Just curious, am I the only parent out there who is annoyed that I am saying the things my parents did??

Question

I have a pre-teen 12 1/2 year old serious pain in the butt son who is constantly challenging EVERY single decision that I make in his life. I was a young mom, had him at 17, I was an equally rebellious child and always swore that I would never say or do those annoying things that my parents did. I find the one that I am most resorting to is "Because I said do" or "Because I am the adult and you are the child". I always hated it when my parents said these things and swore that I never would but the more my son pushes I am finding these things coming out before I even realize what I am saying! I really wanted to be a "cool" mom.

Answer 1

No, you are not alone!  It is that nature vs nurture thing.  Some things we do are genetic and some things are what environment we are brought up in!  So it seems to me it would be normal to repeat history a little.  It is good you are conscious of it, because then you can change it!!  If it is bad then stop the cycle.  But feel free to use the good things your parents said or did!

I also learned that the frontal lobes of our brains are much more mature AFTER our 20's and much more capable of making the right decisions.  You can be a cool Mom but just let him know its tough love!

Answer 2

MY children are all grown now ,but I DID THE SAME THING,I heard my parents speaking Thu me ,something I said I WOULD NEVER DO , i TO WANTED TO BE THE COOL MOM , be a mother first and a friend when they are adults , your child will love you for it later.

Answer 3

i agree with nancy g

Answer 4

I understand wanting to be a cool mom, but your first responsibility is to be a good mom.  Hang in there, you are probably learning that the older you get, the smarter your parents are.  Be firm, don't argue with him, don't threatened anything you won't follow through on.  Now that I am older I consider it a compliment when people say you are like your dad or mother....If you are fair and consistent, then you will and your son will see that you are a cool mom.  good luck

Answer 5

thats the problem  now with this  generation we want the kids to be the parents if you feed  them put a  roof over there head there is no discussion when you speak be the parent not his friend in  the long run he will respect you for it

Answer 6

I am 17, and I think what happens to you, you channel it out on your kids. I have been abused, and still am, and I am so scared that I will do it to my children. Its just the way the world turns.

Answer 7

Welcome to the club.  I have taught for 20 years and still find myself saying the things my mom said.  Saturday Night Live has a great sketch on this topic titled : "the day I became my mom."  

Answer 8

I keep saying that to myself too, seriously parents; come up with something better! If you expect us to listen, a least change it up now and then, otherwise we know where the conversation is going and when to stop listening.