Just for fun - can you do it!?

Question

Write a paragraph with the words zebra, aristocrat, haunch, tornado, and philanthropist in it. The most creative response gets ten points!

Answer 1

The tornado dropped the zebra gently down onto a pastel blue haystack.

The zebra shook itself, checked it's left haunch, which seemed a little creeky after the impact, then murmured, "Hmm...I seem to be alright...WHA??--I can talk!--What?--How!--Where?"

A sweet and aristocratic voice came from out of a large pink bubble that was materializing in front of the bewildered zebra.

        "Hello, new striped friend, and welcome to Oz! All animals can talk here. My name is Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, and you are now in the country of the Munchkins, which is primarily blue. What's your name?"

         "My name?....Wh...why...it's Calvin...Calvin Zebra's my name!", exclaimed the zebra. "I've never had a name before!"

         Glinda, now fully materialized, a beautiful lady in white holding a wand with a glittering star at the end, laughed happily, gave a small bow and said, "I'm very happy to make your acquaintance, Calvin Zebra. What would you like to do, now that you're here?"

         Calvin thought for a moment. "I think..I'd like to do something nice for someone...a good deed, maybe..."

           Glinda gave an appreciative smile at Calvin. "You're a philanthropist, then."

             "A philanthropist? Is that what kind of a zebra I am?"

             "No, Calvin, a philanthropist is a...a good-deed doer. I know, because a very good friend of mine told me so. He's a wizard, so I think he'd be the one to know."

              "Do you think your friend could help me find a good deed to do?"

               "I don't see why not. Other friends of mine have found some wonderful things with his help: a brain, a heart, their courage...some have even found their way to a home here..."

                Glinda made a gentle wave of her wand, revealing a pathway made of yellow brick that seemed to stretch over the hills, through forests and fields and distant landscapes....

                 "If you follow this yellow brick road, you'll find the wizard, and perhaps many new friends on your journey to do good deeds for.

You'll find food and water and shelter along the way. Would you like to find him, Calvin?"

                "Why...I've got a haunch this could be a great adventure! Ha-Ha! I made a joke! Not talking for five minutes and I made a joke!--Oh, thank you!-Thank you! Oh--and Glinda, what's the name of the wizard?"

                   "Why, he's the wonderful wizard of Oz, Calvin."

                -"Well, then, to Oz?"

                             Glinda smiled beneficently and waved as she began to de-materialize.

                           "To Oz indeed!"

Answer 2

Commentary from the Jungle Olympics.

CHRIS: Is it unusual to be an Zebra up on it's haunches?

BOB: It is unusual, especially for those who come from an aristocratic background.However this particular Zebra does not conform to standards. His father was the renowned philanthropist, Zebu, who decided to dedicate his life (and money) to the less fortunate after a tornado ripped through a lions den in '88 leaving them homeless.

CHRIS: That's one nice Zebra, he must be proud watching his son today.

BOB: I'm sure he would be, except he was eaten by the same lions he saved in '92. Its a jungle out there!

zebra, aristocrat, haunch, tornado, and philanthropist - how's that?

Answer 3

       PHILANTHROPIST KILLED IN FREAK ACCIDENT

A noted philanthropist was killed yesterday in a freak accident.  The accident occurred when a tornado dropped a zebra, which had been a pet of a local aristocrat, onto the man.  The zebra's haunch hit the philanthropist in the head.  He was rushed to hospital in serious condition, but later died of his injuries.  Further information about the philanthropist can be found in the obituaries page.

Answer 4

I'll ride a zebra forever while trotting through heather

No more on the moores without lore to look for

Missing, not wishing, for the fat cat aristocrat that

supposed or posed to his foes in new lows

He was philanthropist, anarchist, seldom kissed, never missed

As he robbed for his job the great mob

at Laredo, molding them like play dough

like a whirling tornado

he swept through as they wept too -

much for such a rush to be hushed by blood lust

But the face of my steed heeds my need to just leave

I absolve my resolve the staunch haunch left to face the ruins of the place

as we trot through the heather forever together