Kindergarten parents: another what would you do question?

Question

There's a boy in my son's class who's much bigger than the others, as he missed the cut-off by about two days. He grabs the littler kids' chalkboards, chalk, etc. And lately there's a more iffy situation, and I'm curious how others would have dealt.

This kid steals money from his mom and tries to give it to the kids in class. I went through the whole "Well, maybe he feels he needs to buy friends," or whatever...it was $1 here, $1 there, and he was very open about telling people it was from his mom's wallet. My kid never accepted it.

So yesterday this kid tried to give my son a $20 bill. I heard about it later, from my very trusting, very responsible child, and I lost it. I called the school (his mom doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish), because I felt someone should tell the mother he's doing this. I got a call from the school this morning, as they had the other mom on the phone and wanted to clarify that my child had not taken the money.

Answer 1

have a meeting with the principal and teacher to discuss your concerns.  i do not put my child in public for this reason.  the rules are very lax on discipline and the student-teacher ratio is too high.  look at other options such as private or charter schools.

Answer 2

Yes you did the right thing in calling.  I hope the child gets the help needed through the school and at home.  Hope this all works out for you

Answer 3

well, that's a very young age to start demonstrating those kind of behaviours. And if not addressed, and dealt with and curbed can lead towards other things.

I think you did the right thing in calling the school. IF it were my child who was stealing, i would want to know. I am sure the childs mother would be appreciative that someone took the time to inform her of this issue. (At least, she should be.)

I think this situation also enables you to deal with certain issues with your own child. Integrity is important, and while it is not learned per se, teaching a child the difference between right and wrong, AND how to understand and deal with certain moral issues/conflicts IS your responsibility as a parent.  These kind of things, and far more difficult scenarios will present themselves in his life as he grows. Teaching him now, at this age, will give him the tools and the confidence to be able to do what is right when other kids around him do not.

I think you did the right thing. And i think this situation makes you a decent parent. As, not only did you deal with this issue with your son, but you also let the other childs mother know (via the school) so that she might be able to address this issue with her own child. (i am sure she cares and is probably NOT happy about her sons actions). Children make mistakes, and sometimes do things that they do not know is entirely wrong. How are they to learn if no one teaches them?

I say, Good Job. I think you very much did the right thing.

And, maybe you should reward your son for being so honest with you. Even at his young age, it's clear he has a conscience and knows the difference right and wrong. He probably felt uncomfortable with this other boys actions. Because he knew the boy was doing something wrong.

That's awesome; Your son has integrity, even at a young age.

You should be proud of him. It's a shame though that more parents in the class didn't step up and do what you did. Maybe their kids didn't tell them? Or they just didn't think it was a big enough deal? Yet, i've a feeling if it were their child stealing, they would want to know, so they could deal with that issue. I think you did the right thing. I probably would've done the same.

♥

*edit* DrPhilamina ...  RE: your comment: "spells and reads at a 5th grade level"?? I think you might be exagerating on that one a little!"

I disagree. It's entirely possible for her child to be that intellegent. Both my brother AND myself were intellegent children. AND we both were on reading levels higher than 96% of the other kids in our classes. I forget what it was (for both of us in kindergarten, but it was advanced) I do know however that when i was in 3rd grade, i was on a 7th grade reading level at the start of the year AND on a 9th grade reading level by the end of the year.  Point is, i believe her. I don't think she's exagerrating at all.

Answer 4

I would  find a way to notify the mother of her child's behavior. Also, let the school's principal, or counselor about the child's behavior as well. Good thing your child didn't take money that wasn't your son as well as that child's.

Answer 5

I would have called also.  The mother needed to know that her child was taking money.  

In addition I might put in a request that my child be in a separate class from that child next year.

Answer 6

Ive had that happen to my son in school and on the bus it's very hard and painful to deal with but what finally worked for us after the teacher and bus driver did next to nothing was that we went to the principle and bored of education on the bus the viewed  taped and kicked the kid off and in class the kid was monitored more often where my son had no other problems with him i wish you and yours the best  and i hope that helps.

Answer 7

If my child was stealing my money I would want to know. You did the right thing. If the mom doesn't get control on her kid now, imagine how he will be in middle school! If he is stealing $20 from mom in kindergarten, by middle school he would have grand theft auto on his record!

Answer 8

"spells and reads at a 5th grade level"??  I think you might be exagerating on that one a little!  I mean 1 of my kids is smart too and was even referred for gifted program testing, but 5th grade level?!

Anyways, I would have called the school too.  I would' ve called even regarding the repeated instances with $1.  It is sad though, b/c like you said, he probably does it to make friends, probably feels like he doesn't fit in.  I would encourage your son to befriend him and include him when he's playing.

Answer 9

I think you are way to focused on this kid.  So what if he takes his mom's money?  All you have to worry about is that your kid doesn't bring it home.  In Kindergarten, they aren't suppose to bring money to school anyway.  Just tell the teacher that he's bringing money and let her deal with his parent.  I think you are at a parenting phase where-in you are  determined to insulate your kid from failure, both social and academic.  Obviously this kid is a bit of a bully and it's hard to imagine the little guy you spent all that time preparing for school, as a victim.  Well it's important that your little Einstein learn to handle these social situations on his own.  He's certainly capable of telling the bully boy "no" and taking his chalk board back or whatever, you decide.  Don't get so emotional about this.  Your son is going to go thru all sorts of social quandaries, help to guide him in the right direction, not bulldoze your way through the school house.  It sounds like you are a very proactive and concerned about your sons education.  Give it time, as he gets older he'll have friends that more on lis level and school work will allow for more recognition of his efforts.

Answer 10

In this little boys defense. My son took alot of money from me ONCE I caught him after when I noticed his fat wallet.  He took the money from me to get me a gift. He said that 'Everyone gets stuff but you never get anything, I want to get you a necklace' He also told me that he didn't understand that it was stealing. I believe him. He got punished accordiingly.  He thought it was like taking an apple out of the bowl.  He now understands what money is and he has to earn it like I do.  It could be confusion on the kids part.  -- I think you did the right thing by calling.  I think kids get confused about what is for everyone and what is mine.----I'm glad you have a child that knows right from wrong!