Just DEAL ?

Question

I just saw someone answer a TTCer with "so deal"

NO life f**king fair... as I'm sure most people know, but since TTCer's should deal ... people who were raped or molested should be told the same thing right ? People who've watched a relative (parent/child/sibling/cousin) die should be told to deal right ? Children of 9/11 victims should deal ?

I don't think these things but it wasn't the first time I've seen someone tell a person who is trying to conceive "to just deal" ... so i was wondering who else should deal ?

Sean Bell's family ?

The refugees of New Orleans ?

How about the Austrian woman who was kept in the basement for 2 decades ?

Answer 1

The only alternative to dealing with what's already happened in your life is to *not deal* with it, not move on, let yourself wallow in what can't be, instead of 'dealing' with what you've got & making the most of it.  

I hope that I always find a way to 'deal' with whatever life throws me, with humor & optimism.

edit to add: Yes, even people who have faced a tragedy should find a way to accept that & move on.  The only alternative is to let it stop you from growing & living.  Why would you choose that?  Then, the tragedy, bad thing, bad guy wins & you waste your life.

Adding more: My sister's 17yo daughter & 10 month old granddaughter died in a car accident a few years back.  Yes, it is hard to move on.  But, she knows that her daughter would not want her to stop living.  She loved her mom.  So, my sister is working on making the best of the situation.  She's created a foundation that collects toys & distributes them to children's hospitals, in the baby's honor.  This keeps her busy & helps her to celebrate her daughter's life.

Dealing with what life throws you is a good thing.  Certainly better than breaking down, shutting down & feeling sorry for yourself.

Answer 2

I hear you.  People will say some terribly insensitive things.  Having gone through secondary infertility, I totally sympathize.

Answer 3

You have to deal with life- unless you wanna lock yourself in your bedroom crying for decades. Sometimes life IS unfair. Sometimes things won't go the way you ENVISIONED that it would. We all have to deal with stuff. Don't think we don't. Some of us just choose to go about life and try to fix things or make them bearable during rough times and circumstances. if you don't wanna deal with it- then wallow. your choice!

Answer 4

People who respond of any of these forums with "just deal" are only looking for a quick 2 points.  If anyone finds someone constantly doing that couldn't it be considered spaming?