Jokes Please? Anyone?? Jokes?

Question

Jokes Please? Anyone?? Jokes?

Answer 1

hello

Answer 2

Three men went to h**l.

The devil said to them "You have come to h**l, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"

He then opened the doors to the three rooms.

Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.

Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.

Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in c**p up to their knees and drinking coffee.

The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.

They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."

Answer 3

This horse walks into a bar.  The bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?"

Answer 4

hmmmm

Answer 5

I made it up so....(it took me 2 min)

a mom goes to the police with her child to find her missing husband

mom -sir im trying to find my husband

officer -discriptions?

mom -well he has brown hair,stronge muscles,abs,good looking jaw,grey eyes...(all hot discriptions)

boy -mom thats not how dad looks like!!!

mom -shut up son

Answer 6

   The Magician and the Parrot

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, "It's in his sleeve!"

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, "It's in his pocket!"

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, "I give up, what'd you do with the ship?"

Answer 7

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

go check these out, and let me know.

Answer 8

There was a man named Mr. Hideous. He used to have a wife named Mrs. Hideous. One day, an elf came by and saw the sign 'Home Sweet Home of Mr. and Mrs. Hideous. So then, the elf found a piece of wood, carved it, and then replaced it. So, stop by the North Pole some day and say hi to Mr. and Mrs. Claus.  

Answer 9

a chinese man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where did you get him from?"

the parrot says "china"

Answer 10

During a visit to the

mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you

determine whether or

not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we

fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,

a teacup and a bucket to the

patient and ask him or her to empty the

bathtub."

"Oh, I understand,"

said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket

because it's bigger

than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person

would pull the plug. Do you want a

bed near the window?"

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so there was a murder. 3 guys unable to speak english were found right by the scene. guy#1 could only say "forks and spoons forks and spoons". guy #2 could only say " goody-goody gumdrops". and guy#3 could only say "plug it in plug it in".

so the police started to quesion the suspects and he started with guy #1. he said to #1 "what did u use to kill this guy" and guy #1 said "forks and spoons forks and spoons"

he went to #2 and said, " do u know that u can go to jail for this" and guy #2 said "goody-goody gumdrops"

he finally went to #3 and said, " u can be put in the electric chair." and #3 said " plug it in plug it in.