Question:

Just in case you need a laugh:?

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Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance

engineers.

By the way, UP S is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

*

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

*

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

*

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

*

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

*

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

*

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable

level.

*

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

*

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

*

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

*

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

*

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

*

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

*

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

*

And the best one for last...

*

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

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11 ANSWERS


  1. LOL!


  2. L-O-V-E it!!!!  Thanks!

  3. THIS IS FABULOUS!!!!

  4. lawl!!!

  5. ROFL!!!!!!!

    That was hilarious!That's the first joke today that made me cry because I am laughing so hard.I am going to give you a star for that.If I could give you 10 I would =].

  6. Extremely funny!!!!!!!!! That was the laugh I needed!! My favorite one was the last and my 2nd was the second to the last!!!!!!!

  7. hahah those were hillarious! Did you make them up yourself? Great job man! haha

  8. lol....(wipe away tears)....thats so funny.....have read other gripe sheets..never fail to make me laugh :)

    have a star

  9. Nice! Keep up the funniness!

  10. Very funny! Like it!

  11. rofl!! that was great dude!!!!!!!!!

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