Juno (the movie)? What messages in regards to Adoption?

Question

I just saw the movie..I have mixed feelings about some of the messages in it. As it is wildly popular right now, it will have an effect on how others view adoption, teen-moms etc...What does everyone think?

Answer 1

I have not seen the movie, but I can't wait until it's out on video, I'm sure I'll see it then.  I do know what movie you're talking about though.

I'm a birthmom.  I was quite detached throughout my pregnancy, and to be honest with you, you could say I've been detached the entire time.  It makes some people uncomfortable to realize, but not every mom (especially one carrying a baby that is to be adopted) has this 'magical' attatchment to the baby they are carrying.  I knew by about 3 months into my pregnancy that I'd be giving my daughter up for adoption.  In a way, the whole situation started to wind down from there.  I never 'bonded' with her because I knew I wouldn't be keeping her.  I think that's part my personality, and part coping mechanism.   But since I've had two more of my own kids, it's only partly changed.  When I was pregnant with my daughter or my son, I never felt extremely bonded to them, either.  I only really bonded after.  The longer I have them, the stronger that bond gets.  But at birth and right after, although I loved them, it wouldn't have been the end of the world to have lost them.  I know it's odd for some people to try to understand, but it's true- I just want to share my situation because I know I'm not the only one.  

But back to the baby I had that was adopted.  I'm a huge believer in fate.  I honestly believe that she was made for the couple that adopted her.  They could not be more perfect, and I've felt that the whole entire time I've known them.  I was just a 'carrier' for a baby that was meant to be theirs.  They wanted and needed a baby, and I needed parents for a baby I was carrying.  Win-win.  That's also why I don't agree with all this "lost a baby to adoption" mumbo jumbo.  Not all women who give babies up for adoption have 'lost' their babies.  Mine has always been right where she's supposed to be.  Most women choosing adoption choose to give away their babies, knowing fully what they are doing.  

Hope this helps~

*After reading magic pointe shoes' answer, I feel I need to add this- it's not like I was 'cold' to having a baby.  I spent the first three days of her life in the hospital with her, even after her adoptive parents flew in, and I barely slept- that time right after she was born I fed her, I held her, I spent every moment with her- always knowing that she was someone else's.  I also went to see them at the hotel they stayed at while waiting for the whole deal to be finalized.  So you CAN be aware that a baby is someone elses' and still be quite in the present moment, it's not a delusional type of detachment, it's just like you're with someone else's kid.

To me it's somewhat similar to what I think a surrogate mother would go through.  Sure, you're carrying a baby.  But it's not yours.  So you take care of your body, and therefore are taking care of the baby.  You care about the baby, but you aren't going all ga-ga over booties and crib bedding.  Etc, etc.  

(Obviously I don't think being a family is all about genetics.)

**Maybe you're so disturbed because the girl's detachment might make you feel like MAYBE, just maybe you really weren't wanted.  I think some of the bitter people on here are battling with that uncomfortable feeling.  But not all adoptees 'weren't wanted'.  My baby was wanted VERY much.  But just not by me.  She was wanted by her parents.  

I don't mean to be rude.  It's just that the thing that makes me unsympathetic to the people battling with this uncomfortable feeling is that so many blame it on adoption.  But be honest- how many babies out there are honestly planned?  Out of seven, yep, count 'em seven conceptions from my sister and I- only ONE was planned.  And we were on at least one type of birth control during every conception except the planned one.  So not every baby out there was technichally 'wanted'.    That goes for ANY baby, biological or adopted.  But of course, as parents, we love them as much as ever. They are babies, out there to love, why all this commotion over who gets to love them??

Answer 2

I havent seen the movie but after reading comments on here, I wonder if Juno saw herself as a surrogate mother. I think surrogates go through alot and are brave to have a baby for another woman.

Answer 3

I saw this a few days ago, and the impression that I got was

"If you're young, and pregnant, you can place you baby for adoption and go back to 'normal' like it never happened"

I think Juno lacked emotion as well as the parents and Bleeker.  They didn't even consider raising the baby.

