Question:

Keeping your freedom while married?

by | earlier

My close guy friend is having some trouble with the married life. He's been married for just about a year now, and recently hes been telling me that he misses being able to do his own thing. He yearns for the days when he could do things spontaneously. It really hurts me to see him so unhappy. What advice can I give him? Thanks!

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Tell him he isn't single anymore, and that his life isn't all about him anymore. Sacrifice and compromise comes with marriage, and he is going to have to come to terms with that.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
There is a lot of freedom in marriage.  Freedom to be yourself, freedom to live as you see fit, freedom to do as you want to do (all of these freedoms are still there, you just have to make sure that you are thinking of more than just yourself).  The main problem with anyone who says they are unhappy in their marriage because they don't have any freedom is that they are totally selfish.

By the way, it is so obvious by the way that you phrased that question that you have strong feelings for this person.  You should realize that he is a married man and a selfish married man at that.  He shouldn't be talking to YOU about his marital problems, he should be talking to his WIFE.  You know, that woman that you are NOT.  Sorry, but you shouldn't be so involved with a man who is married to another woman unless you are family because it has dangerous consequences for you (like falling in love with a man who is taken).
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
he should be talking to his wife about how he feels not you. tell him nothing will change if he doesn't figure out to tell her how he feels but at the same time, he's married and can't expect as much freedom as he used to get. he has a responsibilities now and should live up to them.
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Nothing..he is married now.  Why does he want to do thing spontaneously by himself and not with his wife??? I have been married for 1 yr and half and I never want to anything by myself unless I want to surprise him.  There is something more to this. Being married is two people... it is not feeling traped.  Why does he feel like he is trapped and what thing does he want to without his wife...it don't make sence.

You don't need to feel sorry for him...he need to talk to his wife not you. Sorry but I think you like him, if you were that consern then you would tell him to talk to his wife about this issue he has.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
ditch the *****
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Freedom and marriage are complete opposites. I would guess that your guy friend is not very confident when it comes to meeting women, otherwise he probably would never have gotten married.
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He needs to talk to his wife about how he feels, not you. Unfortunately when you get married you give up a lot of the freedom to just wake up and do whatever you want everyday since your whole life now involves another person. So the fact that he doesn't want to deal with his wife sounds like he might want to be single again. Unless his wife is carefree and spontaneous like he is they may never see eye to eye on that fact. He needs to talk to his wife first and the fact that he's confiding in you doesn't help.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife about it...

Come on... this isn't your business, and why are you so interested in his happiness...
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Tell him to suck it up he made the decision to get married and he should make the best of it.
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he should talk to his wife and explain to her how he feels if she cares about him then most likely shell understand and they might be able to come up with an agreement and work something out to where everyones happy.
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Explore the marriage- He really should be discussing this with his spouse--unless you are the significant spouse. I would say that he has made the choice of being with that significant spouse, through thick and thin they have to work it out together.

Why did he get married in the first place?
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it is called i.e. cheating
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Don't be hurt for him, be hurt for his wife who might be even more unhappy married to him! If he's so unhappy, he can get a divorce.
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Being married is like living in China except in China you get more freedom . I'm kidding kinda but really your friend must learn to give up some things . And if he or she thinks its bad now wait till kids come into the picture OMG.
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It really hurts you to see him unhappy? Pleeease! First of all if he is married, he should talk to a guy about such topics not to a girl who feels "really hurt" for him.
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he should find a different girl, or maybe you.

I dont understand how come someone can have s*x only with one person.

change is life. ;)

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Tell him nobody forced him to get married.
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Sounds like he is making his situation sound worse than what it is to get sympathy from you. He may be interested. Do not get involved with this it's between him and his wife.
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He decided to marry, now he needs to grow up and be the man his wife THINKS she married.

Tell him to grow up, and stop acting so immaturely. He can't have it both ways.

If he can't face the responsibilities he willingly undertook, then he should divorce.

I'm sorry, but he sounds like a real loser.
Report (0) (0) | earlier