Just need opinions...PLEASE!!!!

Question

My husband and I were married at a courthouse 6 months ago. Like most girls, I dreamed of a big beautiful wedding, But we decided we'd save the money and just be as simple as possible. Well my husband is a contractor, and just signed a contract for a huge job, and we'll have plenty of money. I'm pregnant now but after I have the baby, I'd really like a real wedding ceremony with guests and a reception and everything. It it selfish of me to ask friends and family to come to a "wedding" if we're already married? I wouldn't even want gifts! I just want the pretty dress and the garden scene and the pastor and everything. What do you think?

Answer 1

OHHH NO girl! That is NOT selfish AT ALL.

As you said--every woman dreams of having their perfect wedding.

Just because times were rough when you did get married-and you have a baby (or will have) does NOT make you any less worthy of having a wedding! And also, if you don't--you will always wonder what a real wedding would have been like. All of the people who come to your wedding will understand this concept--and if they don't--maybe they don't need to be there in the first place?

You have that wedding!  

Answer 2

I don't think so. They way you can get around the whole "2nd wedding" thing is to refer to is either a vow renewal/confirmation or just say "ring ceremony and reception."

I live in Utah and a lot of LDS people here get sealed in the LDS temple and then have to wait a few months to have the reception. What they do is they do a ring ceremony for their family and friends that couldn't attend the temple ceremony where they have a minister, or trusted friend preside over it and they say their vows and exchange rings again. Then they have a reception. And they're already married, and people still come.

Thats what I had to do. We had a courtroom wedding and are having our ring ceremony and reception in a month. Go ahead and have your beautiful wedding, and if someone thinks its tacky, they don't have to come.

I think you should be entitled to some gifts as well. I said the same thing "I wouldn't ask for gifts", but if you are afraid people will think you are just fishing for gifts, suggest a donation to a charity instead, or simply don't mention anything about gifts with the invitation. Register somewhere cheap, like target, and leave it at that. If people are concerned about where you are registered and want to buy you a gift, they will call you to find out where you are registered and then you can tell them you are registered wherever. If people don't want to give you a gift, they won't call about the registry.  

Answer 3

it doesn't matter if the wedding is your first, or fifth. they're always special! if thats what you want, and your husband too, it's perfectly fine! every woman wants that, and every woman deserves it.

Answer 4

if it means that much to you then DO IT!

Answer 5

renew your vows

Answer 6

Go for it. You deserve it and you won't regret it. There is nothing wrong with it.

Answer 7

Wedding, no. It's not a wedding, so don't call it that. However a party to celebrate is wonderful, as is a vow renewal or blessing ceremony.

Answer 8

I say go for it!  Live your dream Sweety!  Every girls wish is to marry her prince in a beautiful setting.  You deserve it!  Many people do this, go for it!  :-) God bless.

Answer 9

Another wedding do-over.  When are these going to stop?

You made your decision....but now things are changed?  I don't think so.  You are now husband and wife.....not bride and groom.  The big white dress and attendants are gone too.  

The wedding you had WAS a real wedding.  Save your money and go on a trip.  Don't try to create something from nothing.

You cannot have a "wedding".....you are married.

You asked for opinions....so that is mine.

Answer 10

If this is what you really want to do go ahead and plan your beautiful wedding.  Live your life with no regrets and make yourself happy!!

Answer 11

DO IT.

Answer 12

no its not selfish :) ure giving them free food and asking for no gifts :) and ure fulfilling the dream that every little girl has :) dont worry about it..go for it !

Answer 13

My husband and I just had our "real" wedding at the church with family and friends - even though we got married at the Chamber of Commerce a year-and-a-half ago.

Everyone was so excited to come out and celebrate our special day. It was a lot of fun. You should do it. You'll never regret it. But you will regret not doing it.

By the way, our family and friends insisted on giving us gifts. They kept bugging us. They threatened they would throw money at us. So we finally gave in on that part. If yours do insist, just give in. It would be a good chance to get some stuff for the baby or your home.

We also had a HoneyMoon this time (unlike last time). Just last night we got back from Hawaii. While you probably won't want to fly around with a baby, you might want to take a couple of days off after the wedding for some down-time, and some family time. You could catch a movie, maybe go to the zoo, and catch up on some sleep!

Answer 14

I think not. You are already married, and had the type of wedding you chose to at the time.

Maybe host some family and friends to a dinner at your home at your first anniversary, and have an anniversary party.

But that's it.

Answer 15

Its a pathetic display, and your guests will think so too. No wedding do-overs. You already got married and that was your choice. You could have waited but you didnt.  

Answer 16

if u think u can afford it and ur husband is up for it why not . weddings don't have to be dear ,I'm planing mine now and i want the big white wedding job too. iv set a budget at 15000 euro and and that's covering everything.

Answer 17

dont be mad... i honestly thinks its a waste on time and money

Answer 18

Follow your heart.  If this is something you really want to do then, go for it!  I think your family will understand.  Especially, if you have the support of your husband.  Have unique invitations made up for the occasion.  Stating that you want to "renew" your wedding vows.  

Answer 19

Its hard cause you skipped the big event and now you're wanting to have a big party to celebreate it more than a year after the actual date.  I know a couple who eloped then had a ceremony on their one year anniversary which was fun cause they eloped and now want to include people.  Maybe on your 2 year anniversary you could do a mini ceremony and invite people to celebrate your marriage and child but have it be a party with no stipulations.

Good luck with that cause it could turn a lot of people off wanting to have a big thing when you've already done the deed...

Answer 20

OK well it would be classed as a Vow Renewal as you would be already married, and I think it would be appropriate as long as you are not expecting gifts.  I mean, people will probably give you gifts at your court wedding, or after that when they know you are married, and I don't think it would be right to then expect more gifts at the Vow Renewal.  Lots and lots of people do this, so it is not a new thing, I just think you have to be tasteful in how it is done

Answer 21

Nah go for it. Theres nothing wrong with that. You deserve to have a special day too.

Answer 22

If this is what you want and it's alright with your husband, I say do it!! It's not selfish at all.