Just wondering if I should show my 5yr old son his dead fish? Or do I just get rid of it myself?

Question

I know his fish is ready to pass on, so I'm asking before it happens. Thanks for all the input.

Answer 1

I would show it to him and simply tell him that the fish was real old/sick and he simply stopped breathing and went to sleep.  Have a memorial service and say one thing you will remember about the fish and then bury it or wrap it up (and later dispose).  Tell him there are many other fish out there waiting for his love and perhaps you can get another one.

Answer 2

Yes. I resented my parents when they wouldn't tell me what happened to my dog.

Of course that was a long time ago. But still, tell him. It's best not to avoid touchy subjects like death.

Just don't be blunt about it. I know I would have appreciated it if my parents had told me that my dog had been so happy to have lived with me, that he had a very happy life, and that he was in a better place now.

Answer 3

For many children, their first experience with loss and bereavement involves a pet that has died. It is important to not minimize the loss because it is a your son's fish. He may have been very attached to the fish and may take the loss very hard.

Talk with him about the loss and see how it is affecting him. While it is important to not minimize the loss, it is also important to not overreact. You should also be honest about the fish's death.

It may be easier to just replace the fish, but you will lose out on an opportunity to teach your son about an important topic and you run the risk of losing your son's trust if he ever finds out the truth.

Some difficult questions may come up. Be prepared to answer things like: "will I die"? or "will mommy or daddy die"?. Again, it is important to be direct and honest. You can tell him that people normally don't die until they are very old and reassure him that while everyone does die, you will all live a long time.

Answer 4

Get rid of it

Answer 5

Show it to him. He must learn that death is a natural, inevitable part of life.

Answer 6

Death and birth is a normal part of life and I don't think u should hide it from him.  I'd prepare him now for what is likely to happen and then ask him what he thinks death means, and then I'd ask him if he would like to see the fish when it has died....that gives him a choice without hiding things from him.  It shows respect for him.  And maybe he won't want to see it, and that's ok too.

Answer 7

I think it's up to what you think he can handle and what you want to teach him.

I recall my mother always took care of it when I was little. She would tell me that our pet died but I never did see it. I beleive I did ask what she did with it and how but I never saw it.

Answer 8

I would show him.  I have pet mice and rats and I have shown them to my kids (youngest being 5).  He wasnt upset - more interested - we looked at the dead baby rat and talked about him not breathing and that he wouldnt get better.  We turned the rat over and looked at his little paws etc.  

I think death is part of life and the earlier it is introduced as a normal thing the more they can try to work it out in their head.

I really dont think you could do any damage showing him and you'll probably find that he is more curious than upset.

Answer 9

This really depends on the child and the relationship he has with the fish. Is he really attached? Then ya might want to explain it to him. Does he not care much...well..."fishy is gone" will probably be good enough for now. If and when he is ready he will ask questions...it might be right away it might be 5 months from now out of the blue. Again,it also depends on his level of understanding, which is a little different for each child. 5 might be a bit young for learning about death, but it can be introduced gently, as long as you don't force it.

Blessings to you with telling your son another part of life...

Answer 10

He'll probably benefit from you explaining the whole life and death thing and a goldfish is probably the best thing to start with x R.I.P fishy x

Answer 11

I wouldn't I would get rid of it myself and buy a new one.  I think 5 is a too young.  But thats just me.  I'm not saying its a bad idea to show it to him and teach him about the way of life.  Its just my personal opinion and if it was my girl, I would either replace it  or find a softer way of dealing with it.  Like getting rid of it before she could see it and just telling her the fish went to heaven or something.  Tough one.

Answer 12

You should show him the fish. exlpain that death is a natural part of life and that it happens to every living thing. tell him that the fish had a happy life.