Just some friendly advice?

Question

I am a newly married 22 yr old who really wants to have a baby. My husband (who is 30) and I both really want a child. However we are not the most financially stable right now. But I am working a job with wonderful benefits so my health care would be covered. My husband doesnt want to wait very long b/c of the age difference and I really want to have a child when I am younger. So the advice I need is do you think its a good idea for us to go ahead and try? Some personnal expirences would be very helpful

Answer 1

my first two were born when i was 19 and 21.  physically, it was a walk in the park compared to the one i had 15mo ago when i was 40 but emotionally and mentally, totally a lot easier now to make the adjustment and accept that "single lifestyle = kablooey".

but you know what?  if you wait until you're "really ready" then you'll wait forever.

Answer 2

I was planning on waiting until i was 27 to have a baby, but as soon as we owened our own house I had this overwhelming desire for a baby.  My partner had wanted one for the previous 2 yrs lol so i didn;t need to convince him!!

I just needed to know we were in a stable loving relationship with our own house.

When you're ready you will know, just like when you love someone. You say you really want a baby and your hubby too so you go for it because you cannot ignore the baby desire feelings for long :)

Also, for me, being a mummy is the best thing ever. My life has been amazing since she was born last june.

Answer 3

Hi.  I think it's critical that you and your new hubby (congrats, by the way!) give  yourselves a bit of time to adjust to being married.  I know several people who didn't do this for various reasons and they all regretted it.  As wonderful as they are, babies do add a lot of stress and you're better off having a solid footing, both relationshipwise and financially.

I'd definitely plan on waiting a year at least, two if possible.  If it's too soon and you're finances are a bit of a mess, you're really walking into a lot of complications that should be avoided.

Answer 4

I will tell you this, no one can ever REALLY be ready for a baby.

Whether it be financially, emotionally, physically,etc....

Me and my boyfirend (of 3 1/2 years) knew we wanted a baby with eachother but we were concerned with all the same things u are. he's 4 years older than me, i'm 22 he's 26.

We both had good jobs, steady with good pay. We lived in an apartment and been there for 2 years.

Our life wasn't perfect, we did struggle to pay bills as every couple does. We had (and still) a hard time saving money.

But we both have loving and supportive familes and friends.

We were both at a point in our lives that we actually need to calm down and start thinking about our future, we eventually want to get married. We were on party mode and only had to worry about our selves.

then I found out i was pregnant. 7 1/2 weeks. took 2 tests to make sure and we went to the doct.

I couldn't have been more happy. Once this came our lives completely changed. I had a very long and hard pregnancy. I'm not a patient person so being pregnant from January to the end of october...geez.

Once the baby came my Bf worked even harder to make sure bills were paid.

His girls counted on him... and he loved it.

Now, my daughter is 7.5 months, I have an even better job and my bf owns a business, and we just moved into a house.

So u have 2 choices

You can wait till u think ur ready

or

you can take what god gives u and love every minute of it.

I hope the best for u and ur husband and god bless

Answer 5

No one can tell you when the best time to have a baby is. You just know! My husband and I aren't well off by any means and we are now expecting our second. I actually quit my job to raise our son and it's very hard financially! If you are ready to have kids, you don't question it, you make it work. Thats good that your job will cover your maternity leave, but then what? Is it worth it to go back to work and put baby in daycare? For us, the cost of daycare was just about what I was making at work, so we decided I would just stay home. Its a hard decision, but sometimes you have to follow your heart and not your bank account. Yes, it will be tight, but oh boy are they worth it! Good luck!!

Answer 6

It is amazing how many people that I hear saying they can't afford a baby!  No matter what your income is there is always a way you just have to be creative and resourseful.  My husband and I started having kids when I was 21 and he was 20.  So many people told us we were not ready and we would never make it and now we have our own house and three kids running through it making a mess everywhere.  Once you have a baby you make decisions  differently like do I buy diapers or a new shirt.  Go ahead and have your baby while you are young.  If the two of you are ready don't let anyone stop you.

Answer 7

Time flys, your will be 30 before you know it with the same status and no children.

Answer 8

I am 25 and my significant other is 37.  I was 24 and he was 36 when we got pregnant.  His age doesn't matter as much as your age.  I would get your finances in order before trying.  It's very stressful trying to raise a baby when you are always stressed about money, trust me.

If you want to try, then go ahead and try, but I would casually try until you are more financially stable.  You don't want to have a baby without health coverage, I just got the bills for mine.  The delivery was $50,000 and I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks later and that was an additional $10,000.  That doesn't include pre-natal care or well baby visits!