Just be happy?

Question

you and me

are going in circles

and this world is so small

with all its hours and days

concider yourself lucky

if time brought you to

its front seat

and made you smile

if you where the first

or if you where last

no matter how

the road gets long

still it must end

in the blink of an eye

when the last petal falls

why are you calculating for it ...

every body is leaving it

every body is getting lost

in the crawds

time would still be

going in circles

and taking away

every love we found joy with

and every word of wisdom

no matter how long we live

nobody takes any thing

and the world would still be

going in circles

wonding hearts along its way

what could we do ,you and me

before eternal lonelyness

except make a lovely memory

of a smile together we share

*keep smilling

Answer 1

this was veryyyy veryy good. have you ever thought of publishing anything? I think you should go for it, i got a little lost and confused and some points, but i think alot of people would appreciate it.

Answer 2

Very nice poem. Most of all it is true.

I liked how it grasped my attention right off the bat.

Answer 3

Just be happy:

This is a powerful poem

it talks about what life would bring out

for example In a small world

going in circles

with all the hours and days

Consider yourself lucky and be happy

If time gaves you less but you were satisfied

If you finished first or last dont worry

you did your best just be happy

you have someone special

and memories to share with

along with each other

that is all you need so just be happy

Answer 4

First let me say, that is a Powerful Poem full of true Passion.

I want to point out a couple of grammar before you submit it, because you don't need to let those things bring its power down.

In the the beginning of the middle where you use the words "if you where" the where in both places needs to be "were."

next the two places where you use "every body", you need to use "everybody" , one word instead of two.

and I think where you have "crawds" you mean "crowds"

loneliness

you also at the end where you use "wonding" even though its a typo and you meant "wondering", I think what you are saying would be "wandering"

and lastly where you put lonelyness, it should be"loneliness".

Keep them coming, Awesome, Awesome Passion !

If this helped, please feel free to toss me 10 points,

thanks,

Hartdawg

Answer 5

The Poem Is A Tad Scattered.

And The Idea Seems Rather Drawn Out.

The Spelling Wasn't Amazing Either.

But It Was Alright.

Answer 6

Very good. Use your spell check more and have fun writing, that's what I do.