rather them build up your ego so when a Japanese man says you are too dark or too ugly for him, you are hurt? I was teased by my mother and sisters for being pale, but in fact I like it now because I have an easier time in America than they do.

You're beautiful, nothing is wrong with you. Don't worry about pleasing them.

Answer 10

if your parents are present they should have the guts to stand up to your racist kin. japanese are known for their cold attitude to anyone or anything foreign. if possible stay home and ignore them.