Just need some encouragment?

Question

So this isn't a baby question, but I know you moms will understand. I just found out that my boyfriend who works 4 states away has been cheating on me for quite some time, we have a 5 month old son, I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm so confused I dont know what to do. Part of me says stay with him, take his money and stay at home with my son. The other part of me says leave him, raise my son myslef, and live a happy life... but the thing is I dont have a job, I have NO money in the bank, I have nothing, I can live with my parents, but I'm so confused. I want the best for my son. If you were in this situation what would you do? I'm so scared to be a single mom, any single moms out there with some encouragment, that would really help.

Answer 1

In my opinion (if you will accept a mans opinion) I think your best bet is to go after child support if you can, take your precious child and live with your parents until you can figure out what is going to happen financially.  I think its best to do this then to raise your son to feel like he has a wonderful father and have him cheat again later in life and see your sons heart brake.  Good Luck hope all goes well!

Answer 2

Leave him go to your parents and get on your feet. Its very hard but you will make it.

Answer 3

I'm not a single mom but I think that you should just leave him and the two of you go live with your parents and start a new life!  You know if he is going to cheat on you he's not commitied to the relationship....one thing that you must do is file for child support! So at lleast he will be paying for the child that he decieded to make with you.  If you need someone to talk to you can write me a message!  Hope you can get your head together and do whats best for you and your baby

Answer 4

i can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now.. and i'm so sorry you have to be going through this.  it's hard enough to be alone raising your son, and without your boyfriend t here to share all of the baby's firsts, to share the diaper duties, etc. with... BUT

unless he is 100% truly sorry, which - by him admitting it - it could be a start, AND you both go to counselling, because if he was able to cheat on you once, god knows what he is capable of doing again... and you'll need the counseling due to trust/ insecurities issues.... than i'd say you need to leave him.  either way, you do need to pick yourself up and get on with your life.  you CAN get a job, even if it's part time.  your son might even benefit from daycare or a babysitter.. you both need time apart, and you both need to socialize as well.  you working is one of the best things you can do for your son right now.  that way, if you do deep down KNOW its only right for you to leave your cheating boyfriend, you wont be held back from doing that by money issues.  and you know, you will get child support too which will help.  get on wic, etc too...

but right now, i think you should go stay with your parents.. just to give it some time, and to cool down, and clear your mind so you can figure out what's best for you to do right now.  good luck, and you'll get through it.. i promise.  things are always okay in the end... and if they're not okay, than it's not the end :)

Answer 5

The best thing you can do for you son is become a happy woman , that has a fulfilling live above and beyond any man.  Now listen, You can sit down to dinner and enjoy the dinner, but if you get desert at the end, then that is just extra and wonderful....  Now that you have a child you have to find that meal,  be happy with it, and then if the * right* man is there,  that is the desert,   let time go by, and get a plan,  rather you stay with him or not, get your life together,  get a job,  get things going, so that you are more happy about you and your life.  OK/..  that is my opinion,   GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Well, cheating hurts but it is possible to get over it and move on and have a happy healthy marriage if you are willing to work at it. Dont feel like you have to leave, dont feel like you have to stay. You would find a way to make it on your own. But if you say he works 4 states away, my guess is you dont see each other much anyway. So why not stay and live as you are on his money and still pretty much a single mom. I understand. My hubby works in the next state, and offshore so I am a single mom most of the time, also a SAHM. I know I would feel s**z out of luck if I needed to leave. But a marriage is worth working on if you think you can get past it. Is it a continual affair or was it a weak moment of loneliness missing his wife a few states away?

Answer 7

I am SO sorry that this happened to you! That is not a good thing to go through. I can tell you from experience though, that those people who say that 'being a single mom is SO hard', really are just negative people. I am a single mom of a 1 year old and an 8 year old. I have been single for all of my kids childhood except for 2 years there. I can tell you honestly, that it is busy and requires organization. But it is fun and happy in my house. I don't find it that bad at all. Especially for the first years when I just had one child... it was even what I would call easy. I also didnt' have alot of money. I worked by babysitting from my home. than I worked at a hopsital. Did you know that hospital kitchen staff and housekeeping get paid a starting wage of about $13-15 an hour??

What I am doing now is that I am staying home wiht my baby by taking university full time from my home. This way I am getting an edcuation and I stay with him. I have no child support or family support, so we are living on student loans living expenses and it is more than I made with waiteressing jobs (I never did get good tips, lol).

It is VERY do-able. Some days are stressful and you want to pull your hair out, but you can't tell me that the 'suburban housewife that has the husband' doesnt' have those days sometimes too.

I think that after you make the decision to leave (if you do)... you will find that the hardest part. After that, it will all be OK.

Answer 8

Personally, if it were me I would be out of there.  I say go to your parents house and get yourself on your feet.  Raise your son, but make sure you take your boyfriend to court to get support.  It will be a living h**l to try and live with him now that you have the knowledge that he has been unfaithful.  It would be better for you to heal from this situation to be away from him.  Good luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 9

leave him but don't tell and take his money and start dating other men in the area. See how he likes it. Two can play games mean while he still taking care of his kid.

Answer 10

Hey, hey, hey

Don't worry about things

I'm sending ya all the love I have right now <3333333333333333333333 can you feel it??

so what i would do is live with your parents, and leave your boyfriend... problems now spell problems later, and he's far away.

Don't be afraid to be a single mom- the love for your son will get you through each day until it becomes easier <3

And remember, you were once the victorious little sperm who, out of millions, found its way and made you.

Good luck! Really, from the bottom of my heart

Answer 11

easy. child support, get a job at a factory (sounds horrible but pays wonderful), find out when your parents or friends are working and ask if they can babysit while your at work, ask parents if they can help with a few financial costs until your back on your feet and see about a place to stay like low income housing or parents. you dont have to be rich to have a great life. your child wont know any different until hes older, they get excited to go into mcdonalds! they dont mind =) just as long as their fed, clean, and safe.