Jealous friend troubles....?

Question

I'm friends with this girl, and it seems like she can't handle the fact that I have other friends. Especially since I'm best friends with her brother, whom I've known for eight years. (I've only known her for one.)

She used to have this other friend who would ditch her and lie to her, and my friend (lets call her *Ally) would talk to me about it, and I would always side with Ally. But I'm finally understanding why her friend would need a break...

She used to be anorexic and I would talk about that with her, but it always made us fight, so we stopped talking about it. She has since stopped being anorexic, but she still talks about her weight non stop, complains about eating, and cries if she gains one pound.

I talk on the phone to lots of people, but whenever she would text me and I would tell her I was on the phone, she would get mad, and say she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She would then mention the fact that I was on the phone with other people, for days, sometimes crying just to make me feel bad. (It stopped working after the first few times)

She hates a lot of my best friends, and I didn't really mind that much, until she started dissing them right to my face, and would get mad at me when I would say something like "Thats my friend! Don't say that about her!"

She changes her words around a lot, and when I get mad about her saying something mean, she would get mad and say that "She didn't mean it like that."

Any advice?

Answer 1

Call a shrink.

Actually, if she insults one of your friends, just say that it's your friend.  If she rants about all the negatives in your friend, say all the positive things in her.  Tell her to stop being so pessimistic.

But seriously, a shrink wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Answer 2

I think this person needs a good friend. Shes obviously insecure because she has been lied to and messed around a lot. Obviously she is clingy. It's hard to blame her when others have been cruel to her, I know all to well what lies can do to a person. HOWEVER, she is acting out of line. It's not fair of her to guilt trip you and make you feel bad. She has to accept that you are not her only friend. Maybe you should write her a letter and let her know how you feel? It might be easier than talking to her face to face. Or maybe you could tell her brother and have him broach the subject?

You can't carry on being hassled by this girl, but also i do feel for her. She is jealous quite clearly. Prehaps you could set aside a day where the two of you meet up- just you and her? Like maybe you could have a girly shopping day/makeover day/coffee shop day...that sort of thing. Maybe if you dedicate a day a week to her, she will feel more special, and will ease off of you and stop being so jealous. You should try to introduce her to other people too so se has more friends and wont bother you so much. If you start to think of her as a burden or chore though, it wont be any good, and the friendship will be doomed.

You and her obviously had some common ground in the first place, so maybe you can spark that up again with the days out? Its important to realise shes probably not having such a great time. Be nice to her, she should be nice  back. If she isn't shes not much of a friend.

Good luck