Just found out that we can't have children :( what next?

Question

So my husband and I have been TTC for about 20 months or so. I've been trying several different things and have read up on it. My doctor told me to have my husband checked and then me (his test is less expensive). I never thought that this would happen. My husband has low sperm count and his doctor said that we won't beable to have children. So what now? I'm not really ready to adopt. Does anyone have similar experiences or know much about Invitro (sp?)? I can't believe this is happening to me, I never thought it would come down to this. I have been an emotional wreck!

Answer 1

WOW... ok first off get a second opinion!

I had a friend in this same situation. Her husband went to some clinic and gave a sperm sample. They determined he had low sperm count.

She then did some research online and learned that if a man where to give a sperm  sample at home while being aroused by their spouse and in the comfort of their own home, their counts where significantly higher then the sample at the clinic.

They are now linking sexual arousal and sperm count.

After she read this, she contacted a different clinic and doctor that would work with her rather then just shrug them off as not being able to conceive naturally!

After about 6 months they did conceive. He did have a lower sperm count, but nothing that would stop them from getting pregnant. Their doctor said even through he was 36 years old, he had the sperm of a 56 year old. They are also make male infertility drugs. I'm not sure which one he took but there are little odd things that men can do to help increase their sperm count.

One thing she told me was that they just "stopped" trying. She stopped her chart ting, stopped peeing on every stick and they just made love!!! And in 3 months after deciding to "Give up" they had conceived, this was 6 months after hearing about his so called "Low sperm count".

Please don't think that because you've heard this news, that it's correct. Also get a second opinion on things like this!

I will contract her to find the article she read and send it to you.

Keep your head up, it's not over yet!  

Answer 2

Probably the the most logical first step (assuming that you have no issues) would be artificial insemmination.  Depending on his sperm count, you may be able to use his s***n, or you may need to use donor sperm.  IVF shouldn't be necessary unless you also have tubal issues. (It's much more expsensive, more invasive and has a lower chance of success.)

Answer 3

You need to take care of you... and your husband :) Consider counseling to keep both of you semi-sane during this very difficult time. Your emotional self needs to be well so that you can gear up for any physical things you may choose to do such as IVF.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

I was told that my husband and I couldn't have kids for the same reason.  I was devastated too.  Then, a friend told me to get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and read up on how to get pregnant with low sperm count.  I now how two beautiful kids.  Please try this and don't let the doctor's diagnosis stop you from continuing to try.  Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry for your news...*hugs*  I don't know much about IVF but from what I understand if it's just his sperm count that's a problem (and you are healthy and able to get pregnant) than it might be an option for you...

best of luck and keep us posted.

Answer 6

Listen don't bum yourself out just yet. Mens sperm counts change all the time. If he is not already make him start taking some multi-vitamins. and if he smokes make him stop. Look at all of his daily habits and see if any of them could be hurting his sperm. Then just get some test done with a specialist and they would be able to tell you exactly whats wrong. Regular OB/GYN aren't the best people in my opinion to tell you that you wont be able to bear children. Don't think the worst just take a deep breath and think positive and come up with a action plan.