Jealous of daughter?

Question

Is it natural to be jealous of your own daughter because your husband showers her with attention?

Obviously this is a joking kind of jealousy but sometimes I feel it, especially since my own father was never affectionate with me.

My daughter just turned 2 years old and my husband is completely and totally in love with her. :)

Anyone else ever feel this way?

Answer 1

Well, I've never felt that way, but I can understand why you would.  But actually, I don't think it's your daughter that you're jealous of.  It's the father-daughter relationship you're jealous of, because it's something you always longed for and never had.  Even if your husband showered you with the same kind of attention he gives your daughter, it wouldn't fulfill that need, because it's not coming from your father.  Your relationship with your husband, and his relationship with your daughter, are two very separate and different things.  Neither one will affect the other, nor will it change your feelings about your childhood relationship with your dad.  So instead of focusing on what you don't have (or didn't have), try to focus on what you do have... the potential to have wonderful relationships with your husband and daughter, each in their own unique way.

Answer 2

I felt like that -my x-husband paid no attention to me, but adored the baby.... brought her gifts, but not for me....

I was happy for her, but made me feel unloved - It was more that he was not meeting my needs or giving me attention.

My new hubby puts me first, gives me tons of attention and gives the kids lots of attention as well - I love seeing him play with kids, and I always know I am #1.

Point being - I think the jelousy is based on your needs being neglected - Maybe you can tell him you need more attention and it makes you feel unloved when he just comes home, ignores you and plays with baby...... If he cares, he'll make an effort to pay more attention to you.

Answer 3

I'm a father of 4 grown children..2 daughters and 2 sons.....compliment him when he showers your daughter with praise/attention....he married you.......he's doing what comes naturally when he loves his daughter.......he's building her self esteem and a lovely girl...

Answer 4

I thought you said your husband showers with her, for a second there.

Answer 5

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN  DADDY'S & LITTLE GIRLS,  AND MOMMIES & SON'S,    BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT CLOSE TO YOUR DAD,  YOU NOW FEEL RESENTMENT.

Answer 6

Just make sure you make time for your relationship with your husband and dont let resentments fester

Be aware of any hang ups (or big problems) your parents left you with- having  young child can bring these issues to the fore and you may find it the time to deal with them properly.

Yes it is normal- fathers often get jealous of the time mothers spend with their kids- but it is normal surely that parents prioritise their kids? the kids are the ones that need parents!

Answer 7

It's probably normal, just don't act on it or let it become a serious problem. Be glad that your husband treats her well cuz I speak from experience of having a father who was not affectionate or loving.

Answer 8

I can understand why you feel the way you do...but see it for what it is.  As long as your husband doesn't neglect giving you your amount of affection and attention, it shouldn't become a problem.  Be happy he has this bond with your daughter.  Mother and daughter relationships are a whole different ball game and there is no comparison.