Keeping to their nap routine, disrupting their "schedule"?

Question

My daughter is almost 5 months old and she tends to spend most of her days at home with my husband while I am at work during the week. The do some day outings but mostly stay at home and keep to her routine. On the weekends when I am off work we do all sorts of activities and get out of the house while we can with the baby. My mother has suggested (don't you love it when they do that!) that we don't get her out enough, she's too stuck in her routine, she should be able to nap anywhere, etc. etc. This whole rant stemmed from my mom babysitting for a 2 hour period this weekend when hubby and I went to a movie. She had issues getting her down for a nap (at her house) and Elyse was super overtired and extremely fussy which is very much unlike her. (she was inconsolable for an hour or so)

So... question is - do you stick to your babies routine and let them nap at home or when they were young did you expose them to many different situations to ensure they were more "pliable" when out and about? My gut is that we should continue to do what were doing, it seems to be working since we rarely, if ever, need a baby sitter. Just wanted to see what other moms out there were/are doing. I think by asking a baby to be so flexible we are asking too much of them at such a young age - do you agree?

Sorry for the long explanation and multiple questions!

Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

If it isn't broke, don't fix it...do what's best for your family, not your mother.

I am a SAHM and I am pretty consistant with my son's feeding schedule, but not naps.  I always make sure I am home to feed him, but I will go out sometimes in between feedings and he will nap in the carseat.  Not a biggie for us.

Answer 2

I say stick to her nap schedule as much as you can.  I did w/my kids when they were little and it helped them develop great sleeping habits.  Of course there will be times when it's just not possible to put her down at her scheduled time, in which case maybe she can fall asleep in the car or if you are visiting friends/family maybe there is a quiet room she can rest in (you would need to travel w/her Pack N' Play).  

I don't think you can expect a baby to nap anywhere, especially as they start getting older.  She is at an age when EVERYTHING is very interesting and there is so much for her to see, of course she's not going to want to nap when you're out somewhere, she's having too much fun!

Answer 3

my son goes to daycare, they keep him on a routine schedule. we break it every weekend! lol..anyways my son will not..and i repeat ..will not sleep anywhere other than home or daycare..not an either grandmother not at my brothers..not any where.. but i have done a little research myself and found that some children are that way..if its not familiar they wont sleep..i also found out that my son is just like me when i was a baby..so ask your husband mom if he was like that as a baby

Answer 4

You gotta love Grandma advice!! :) I guess we'll be doing the same thing one day!

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. It's good to let them set their own routine and they will do this at home. Even if your husband were to go out more often, she won't have routines while she's out because it will always be a different place. Some babies just don't want to nap in strange places... ESPECIALLY if mom and dad aren't there.

And don't be too harsh on the mom... they love to give advice and know everything. She was probably a little upset that whatever she did with you didn't work with your daughter and that's why she said you guys must be doing something wrong.

Answer 5

My first two children were (and still are) very flexible and would nap wherever we were. My third (15 months) will *not* nap anywhere but at home, in her bed. It makes it a bit hard as she is now down to one long nap a day (sometimes as long as 3 1/2- 4 hours) and she is ready for bed by NO LATER than 8:00, often 7:15, 7:30.  So...I try to go by her schedule, I try my hardest. But it doesn't always work out during the week, and on the weekends, like you, we have places to go and things to do as a family. And honestly, I'm one of those people who NEEDS to get out of the house frequently anyway.  For a while I tried doing all my errands and appointments on one or two days a week, but it resulted in her spending the next day out of sorts and myself running like crazy that one or two days. Now, we have a five week old. I'm hoping he'll be a bit more flexible and can deal with his sister's schedule, but who knows what will be...

You know, now I'm remembering that with my younger two, who were super-flexible, I'd hear 'oh, she needs to stick to her schedule more rigidly". We can't win. So, I'm just winging it, and as long as I spend time playing with/teaching my kids, and everything is clean and manageable, I'll call it a success. I can't possibly try to finish all of my daily running before a 10 a.m nap (my kids are early birds and we are usually up by six) every single day. My third has taught me that while some babies can also 'wing it', some just can't  It's pretty clear when the smiliest, most easy going baby in the world turns into a crying mess when we're not home and done with lunch by noon that we can't ask all of them to be flexible.

You're doing right by your baby, and your mother needs to work with the baby, not vice versa.Maybe next time she can watch her at your house instead- the few times I leave my kids, they are watched at my house because that's the only place she is going to rest. Period.  

But I'm reeeeally hoping Isaac is a bit more flexible :)

Answer 6

My family is all over this big city so we have been going going going since day 1. My daughter (8 months old) still has trouble sleeping when we are not at home. Sometimes she will fall asleep in the car, but that is rare. When we go out to dinner with my family and stay out past 7:30pm (her bedtime) it seems like her whole schedule is thrown off for 2-3 days afterwards. We are breastfeeding and she is now at the age that she is so distracted when we are out in public that she will not eat a fully. It just seems like she snacks so that throws off her schedule too.

edit: I took night classes when my daughter was first born and when I got to the caregivers house (a very close friend) at 11pm she would be screaming at the top of her lungs because she was so overtired : /

Answer 7

You do whatever you feel is right and what works for you guys and your daughter.  

I got the same type of advice; I did take my daughter to other places and she did fine napping elsewhere...I was always nervous about it though and she would surprise me almost every time by having no problems.  However, to this day she always sleeps best at home in her own bed...who doesn't?  I don't think that will ever change.  

Maybe your mom should have her more often..they can get used to each other and your daughter can be more accustomed to sleeping at her house.  Just a thought.  Otherwise, again do what you think is right!

Answer 8

My daughter has a 'routine,' but is very capable of carrying out that routine no matter where she's at.  For example, if she's ready for her afternoon nap but I have to go somewhere she'll nap wherever we're at.  She has a fairly routine time that she does things, but she's flexible.  

I think there's a happy medium; things need to be flexible but baby needs to know what to be able to expect as well.  When possible I try to respect my baby's schedule and make sure I don't schedule things during her nap times.  By the same token, every baby is different and some cannot handle change as well as others.

There are a lot of factors that go into the situation with your mother.  Your daughter is just used to what she normally does.  Babies don't understand things like we do; she probably knew she was somewhere different and didn't know what to do.  Part of her routine may be grounded in being in a familiar place.  Would your mom be willing to babysit at your house so baby is in a familiar environment?  Is your daughter flexible at other times?  If not, you may want to try to encourage more flexibility if it is needed.  If this is all stemming from one incident, I'd just let it go.

Answer 9

Emma has put herself into a routine.  I schedule our errands during the week around her (however we don't stay home from events that occur during naptime).  We are home most days and if not we are usually in the car around naptime so she naps there.  On Sundays we go to church and she has to nap during church.  It is usualy a little bit of a struggle to get her to fall asleep on my lap, but eventually she will do it.  If your baby is on a schedule and likes her bed, then that is just the way she is.  It gets better as they get older as they can stay up longer without as much fussiness.  

Answer 10

I am a SATM and I try to keep to a schedule, nap in the morning and afternoon with my seven month old.  But there are days (at least two a week) that I have to get my oldest kids to an appt or run errands.  If I get her down for the longer of the naps, usually afternoon I find she does alright if I bypass the morning nap.

I totally agree though that it is good for kids to be in routines and we try to stick to ours as much as possible.  I think that it tends to make kids feel more secure.  Elyse might have had a problem with your mother because it was a different environment, not because she was out of schedule.