Judgmental of teen parents...?

Question

I'm an 18 years old and the mother of a 9 month old. My question is why do people tend to think that ALL teen parents are irresponsible? When I take my daughter to the grocery store I get all kinds of dirty looks. I know that some young mothers are irresponsible and have no business raising a child but myself and my husband are very mature for our ages. We have our own apartment, and my husband works very hard for his family so I'm able to be a stay at home mom. I'm starting college classes in the fall and it just breaks my heart when I hear people whispering about me. Why are people so judgmental?

Answer 1

what ever people think block it out of your head because people are just made that they cant get some at a young age and because ur probibly still hot even after pregnancy so just ****** all of them  their just jelous

Answer 2

don't think about others just see what u can do for urself

Answer 3

Probably because becoming pregnant at the age of 16 is pretty irresponsible.

I'm sorry that extends to you, and many young women grow up in  a hurry when the child is born, but, honestly, no matter how you slice it, most people are going to think that the situation in the first place, was caused by irresponsibility.

Answer 4

I think people are so judgmental because a lot of young mothers are, unfortunately, bad ones. I got pregnant when I was 18, had my daughter at 19 and was married as well. I never got bad looks because I never looked for people giving me bad looks. I am a full time student and stay at home with my daughter while my husband works very hard for us as well. We have out house and out little family and we are all that matters. When you see people whispering, continue doing your shopping honey because you are going to have people whispering about you everywhere you go whether its about you being a young mother or how someone loves your hair color. Maybe people are whispering about how beautiful your baby is. My daughter is 8 months old and I have had TONS and TONS of people come up to me asking me questions about her and this and that. I welcome anyone who wants to love me or judge me either way because I know I am responsible and that is all that matters. Keep your head up high and fight the best you can for your family because divorce rates are high and it takes a lot for a young family to make it. I am 20 now and my husband and I have been through a lot, but we are trying to conceive our second child. Good luck to you and hold your head up high gorgeous because there are people that would kill to see you fall.

Answer 5

girl dont worry about that c**p.  i am 27 with 2 children.  i get people acting stank towards me because im not married to their father.  just enjoy your baby and be thankful that you have a husband that loves you and still wants you to fulfill your dreams.  dont spend time worrying about what other people think.  enjoy the time you have with your daughter. they grow up way too fast.

Answer 6

People will always be judgemental of something. The reality is that those people in the store don't really know how old you are anyway, they are making assumptions. I went through the same thing when I was pregnant at 20.  I am now 34 with 3 children and I really think that everyone a little judgemental in their own way, good and bad. People are who they are, try not to let it bother you. You know you're a good parent.

Answer 7

Because people are too hung up on age, and although you may be a phenominal parent, you're hung up on it as well. You find more discrimination if you're looking for it, and it seems like you are. In some cases it's hard to avoid. I was 18 and married before I got pregnant. When my husband deployed and I moved home I always got looks and questions about my age. I just smiled and answered them. Now that I am getting divorced I do the same thing. Chances are if you stop feeling self conscious about it and let your confidence as a mother shine through you'll see their reactions toward you change.

Answer 8

Because more than likely, they didn't TRY for their baby, which mean they're irresponsible.   Now, that doesn't mean it's BAD, h**l, I didn't try for either of my kids, but I wore protection while I was younger or I didn't have s*x because I knew when the consequences were.

I read your other questions, and YOU do seem like an exception.  You breastfed (most teen moms dont because "it's ewwww") and you didn't get your daughter the chicken pox vaccination!!!  Both good things in my book!

Answer 9

Because people can not accept the fact that a TEEN mom can be better/or equal to an older mom.It just boggles their minds! I was a teen mom...I had my first daughter when I was 17,my second daughter at 20(pregnant at 19) and I am 6 month pregnant with our third baby and I am 21(still will be when I have baby too) and I get all kinds of dirty looks(I do not look like I am 21)

People are scared of change and something that is different and although some teen moms have ruined the image of every teen mother there are still great teen moms out there.

What makes things even more funny is my first daughter was planned,my husband and I are now married...and yes he is the father of all 3 children,and I lost my virginity to him and have only been with him...and yet I still get dirty looks and remarks everywhere I go. I have always put my girls before myself....I still have most fo the clothes that I had before I got pregnant with my 1st daughter(with the exception od new undies and whatnot) and my girls have brand new clothes and stuff.People are so judgemental of anything that is not of their standards  and it will always be like that! They do not know our lives and so they pass judgement merely on what they look at(which is a teen with children)

And I'm sorry to say but after a while of this treatment it gets old rather than heartbreaking and now sometimes(especially on my bad days) I snap back...I will hear some nasty remark when I am in line at the grocery store like "she shouldn't be having kids at that age,I bet she doesn't even take care of em" so more than likely I will turn around and reply "Mind your own business! Where are your kids? At one of the 5 'baby daddys' houses?"

I know I should not do that because I am just stooping to their immature ignorant level but sometimes its hard to take so much of that with a smile on your face.

Just do the best you can and keep your head up...the one thing that pisses people off the most is no retaliation to their stares and remarks....so just take it and keep a smile on yor face and know that you are a great mom and no amount of rude remarks or dirty looks can change that!

Answer 10

I think teen parents are just as capable of raising their children but I get tired of teen mothers asking this question every night!

Answer 11

I wish I knew the answer to this question. People are going to judge, no matter who you are or what your situation is.

I think it is phenomenal that you are doing what sounds like a wonderful job raising your child at such a young age.

It is hard, sweetie, but just try to ignore them.

Good luck starting school in the fall!!

Answer 12

Plain and simple.  People are insecure about their own selves and would rather try to pick apart and tear someone they don't know down rather than to focus on their own demons.  

Those people who do the talking live lives that are far from what they'd consider ideal.....otherwise they would have no need to judge.

Keep strong and don't let those cowards bother you.  Move forward and if you happen to hear the gossip blowing in the air, smile!  For, you know who you are and the love you have within your family that you created!

Answer 13

cuz people are stupid!!! they dont understand... Im sure they lost there virginitys before they were 18 so they could have been in the same situation as u and i... people need to learn how to be open minded

Answer 14

You are an exception.  You don't rely on your parents to pay for the roof over your head and the food in your mouth, as well as your baby's, as many teen mothers do.  It is commendable that you take care of your child by yourself, however, you do realize that most teen mothers are on welfare and/or they are being supported by their parents.  That is why people are judgemental, because their tax dollars are paying for irresponsibility.

Answer 15

it's a tough question,

ignorance in many cases

if they read this most of those bad looks would change for the better

I say look up

yes look up, with an eye on your baby too, and Jesus is the key.

if we let others determine who we are, we will become like them

relax and let their stares become your stars

I pray all the best for your family, David in John 3

new life from above and living in a judgmental world happy

Answer 16

Your neighbours may have alot of problematics teens themselves. You can show them the difference but it is still a big challenge. Just be what you want to be and that's not what other people think of you. Your future is more challenging than other teens so you need alot of support and understanding. Find some support group for you and your kid. Other young mothers and families can be of great help and encouragement if things get rough.

Answer 17

I am an 18 year old mother to a 7.5 month old.  I go to college, work, and take care of my baby.  I live with my baby's father.  I don't care what other people might think because I know the truth and that is all the matters to my baby.  But actually a lot of people tell me how proud they are of me and that I am very strong and have a lot of determintion.

Answer 18

Duty and responsibilities is a piller of a good life. So any one can buildup his/her life from the very first. You are one of them who already become a best mom and best wife. Not only that you also care about your education. I appreciate you go ahead.