Keep a child back?

Question

Keep a child back?

I am debating and want to get opinions from other parents..

my son is four, turning five in november, and is in preschool

he seems still very immature and im not sure hes ready for kindergarten, as the starting age for kindergarten is five and he would be four starting, i have the opportunity to keep him back in preschool again until he is five turning six next year to start kindergarten

not sure if thats the best route to take and debating pros and cons, what do u think?

my daughter was just turned five in august before starting kindergarten but she was more than academically ready

Answer 1

Generally, the children who have the hardest time in Kindergarten are the youngest boys in the class. This is particularly true now that Kindergarten has become terribly academic. You know your child best, but the best thing you may be able to do for him is to give him the gift of time.

Answer 2

I have two boys and wish I had held both of them back in preschool.

Answer 3

According to most educational research, the cons far outweight the pros in keeping a child back in school.  Their self-confidence takes a major nose-dive, and they begin to expect themselves to fail.  Your son might benefit from extra enrichment at home during the summer.  There is a very good book entitled "Everything Your Kindergartener Needs to Know," and it will be able to give you some ideas.

As for his age compared to your daughter's:  She might have been a little further along developmentally when she began kindergarten, and sometimes all it takes is a few months for a kid to catch up.  Ask his teachers what they think about his situation and see what they suggest.  Good luck.

Answer 4

School districts in our state require that a child be 5 before entering Kindergarten. ( In our district he would have to be 5 by May 1). If he does go, he would be one of the youngest in the class, possibly for his whole school career.  for some reason, it doesn't seem to matter as much with girls.  however, when he gets to be in the upper grades, and he is the youngest boy... there can be some issues.  For example, many girls seem to think they cannot date anyone younger than they, even by a few months.  

I suspect that this would be a good time to do this , especially if you feel that he is not socially or academically ready.   He is not in formal school yet. He'll get pushed soon enough.  The research does NOT support holding most kids back once they hit elementary school.  If you have any concerns, do it now.  Maybe he will mature a lot during the next year.   Also,maybe he can attend a good preschool which focuses on preparation for Kindergarten.

Also, if his current teacher is experienced, ask her opinion of whether or not he is ready to go on.  Perhaps, you could consult with the kidnergarten teacher to see what the expectations are for beginning K.  

No need to comapre his with sis.  Each kids develops at a different rate.   In general, boys tend to be slower than girls beginning to learn academics.  Focus on having fun with your son this summer and developing his strengths.

Do you need to make the final decision   right now?  Can you sign him up now and change your mind, if necessary in August?  Sometimes a few months can make a lot of difference.

Answer 5

My advise to you would be to hold him back.  If he is immature and not socially ready, then it will be difficult for him to handle the cognitive aspect of kindergarten. I am a preschool teacher and there is a little boy in my class with a September birthday, but they refuse to hold him back.  He lacks social skills,and really does not know how to interact with other children.  He is still doing onlooker and parallel play.  Kindergarten is a lot different then it was when we went. They really push the academics now, and research has shown that socially immature children do poorly with academics.  He probably won't be held back in kindergarten if you chose to send him, but might be in second grade when it catches up to him.  I would hold him back.  Even though your daughter was young, she was probably more mature.  If you wait to send him, he will be one of the oldest in the class, but he will understand a lot more and will be on top of the class.  If you want some articles supporting this, send me an e-mail.  Also try to find a Young 5's program or a preschool to put thim in.  That way he will be able to work on the soical and emotional development for another year.

Answer 6

Most school systems require the child to turn 5 by September 30th.  As a preschool disability teacher in a public school system, I would advise the parent to keep the child in preschool for another year.  The older the child is when he/she enters a school-age program the better chances he/she has in be in the top of the class academically/emotionally.  My advice to you is to keep him in preschool an additional year...You do not want frustrations to keep him from learning and being able to enjoy school...

Answer 7

Just the fact that you are debating and unsure is reason enough for me to advise holding him back.  I have never heard a parent regret holding their child and giving them the gift of time -I have heard a lot of parents regret sending them on too early. Follow your instinct and give him another year to mature and to grasp the academics.

Answer 8

I am facing a similar decision with my daughter.  She is unprepared for Kindergarten.  We have chosen to not send her to school this fall and work hard with her for the next year so she is prepared next year.

