Kind of personal but i need opinions ?

Question

I'm a 20 year old female and as a child i was molested. I knew everything that i know about s*x now since i was 4. I'm getting married in 2 weeks to the most perfect man i ever met but there is one problem. Our s*x life is going down the drain. It was not always this way, it was great in the beginning but it seems like i lost interest in it. This is not the first time it has happened. it has happened in past relationships to. and its not that im not attracted to him, i just dont like to have s*x for very long periods of time. and my mother thinks its because of what happened when i was younger. so she set me up an appointment with a psychiatrist. What should i do? i really dont think that is the case. because it really doesnt bother me anymore what happened when i was young. But my mother insist and says it may be on my subconcious mind. has anyone else had this problem

Answer 1

Your were violated when you were young which ruined your attitude about s*x. Even tho you love this person, your view on s*x is still connected to being violated, your mother is right. I wouldn't know how to tell you to get over this. Other than remember the person you are going to marry is NOT the person who abuse you. They love you and you can find comfort with them. Separate the two. Separate the molester from someone who truly loves you and look at both of them. Instead of being taken with your abuser, you need to learn how to give to your husband. If you will get past this way of thinking , then your abuser has no power over you. Good luck.

Answer 2

whoa honey see the psych. This is a divorce waiting to be filed very soon. Fix this problem before you take on another

Answer 3

You should see someone just to get the thought of it possibly being from your past out of your mind.  Your mom may be right or she may be wrong, but the health of your marriage is most important and you definitely need to look at all options to why this is happening.  As a young woman s*x should be exciting and should be something you love.  Going a long time without it is just not healthy in a strong love relationship.  

Answer 4

keep the appointment your mother made and talk to the psychiatrist, he/she might be able to help.

Answer 5

I think you should just go to the doctor & talk about it! It may help- if you can't or don't want to have s*x for what ever reason it's gonna hurt your marriage so why get married?

Answer 6

you should listen to your mom and talk to someone. it is probably on your subconscious mind. you may be surprised how much therapy helps.

Answer 7

Listen to your mother, she is right. The experience of being molested when you are a child, comes out in different ways, when you become an adult.

You need to see a psychiatrist and let him/her help you understand how being molested as a child can effect your entire adult life and let the psychiatrist help you to over come these problems, so you can have a normal and enjoyable s*x life with your husband.

If at all possible, I would postpone your wedding for about 3+ months, so you can work on your problem with s*x, before you get married.

Answer 8

are you not in love- i think it's typical to be such a young age and want more for yourself.

Answer 9

Your s*x drive may be directly linked to your stress level. I know mine sure is. Plenty of women are in your boat. Make sure that you are communicating your needs in daily life. Resentment and anger will kill a s*x drive faster than a blink. Seeing a great psychologist/social worker/therapist can do nothing but add to your life, but realize that you are like most women out there and this is not so terribly unusual. Can you do something about it? Absolutely. Go see someone so that it does not cause havoc in your marriage, because it will. Take hubby-to-be to counseling with you. You guys will have the best start of anyone getting married!  Congratualations and enjoy.  

Answer 10

Listen to your Mom, go and see the psychiatrist, you owe this to yourself.  If you indeed have the perfect man then give him the perfect wife.