Just Wanted some opinions of my poem...Please?

Question

A Living h**l

My vision is blurry the tears fill my eyes

My ability to love is lost within sighs

Down swoops the hawk and tears out my heart

My sprit in pieces I want to restart

I wish I could love but my life is just lies

My father has left me my mom all alone

Now with the pressure she dies with a moan

Already alone at the age of fourteen

I wish I was dead so we could reconvene

We never were that close and now I bemoan

My life is a hardship I can’t live in this h**l

Sadness overwhelms me it’ll never quell

My body is weak from pain and suffering

I fall to my knees shaking and trembling

Over and done with my soul floats from its shell

Answer 1

If these are your personal true feelings pray for strength. Let go and let God.  It's an alright poem though... Not the type of poem I prefer/usually read, but it's an alright poem.

Answer 2

hey, thats pretty awesome. i used to write poetry somewhat like this- but more depressing

Answer 3

this is a great poem and it is so meaningful . if you have more of them it would be great to look at them

Answer 4

WOW

that is soooo amazing .. such a powerful story ..

i'd love to see what else you could do ..

good luck .. x*x

Answer 5

best poem ever writen !

Answer 6

Hey Buddy, the poem was great. Very touching, but you're not alone. God is watching you, and he's waiting for you to cry out to him.

"If My people, which are called by My name shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and forgive their sin and will heal their lands."

-I Chronicles 7:14

God bless.

Answer 7

well written but a very sad poem...life doesn't have to be that way