Jealousy...? ?

Question

So I have a typical relationship problem with my boyfriend and that is that I am envious of my boyfriend spending time with his friends (they're mostly female). I mean, i can understand why people want to be around him: he's a great friend, intelligent, funny, cute and he is able to appreciate everyone he meets but I just get SO envious when he calls some of his close female friends his "sisters" and also when he goes out with them places. This makes me feel as if my bf has the same love for me as he does for all of those girls even though he has told me otherwise when I mentioned my feelings to him.

So would you feel the same way if you were in this situation? Also, how can I become "jealous-free"?? lol

Answer 1

Jealousy is a mental cancer!

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved.  You will always think it's a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.  Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.  Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.  ~Jennifer James

Answer 2

Jealousy, most of us feel it at some time or other. Some people experience it more strongly than others and some even let jealousy consume them. Sometimes the feeling is justified and at other times it isn't. It's an ugly emotion, both for the one feeling it and for the person at the other end. If you are in a relationship with someone who is very jealous, you find that along with the jealousy usually comes control. When someone is extremely jealous they tend to want to control what you do, where you go, and who you see. What you want to think about is, every time he goes to hang out with his friends, every time you feel doubt, just breathe and say in your head, "Hes just hanging out with his friends nothing more". See, now if he truly loves you, that statement will be totally true. Like I always say, if someone breaks up with you, he/she isnt worth crying over, because if they WERE worth crying over, they wouldnt make you cry.

Answer 3

I WOULD DEFERNITLY BE LIKE U IF MY MAN HAD ALOT OF  GIRLS AS GIRLFRIENDS...IT WILL BE BETTER IF U TELL YOUR FEELINGS TO HIM,BECAUSE JEALOUSY CAN BREAK A LOVELY RELATIONSHIP....

TALK TO HIM ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS SO THAT THE BOTH OF U WILL BE ON THE RIGHT PATH & NONE OF U WILL GET INTO A FIGHT IF ANYTHING IS TO HAPPEN AT ANYTIME.....

BE OPEN TO HIM 7 THERE IS NO WAY NOT TO BE JEALOUS FREE UNLESS U STOP SUSPECTING THT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN THE BOTH OF U......

Answer 4

I would not feel the same way.  He's calling them sisters, not his harem of s*x buddies.  That implies that his love is not the same as yours; if you have sexual feelings toward your sister, you've got some serious issues.

My recommendation would be to tag along on one of these nights so you can meet these girls and view their relationship first hand.  You don't need to go out every night that he does, but once or twice shouldn't hurt.  Let him know that this will make you feel better.  He should be perfectly fine with it.

Jealousy stems from lack of self-confidence (you think these girls are better than you and he'd rather be with them) or lack of trust (you think he's sleeping with these girls).  Figure out which of the two applies and work on fixing that.