Kind of personal question?

Question

Does waiting until marriage for s*x make you a better person? I always planned to but at 16 I had kind of a forceful boyfriend and I let him take advantage of me many times because I knew it made him happy. I havent been able to forgive myself and developed anorexia because of it. Im 22 now and its still haunting me. What should I do? Please no dumb answers because this is really important to me.

Answer 1

I think the best thing to do is to speak to the guy about the way he made you feel

by telling him these feelings, he will feel guilty and to be honest, you will feel a lot better as he will know how you have suffered because of himself being over demanding

even if you are not with him, it  may make him change his behaviour to future relationships, and not only would you be helping yourself, you would be helping others

Answer 2

Hun I believe that purity is in the eye of the beholder.  I think it was stupid of you to let him take advantage of you but you were young so I understand.  But to become anorexic over the fact that you didn't wait is silly.  I am sure that you are a beautiful girl and no matter what you have done in the past you can always forgive and forget.  Thats something that wasn't completely in your control but anorexia is.  Having s*x isn't always special but your body is the only thing that you have and only you.  TAKE CARE OF IT.  I don't think your a bad person and I don't think you should either.  There are people out there that will but thats their problem, s***w them.

Answer 3

Waiting does not make you a better person.  I was able to wait for marriage but I truly believe it was the grace of God, because if I'd run into a controlling guy at 16, I know I would have done what you did.

Make a fresh start.  I have several friends who intended to wait, but didn't for various reasons.  They made a mistake.  Their husbands understood and married them and loved them anyway.

If you're a Christian, just realize that you've been forgiven of this sin and God certainly isn't holding it against you.

I'm so sorry you're having to endure this, but just realize that you can't change the past but you can make a choice today to move forward and continue to save yourself for your husband.  I promise, he'll understand.  One mistake in your teens shouldn't ruin your whole life.  Lots of people make foolish choices when they're young.

Answer 4

if he makes u feel like u have to then in my opion he's not a vey good b/f just tell him that u don't want to and if he don't like that answer then dump his sorry *** don't do anything u don't want to do i don't think haveing s*x when ur not married makesu a bad person if  really love the person ur with

Answer 5

waiting til marriage is a persons own choice..does it make you a better person to wait?? no...

im sorry that your ex did that to you but never do anything like that again just because it made him happy..do it because you want to...

maybe talk to someone (a counselor) so they can help you work through what youre feeling...

good luck

Answer 6

NO! A good person is definied by how they treat themselves and others. If you have a big heart, if you try to do your best, if you try not to hurt others , then you are a good person. Having or not having s*x has nothing to do with your being. s*x is one of the strong drives that humans have, correct that, that all living things have. It is what makes the species survive, and so it is hard written into all of us, to have s*x. Maybe you let your ex boyfriend seduce you, but the past is the past, it is dead, it doesn't matter anymore, you have no need to feel guilt or remorse or embarrased. You do need professionl help with your anorexia, it is a disease and you need help in dealing with it. If you had a viral infection you would go to a doctor, right? This is the same, get some help right away. As for the s*x, it should be enjoyable, if it is not, do not do it.

Good luck.

Answer 7

It doesn't make u a better person for waiting until marriage. It's all about how u attitude and characteristic is. U didn't want to have s*x, ur boyfriend did. It not ur fault and u even punished ur self even when it not ur fault. It was six years ago, u were young and didn't know how to handle ur forceful boyfriend.

Trust me these most guys won't care if u r a virgin and there is absolutely no reason to still be haunted by it.

Answer 8

i want to wait, but just because you didnt doesnt make you any less of a good person. i am not sure if you are concerned with the religious aspect of waiting, but God willl forgive you. forgive yourself too, there are lots of people that dont wait and when you meet the right guy, he will understand what happened, if he truly cares about you.

my advice it just practice secondary abstinance where you just abstain now, even though you technically lost it. dont worry about it, we all make mistakes, and you can move on because the guy was obviously a jerk and doesnt deserve to have this power over you

Answer 9

You should forget about him, I know it's easier said than done, but you have to or it will ruin your life forever.

Concentrate on the good things in your life and try to change your goals.

This little episode doesn't make you a bad person, you were young and everyone does things they regret, you have to move on!!

hope this helps xx

Answer 10

Waiting for s*x does not make you a better person, so why you let it get to you so badly? unless he was forcing himself to the point of you saying no then it shouldnt be an issue, s*x is just an everyday part of life, some believe it to be very personal while others do it for fun, but you really shouldnt beat yourself up about this, its not bad to have s*x before your 16, look at some who end up pregnant at 13, now thats something to be angry and upset about. have you tried to speak to someone and get this off your chest? hope so coz it will make the world of difference, and when people know why you have an eating disorder they will also tell you that it aint so bad having s*x younger than 16, are you sure there is not more to it? are you not eating because there is something else on your mind? and maybe you are using this as a cover up story? please honey, dont let it haunt you, s*x is s*x, its not dirty, its natural, hope this helps, and do hope you get better very soon, good luck x x

Answer 11

It does not matter what the answer to the first question is since you already have had s*x before marriage. It is not something you can take back. So you need to move forward. You have to forgive yourself. Every human being on earth makes mistakes that is why god made us human. Punishing yourself is not the answer. When you forgive yourself, the pain and remorse will go away and you will be able to start healing. God Bless!

Answer 12

real answer.. what happened, happened. The important thing is if you really learned your lesson. Now, cut the victim attitude, admitt to yourself that you let him, the fact the he was too pushy was not ok, but neither he raped you.. so he didn't took advantage of you, you offered this "advantage". Now, with this being said, it remains to make peace with yourself, get on with your life, and stop feeling pitty for yourself. You'll find a great guy who'll make you forget that this ever happened. Of course.. if you want that too..