Joke question?????????

Question

does anyone know anygood saying things like how people say

Guys are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

does anyone know any funny things like that XD? thnx

Answer 1

Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, and most of them stink. =]

Answer 2

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Sometimes i wonder... why is the frisbee getting bigger? and then it hits me...

i dont know what my problem is but ill bet its hard to pronounce

Were friends. You laugh, i laugh. You cry, i cry. You jump off a bridge, im gonna miss you.

i had a life, but my job ate it

Yes. You have the right to remain silent. But i have the right to think you are stupid

Silence is golden, but ducktape is silver

There's too much blood in my alcohol system

You think im sarcastic? watch me pretend to care.

Violence is no the answer. It is, however, an excellent temporary solution.

If at first you dont succeed then sky-diving isnt for you.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*****

I hear voices. and they dont like you

I dream of a day where chickens can cross the road without their motives questioned.

i hope you laughed :D

Answer 3

^.. its not funny... =(

I know but i cant remember.. sorry... =(

Answer 4

everyday is a chance for a restart

Answer 5

Guys are like tissues - strong, soft and disposable.

Guys are like lava lamps. Pretty to look at but not too bright

Guys are like slinkies... good to play with for a while but then its just fun watching them fall down the stairs.

No, I haven't met Mr. Right but I have met Mr. Cheap, Mr. Cocky, Mr Rude...

I have PMS and a gun. Now what were you saying?

Guys are like... Beanie babies. They're cheap, their heads are full of stuffing, and the really cute ones are hard to find.

Guys are like slinkies... good to play with for a while but then its just fun watching them fall down the stairs.

Guys are like... Clowns. A few are cute and funny, but most are just creepy.

Guys are like stilettos... Once you get the hang of it you can walk all over them.

Guys are like tiles… if you lay them well the first time you can walk all over them for the rest of your life

Guys are like... Copiers. You need them for reproduction but that's about it.

Chocolate, coffee, men... some things are better rich...

If we can put one man on the moon, then WHY can't we put all of them there?

The more guys I get to know the more I like dogs.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing jell-O to a tree for instance

Your place or mine? ...both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine.

Is this seat empty? ...yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hey, what's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Man: "I can tell that you want me."

Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "What sign were you born under?"

Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:

Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

You can not strip in class. (Hooters pays more)

You can not think about having s*x. (As Nike says - Just Do It)

Answer 6

that's messed up i'm single and i'm handicapped :(

Answer 7

What's the difference between a girl from Nevada and

a parrot? You can teach a parrot to say no.

What impulse makes a man chase a woman that he has no interest in marrying?

The same one that makes a dog chase a car that he has no intention of driving...

Answer 8

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.  

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The road to success is always under construction.

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

LOL..i hope i get best answer :)

Answer 9

doing it with a ugly girl is like riding a scooter,you play with it but you don't want to admit it.

Answer 10

A journey of a thousand steps begin with one.