In my experience I think it's better to keep them back now rather than have them possibly struggle and end up having to be held back later on in school.  Also, again in my experience, boys mature more slowly and do struggle more.  That doesn't mean that he WILL have problems, but I would suggest holding him back and working with him more.  You can always step up your activities with him if he starts getting bored.  Better safe than sorry is my opinion.  Follow your gut and mom instincts!

Good luck either way you go!

Answer 9

There are many who feel that boys tend to do better in school when they are an older five or a younger six.  This seems to derive from the fact that social-emotionally they are slower in development.  He will definately be a young five and if you and the preschool teacher feel that another year of preschool would be beneficial...go for it.  I feel that holding them back once they enter into their "formal" education is where the problem comes...like when they hold back in grades after Kindergarten.  Better to do it when they are young.  Holding him back now will most likely have no effect on him, negatively.  Do what you think is best.

Answer 10

please hold him back - if you as a parent can handle it - the child will benefit for it and the parent just has to get over what ever mental issue that they have

Remember this is whats best for the child not what the neighbors will say

Answer 11

I agree with many others in that your state has to have a legal mandate of age 5 by a certain date. If your child is old enough then definitely forget about the word "academics" and remember the word development.  He is 4 years old!!  I have answered this question many times and have read many articles on both sides.  I encourage you to read the following article.  I would also like to bring attention to your role as the "expert' in this along with your son.  One suggestion would be to talk to him about entering school next year openly and excitedly.  How does he feel about this?  If he is excited, then let him have at it mom.  Are there any trepidations other than the academics?  If so, what are they?  I think that even if your child has displayed some challenges he has that moving will HELP not hurt his development.  Whether you are a Montessori person or Vygotsky or High-scope......a common principle is that through participation in communities with participants of varying "skill" levels, children learn to have successes.  

read this, write me back

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I encourage you to read the 6 criterium by NAEYC especially #2 in your situation. These are well researched and "VALID" not subjective conjecture.

Sorry, I guess link was bad......here it is  again

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu45EiiVIkh...

Answer 12

what is the cut off date for starting kindergarten in your school district? that should help. if the cut off date is before his birthday, don't push it...if the cut off isn't until december, send him...the cut off here is September 1, so he would be too young to attend kindergarten where i live. but if he can go, send him.

here's my story...my daughter's birthday is september 28. . . 28 days passed the cut off date. however, she was/is very gifted. i went to the school district and she had to do 4 (yes 4) standardized tests just to start at the age of 4...one being an IQ test and she had to score in the gifted range. she loves being the youngest in her class and has many friends. i don't regret sending her a year early at all.

also, i was the youngest in my class as was my older brother. we both did well. i went to a good university, graduated with honors, member of honors society and my brother has his phd in math. i always thought it was kind of cool that i was 17 and graduating and there were people who were 19 or 20.

i have parents who ask me about holding their kids back and waiting an extra year to start Kindergarten. in my opinion, it's better to send them to kindergarten. children come into kindergarten with such a vast range of skills that your child will most likely not be behind at all. in your son's class, there will be children who can already read and children who have never set foot inside a school before and can't even identify any letters or shapes.

so don't fret. just work with your son this summer and make sure he has his basic skills going into kindergarten. identifying shapes, colors, and some letters....writing his first name with only the first letter being capitalized....counting objects (not just rote counting)...he'll be fine :) plus, kids mature a lot over the course of either the summer before or the year of kindergarten.

Answer 13

Some who feel that boys  to do better in school when they are an late five or  six. This is because people seem to think that boys are less mature and slower in development than girls. Maybe you can talk to your preschool teacher to get her opinion. And also school districts have evaluations for children, you might want to go to the district office and ask about that.

My kid is also the youngest in his class, born in October. But he was very mature for his age. Addition to that he knew his phonics and was reading already. Teachers move very quickly in their lessons. I'm afraid if your boy doesn't some of the language or other skills like listening going into kindergarten he may fall behind very easily. By doing that he will lose his self confidence in himself. I see it so much when kids say "I can't" instead "I can". CONFIDENCE and have fun learning is the key.

Keep that in mind.

Answer 14

Don't do it.  He will be embarrassed by it later in life.