Kids running around town unsupervised?

Question

I just moved to a small town... acutally it is 7 small towns really close together and everyone-knows-everyone type of thing. I don't lock my doors here... nobody does. It is so beautiful here that in summer, tourists fill the summer houses, cottages, and beds and breakfasts. Still everyone seems to feel safe.

What I am struggling to not judge is that the kids around here just run free. I don't let my 8 year old do that, even though the other kids do. Last night one of the girls that is 10 was hanging around our house with some teenagers at quarter to 10 pm. They live in the furtherest town from me (20 km), but her mom does work at the store, which is 5 km from here. I guess her mom was at work 'watching her'. When my daughter has friends over, the parents just drop me off, without ever seeing me or meeting me. And the kids are left home alone too. I have left my 8 year old home for 5 mintues, but they leave them for so much longer. I don't understand. Is it a cultural thing?

Answer 1

Sounds like a cultural thing. If nobody has got abducted or murdered or raped, then I guess it must be safe.

The other kids might think your kid is a bit weird if you don't let them play outside too.

Answer 2

I DO think its cultural. But some people get too comfortable with the idea of a perfect town. Though I think 8 years old is just fine to be left alone for an hour or so, it may not be yours or other peoples comfort zones. Which is just fine too. I do take safety precautions EVERY where I go or even at home, I lock my doors, and you better believe if i take my child to somebodys house or drop them off i am going to know BOTH parents very well! (when she is older AND now) But also I remember growing up being left alone at 6 years old for HOURS while my mom was a single mom in the military and had to work. I grew up most of my life in JAPAN and i could go anywhere and i was perfectly safe. I would go offbase and ride the trains to my grandma's house in tokyo and not have any problems. BUT that was a long time ago, i dont trust anyone or anything nowadays and thats in a perfect town or not!

Answer 3

It's cultural, and the way things used to be *everywhere*. When I was a kid I never heard of kids who weren't allowed to wander in the summer. I would go out in the morning and come home in the evening. The rule *everyone* followed was that we had to be in by the time the street lights came on at night. We (all of the kids) would eat lunch at various kids' houses each day. It was the way things have been for decades. I don't think I ever knew of any kids who were controlled the way modern kids are.

The idea of keeping children under control at all times is a new idea that really hasn't filtered down to the smaller towns yet. It is a product of two-income parents who don't have the time to spend lots of time with the kids at home, keeping half an eye on all the neighborhood kids (as the other moms did too). Everyone had a part in raising the whole neighborhood. Without that, moms turned to organized sports, after-school care, etc for their children's socialization. To make those parents feel better, that lifestyle was marketed to everyone as the way to raise kids. So now there is an expectation that "good parenting" = keeping your kids under your thumb all the time.

We just moved to one of those small towns and can't wait until my kids get to experience the kind of freedom I had. Kids learn to make choices, learn self-sufficiency and responsibility during that free time with their peers.

The difference now is I can give my 11 y/o daughter a cell phone to carry, I can call her, or she call me, at any time. I can find her at a moment's notice. I do remember my mom spending hours trying to find me for unexpected things (normally she would tell me to be home at a certain time to go to the doctor or such, but other times things would just come up), going from one friends' house to another, only to find we had wandered to a nearby park.

Answer 4

what state so u live in

Answer 5

i couldnt agree more with your post. i am a united states mom of 2 kids one being a 10 year old girl. i was raised in a christian home with morals. if i went over to a friends house growing up, my parents had to know the other childs parents quit well first. if we were out playing in the street we had to be inside by the time the streetlights came on. we dont leave our daughter home alone unless we run errands in which case she has a cell phone for an emergency. i know i sound like an old f**t, but we are not doing right by this generation by letting them do whatever they want when they want unsupervised. everything has repercussions. i live in a state that half of teenagers will be pregnant by 19. that blows my mind. i dont think it is a cultural thing, i just think it is a sign of the times. you sound like a good parent and i am glad their are more like me out there keep up the good work.

Answer 6

I think it's strange that you worry about other people's kids who are alone, yet you leave your 8-year-old alone with your baby... What if daughter hangs on the high chair, and it flips? It's happened, so don't be too sure that it won't happen to you... I'd take the kids with me, if I were you; no doubt about it.

Answer 7

i think it has to do with the fact that every one knows every one and the parents feel safe letting there kids run around town unsupervised cuz they know that if anything were to happen they would hear it through the grapevine. i grew up in a small town but everyone didnt know everyone. i was around 7 or 8 when my mom let me stay home alone (well my older sister was there) and i was around the same age when she would let me go wherever i wanted whether it was going to a friends house across town or to the park few blocks away. the fact is she was comfortable enough to let me walk anywheres that i was able to walk too as long as i told her where i was going and called when i got there and was home before dark.

Answer 8

I'm sorry this answer has nothing to do with your question. But please; especially if you live in a tourist area, lock your door!!! It just takes one bad tourist to come to town and realize how relaxed everyone is and intrude on your life!