Kicking someone out of my house help!!!

Question

my husbands cousin and his wife are living with us...it was supposed to be only a couple weeks. but a week after they moved in with us my dad committed suicide. My husband and i were both close to my father and are having a hard time dealing with his death. and his cousins also ate every scrap of food we have in the house, they dont work, we never have any alone time, the make messes like crazy in the kitchen. they "did the dishes" but when i went to get a dish it was still covered with food. yuck. we both have a hard time saying no to people we care about. we love these people but it is time for them to leave. how do we make them leave?

Answer 1

Hi. First off, I'm so sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Second, you, preferably with your husband next to you and with mutual support, need to tell the cousins you need to sit down and have a talk. Maybe do this over dinner so there's an open atmosphere. Be kind and direct, but steadfast. Tell them you were happy to help them along, if it's the truth, but with everything else that has happened, it is now time for them to seek out other arrangements. Maybe go a step further to help, such as to ask around about apartments/ houses for rent (You didn't mention their exact circumstances, but if they are healthy able-bodied adults, there is absolutely no reason they shouldn't be working and saved up some money by now). With some people, if you give an inch, they take a mile and they may need that little push to motivate change.

Set a time limit by which you need them out. If not, you may have these folks as roommates for a lifetime. I have seen it happen!

Don't feel that you are being harsh if your first intention was to help them get back on their feet. That is what family is supposed to do, but family should also be able to be honest with each other. If bad news has to be delivered, at least they should know it's coming from a place of concern.

One other option. If you really can't bring yourself to do it, you at least have to have the conversation that, with all that's going on, it is expected that everyone cleans up after themselves and pitches in. If you do decided they should stay, they should be contributing in some meaningful way.

Good luck and all the best!

Answer 2

Unless you want to support these freeloaders forever you better get together with your husband and tell them they have 2 weeks to find other housing. You will always find people who try to use you in life.

   You better do it soon, sometimes when people stay a certain amt. of time they have 'established residence', then you have to go to court to get them out & that will cost you $.

  

Answer 3

Explain to them that it's not working out and that you both need time alone to grieve.

Give them a week to find alternative accomodation and stick to your this, don;t change your mind.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Answer 4

You and your husband need to have the hard discussion that everyone dreads. I would sit down and discuss the points you mentioned. It's hard to believe, but some family will abuse their relationship with you because they are family and know no one will do anything about it. They are obviously not respecting your home and will continue to do so until you directly address the problem with your husband.

You and your husband need to be on the same page for this to work. If the cousins think they can play "good-cop/bad-cop," they will try to play you off one another. So, be sure you both agree to the terms. It is also considerate to give someone a date to be out of the house. For example, a week's notice is very fair and will give them time to find another home.

Answer 5

Give them a date in which they have to be out.  Tell them you love them but your ready to have your home back to normal.

Answer 6

Give them a month to move out. I know that seems like a long time but you should give them a little time to get there money together and if they don't well bye bye to them and hope they find a box big enough. I am sorry to hear about your loss. If they are eating all your food lock your fridge and cupboards to where they need to make there own way to have something to eat. When the time comes to kick them out and they don't leave you will have to call the police and have they excorted out of your house.  

Answer 7

i would ask them when they plan on leaving, and let them know that you and your husband are under alot of stress and need some space. I know that it's really hard to tell people you care about to go home, but you just have to do it.