Jealous of Pregnant Friend ?

Question

I feel horrible about this, But I am jealous of my pregnant friends. My Husband and I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. I have PCOS. 4 of my friends have just gotten pregnant. They are not married, they live with their parents, and they still have part time jobs! I am married (3 years) own our home, and my husband and I both have great jobs. Now they are pregnant, and one of them even asked me if they could have my crib and bedding set! I am so jealous that I cannot even speak with them in person! Is this normal? I really don't want to feel this way, but I can't help myself! I have tried going out with them separately, but I still get jealous. I have never been the jealous type before, always saying that God has a different plan for me, but now I want my baby! What can I do?

Answer 1

It is only human to feel jealous at times. You have struggle for two years to have a baby. You have to sit and watch all your friends have babies, which is very hard. If your close to them I would tell the how you feel. They may not understand what you two are going through.

As to a friend wanting to use your crib and bedding. You obviously bought it for yourself and you shouldn't have to feel obligated to loan it to a friend. She could have her own shower to recieve one.

I am not sure what PCOS is, but hope there is still a chance that you will concieve. Good luck in everything you do.

Answer 2

that's odd

Answer 3

What you are feeling is very normal indeed , and at times life seems so unfair and it is . Don`t give up hope , hold on to it but don`t try too hard either , its soul destroying . Why not book a holiday with your husband and try to forget about babies for a while , you may get a surprise ! It is true you can try too hard , it just causes stress on your body each time you have a period you become "depressed" again . Give your brain a rest and see what happens x

I wish you all the luck in the world .

Your friend who asked for your crib and bedding needs a slap ! Sorry , how insensitive can a person be !

Answer 4

Don't get jealous you hang in there it will be ok I have PCOS to did you ask your obgyn about Clomid ? I can't believe she asked you for the baby stuff that is rude! she knows your trying to have a baby yourself

I wouldn't get jealous because that will just get you all upset and it's hard to conceive when your upset!

goodluck

Answer 5

I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! My husband and I have been trying for almost two years and I can't get pregnant. Everyone seems to get pregnant when they aren't ready...especially 14,15,16 yr. olds! It's ridiculous.

Try NOT to think about it because it will come when you least expect it. Or, why don't have get in-vitro?

Answer 6

I wouldn't feel horrible, I would be jealous too if I were you!

I think the "friend" of yours who asked to borrow your crib and bedding is way out of line. I would say no to that one.

I know it must be very emotional for you, but your time to be a mother will come! The very best of luck to you!

Answer 7

Hi honey

please dont feel jealous: your time will come.  I know you might have heard this a number of times but trust me, just stop trying and keep your expectations low.  That way you wont get disappointed.  Whatever you do dont lose faith that you too will become a mother someday.  Maybe God is testing your patience

if not today then tomorrow.  if not tomorrow then in a few weeks time.  Just need time thats all.  Everything has its time and place

and if you cannot get pregnant, please consider the beautiful act of adopting a baby.  Maybe that's what God has in mind for you.

you might be asking 'why me?'.  but would you ask 'why me' if you were pregnant??  We cannot change destiny. Just have faith.  

Answer 8

My husband and I had exactly the same problem. I had no idea how to stop being jealous. I'm not a jealous person, never was, but this was getting to me too. We have been married for 3 years trying for 2. He has a great job and we have our own place. All of our friends still live with their parents and most of them don't have a job. I have 2 friends that are pregnant right now. One of them actually lived with my husband and I earlier in her pregnancy (that was sooo hard to do). I am very happy for my friends and their new baby's but it was still hard. I felt horrible also for feeling that way towards my friends because I love my friends. I had stopped worrying about it for a while now by not trying to get pregnant anymore. I decided instead of to keep living like this I would go and get some help with the problem. I called my local infertility clinic and made and appointment. I didn't go yet but lately I noticed that I am less worried about me getting pregnant and more focused on what the doctor is going to tell me to help my husband and I conceive. It's alot easier knowing you have someone trying everything they can to help you conceive.  

Answer 9

I was in the exact same situation!! Both of my best friend's were pregnant a few years ago with their boyfriends and my husband and I had been married and trying for 5 years. My advice to you is to not be jealous. Your baby WILL come in due time. Once I stopped being jealous and asking myself "why not me" it seemed I got pregnant not too long after. Stressing out about it may make it harder for you to conceive. Just keep trying with your husband and be happy for your friends. God does have a plan for you. Just have faith. :)

-EllyHandy418

Answer 10

It's totally normal to feel jealous of people who are pregnant, when you haven't been able to get pregnant yourself.  I went through that myself...we tried four years before our first child was conceived.  During that time lots of the young, unmarried girls who worked for me got pregnant.  Some of them kept the babies, and others had abortions.  It seemed really unfair.

I can't believe one of them asked you for your crib and bedding set...that was TACKY and insensitive too.

I'll tell you one thing, though...I bet your friends are jealous of you too.  You have your own home, own husband and a real job.  They're about to be that stereotype, a single mom living with her parents.  Not only that, but a baby's a lot of work and they're going to have to do it all alone.  So they're probably wishing they'd done things in the normal order...love, marriage and then the baby.

Try not to stress out too much.  You'll be a mom eventually, probably when you start to give up is when it will happen, and be a big surprise.

Answer 11

God I am so sorry for you.  One of my best friends got married last year and unfortunately had a miscarriage in December and hasn't been able to get pregnant again and another friend has been trying for a year.  My boyfriend and I stopped birth control at the end of April and were pregnant by May.  A bit early in our plans but the baby is very wanted.

I find it very difficult to talk to these 2 friends in particular about it because I know how desperate they are for children and I can see them thinking - its not fair, she's not even married.  And I feel guilty and about talking about the progression of my pregnancy because they are not pregnant as well!

Its so hard.  I can totally understand you being jealous.  Maybe it would help if you told them this as you also don't know how they might be feeling.  Unfortunately life is not fair and babies are distributed rather unevenly sometimes....

Absolute best wishes and the very best of luck and I hope you are blessed with a child soon.