Just an opinion? Child Support and Access after 10 years being MIA?

Question

I had my daughter when I was 18, she is 10 years old now. Her biological father and I split up before she was born and now he is back. I think that this will be good for her even though my current husband has been her Dad for 5 years now she has the right to get to know her bio-dad as she called him. She has meet him once and is very interested in getting to know him better but she is afraid of hurting her as she Call's him her "real Dad"'s feels. I also think that since he wants to be in her life he should help out financial but I don't know where to begin just to start paying a fare amount from here on out or should we work something out for the last 10 years? Has anyone ever been through something like this before or have an opinion on what guide lines I should follow for all of this?

Answer 1

I think you should talk to a lawyer about setting up child support payment plan for the "bio-dad".  Explain to the "bio-dad" that he is really going to have to commit if he wants to be part of his daughters life.  Your daughter is young and it would be a shame for her to be hurt if this "bio-dad" decides to leave again in a few months or something.  I would also talk to the lawyer about setting up some visitation rights agreement (maybe supervised).  Start of slow with once a week supervised visits or something...to see how it works out.  

I think that if he now wants to be in her life, he needs to work hard and step up for all the time he missed.  If he is not willing to do these things, I would not let him see your daughter because if it doesn't work, he could end up scarring her emotionally.

Answer 2

first of all get a lawyer and make sure there is a custody arrangement. Then get a child support order in place. More than likely your not gonna get back child support if you did not have a order in place.

Once all this has been done stick to the visitation arrangement and since he popped up out of nowhere I would definitely have these visits supervised for her protection.

Trust no one with your child.

Answer 3

I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO  A LAWYER,CAUSE U SAY HIS RUN ONCE,,HE WILL PROB RUN AGAIN I F HE FINDS OUT U WANT ANY MONEY,,N HE WILL ONLY B HURTING HIS DAUGHTER,,SO U NEED TO TALK TO A LAWYER N  TELL HIM EVERYTHING,,N THE LAWYER WILL GIVE U FREE ADVISE JUST HOPEING TO GET YOUR CASE,,AND I F HE DESIDS TO RUN AT LEAST WERE EVER HE GETS A LIGIT JOB FROM THEY WILL TAKE MONEY OUT OF HIS CK..I F HE SEES HIS GOING TO HAVE TO PAY MAYB HE WILL GROW UP N STOP RUNNING,,,PEACE

Answer 4

WOW! I am in a similar situation, so I'll pipe in here. My daughter is 11, and her biological father hasn't seen her since she was 4 years old. But the difference with us was, child support was enacted from the beginning. He never paid, and owes over $65,000, and thats why he's MIA. He lives in another state now, and hasn't tried to contact me in a year or so. When I last talked to him, he wanted to talk to his daughter, but I wouldn't let him because I didn't want her to have to hear his many sorry excuses for not being around in 7 years. I told him that he could write to her if he wanted to, and he did once, but my daughter had no interest in getting to know this 'stranger' so she never wrote him back.

I don't know what guidelines you should follow, because every situation is different, but I would follow your daughter's lead. If she wants to talk to him and/or get to know him, you should let her, but take it really really slow. Maybe start with phone calls or letters, and see what she thinks. The thing that bothers me is if her biological father hasn't been around in so long, what is there to guarantee he won't split again? You surely don't need him messing with her head. Make him prove himself worthy!

I would try to enforce child support. Get in touch with Friend of the Court. Its totally up to you if you want them to go back to the day she was born, or if you want it to start with today. I made the mistake of wiping away $6000 that was owed when my daughter was 1 or 2 in because I felt sorry for him, and wanted him to start fresh. Well, he never paid a cent, and like I said, he's living halfway across the country now doing his own thing. I wish you all the best of luck!

Answer 5

The court will order him to pay support starting that day of the court order. There is not back support, since it has not ever been ordered.  I

Here in Illinois, it is 22 or 23% or around there somewhere.  They take it right out of the Dad's pay before he ever sees it.