The part I have a TON of issues with is the trailer.  It never mentions adoption. I think young pregnant women are going to FLOCK to this movie without knowing what it's about. They might think that placing is easy and easy to "get over".

ETA--------for those who didn't see it.

She didn't chose the place the baby with a "couple"

Answer 4

i think teenagers shouldn't be pregnant in the first place, but the decision that juno makes in the movie is good, and at least she's giving the baby to a couple that will love and care for it.

Answer 5

It gives the impression that people are interchangeable - it's not realistic at all

Answer 6

Usually when it comes to adoption in the media I try to watch it so that I can have a fully informed opinion.  But lately I haven't been able to do that.

What do I think of it without ever going and seeing it? I think I don't ever want to pay to watch that movie outright. I'll wait until it comes on the movie stations and cry my eyes out at home, thank you very much.

All of the previews, reviews and spoilers have me very suspicious of this movie's message. I know I'd end up being a sobbing mess of emotions watching someone else relinquish their baby. It was hard enough living it, let alone watching someone else do it in comedy form. =oP

This blog entry is my favorite entry so far of what I'm suspicious of.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/12/26...

Edit to reply to additional comment:

One coping technique or self coercion that an expectant mother with an adoption plan tends to do is associate their baby as someone else's baby.  Since I cannot speak for birthmothers but only to my own experience, I can tell you that I did that quite a bit.  For example, when I was waiting to be induced the nurse asked if I wanted my son placed on my belly for a moment while they finished up the birth process and then take him to be cleaned off, or would I rather someone else hold him for a moment instead.  I thought it would be too hard to have him on my belly because he wasn't mine.  But thankfully my mother told me that I really wouldn't mind and that later on that moment will make all the difference looking back.  I had no idea that would be the only moment I would have with him before signing the relinquishment papers.  So to an extent I could see why that would be in the plot, but still... even with disconnection to protect myself, it was still one of the most emotional moments of my life.

edit to clarify further:

Sorry Sarah, I think I minimized my thoughts on why I didn't want him placed on my belly.  The adoptive parents were attending the birth and I had no idea that they would want to place the baby on my belly, part of the idea of why I wouldn't want him on my belly stemmed from too hard, and part was wondering why they wouldn't just hand him over to his parents first.  It was their child after all.  Looking back, I realize now how much I bought into being selfless so that the adoptive parents could have the birth be as normal like for them instead of following the process through for my own resolution.  I still don't feel like I'm explaining this right though.  =o(

Answer 7

My only problem with the movie was that she just showed up to Bleeker's house one day about 5 months along and said she was giving it up. I think she should have involved him more and they should have made a really informative decision, the part where hes feeling her belly and shes telling him about how the baby starts kicking whenever she sees him made me think that she would possibly change her mind.

Answer 8

I think it showed that adoption was a decision to be taken too lightly and didn't show the long term effects.

Answer 9

I think it was an excellent movie. I am a teen, and it is now one of my favorite movies :).

Juno and Bleeker knew they had an accident, and they knew as two 16 year olds in high school, they could not raise a baby. Juno made a great decision, giving the baby to a mother who couldn't get pregnant and who really wanted a baby. Juno did not see it as her own baby, but as the other woman's baby. Juno knew from the get-go she wanted to give this baby to this woman, so throughout the pregnancy she had the mentality of the baby being the woman's and not her own. Juno and Bleeker already showed they were irresponsible by getting pregnant, so how responsible could they be raising a child? I'm guessing not very. Juno could have gone and gotten an abortion, but she wanted her accident to be someone else's blessing. Juno did show emotion though. Before and after the baby was born she did cry. I don't think she was necessarily attached to the baby, but after 9 months of carrying the baby around, letting go of it would be a little difficult. Bleeker was there for her after the baby was born, which showed he did care about Juno. In my opinion, they were a cute couple.

So basically, I thought it was a great message. Maybe not the whole getting pregnant as a teen part, but her giving the baby to a woman who was prepared for a baby and not taking the easy way out... great message in my opinion.

Okay, enough rambling on my part :)