Kindergarten readiness? What can I do? Anyone else had similar situation?

Question

My son will be 5 in mid-Aug. I have decided to give him another year of pre-school, pre-school teacher agreed. We are having an outside assessment soon. He is extremely shy, has some trouble with gross motor, lots w/ fine motor. Recognition of letters and #s aren't very good. His skills compared to others the exact same age are about the same, (except for motor skills). I notice that my 8 month old daughter is a lot more advanced than he was at her age. I was nearly gifted in school. I don't believe he is LD, because I have researched it thoroughly. I think he is stubborn and uninterested. Other than just working with him and trying to integrate the trouble spots with his interests. Is it just his shyness? What else can I do. This is very difficult, because everything comes so easily for me.

Answer 1

You should try learning songs, some kids feel uninterested because they dont find learning fun. look online for learning songs and pre-k drawing books and activities. http://www.songsforteaching.com/preschoo... has a few pretty good ones.

Answer 2

My opinion.........I think it would be best for him to start Kindergarten so he can be exposed to the actual foundation of reading/math readiness.  If he demonstrates not being ready at the end of the school year  than it would be better off to keep him another year in Kindergarten where he can then develop and master the concepts and be more prepared for 1st grade.  You never know....... he can blossom and do just fine his first year in kindergarten.....but he's your son and you know what's best for him....Also, I suggest you getting information from teachers or educational support staff to aid you in your decision..  But another year in pre-k is questionable on my behalf....  Good Luck to you and your son!!

Answer 3

Good decision! I wish I had held both of my boys back.

In coaching preschool teachers, I have seen the results of children being held back, and it's usually very beneficial. He will probably be a different child next year. Sometimes the light bulb comes on later for some children.

But if he continues this way into next school year, take him to a pediatrician and have him evaluated just to be sure.

Answer 4

Thanks to fluflu...I checked out that article too...good for me to read and I strongly suggest that you review it as well...well worth the few minutes.  :-)

I agree with the thought that just maybe he isn't being exposed to experiences that go along with his learning style.  Observe your child and find out what he likes best and in what ways does he pick up things.    

Since he is going to be 5 already, no, I don't reccommend another year of preschool...I find that in many preschools (yours might not be included) the teachers have minimum qualifications.  They also do not have the support systems in place as a public school does.  Enroll him in Kindergarten...work with the teacher.  Possibly incorporate  some learning sessions, at home,  in which he has to participate but make them fun and interesting and work in a way that suits him best.  Good for you for noticing that you learn differently than he does!  That is the first step.  So many are unwilling to change because ..."I learned it okay this way!"  Good luck!

Answer 5

I agree with BJTCBI.

Look at what kind of toys he has at home. What toys does he have that are providing educational and learning skills. Maybe provide him more of these types of toys at home will help. Some suggestions; felt story boards, alphabet and shape magnets on your fridge (you could work with him while your preparing meals). Best wishes in your decision.

Answer 6

I think that you are doing the right thing.  Your son is developing at a different rate.  This is not uncommon.  At this age, students are all over the continuum with fine motor skills and intellectual abilities.  I have been teaching for 16 years, and I have noticed this pattern year after year.  He will probably catch up with the other students later on.  By fourth grade, most students are very similar in their abilities.

Answer 7

Send him to school

Helps her learn a routine

Helps him w/ being separated from you

socialization

cooperation w/ others

Waiting his turn i.e standing in line/ waiting for the teacher

sharing toys supplies

Expressing needs to students and teacher

Exposing him to different situations and people

Answer 8

I teach kindergarten and sometimes people say "Kindergarten is the new first grade".  I can see how you may think that they are teaching things that are too advanced for kindergarten students, but the truth is that students are actually most capable of learning things like letters and numbers at the age of 4 or 5.  This does NOT mean that your child has a learning disability.  If you and the teacher agree that he needs to stay in preschool again that is probably best (do not forget girls mature faster than boys).  

Some children simply are lazy.  You need to structure your home life in a similar way that they do at school.  He will need to start earning things so that he will understand that things take hard work.  

One thing to consider is that your child may be gifted like yourself and is simply bored.  Have they administered any nonverbal ability tests (IQ)?  If he does qualify as gifted this will help his teacher to learn how to differentiate for him.  The test that we give at my school is the Naglieri Nonverbal Ability Test (NNAT).

Good luck!

Answer 9

READ THIS ARTICLE/WRITE ME BACK!

First, shyness is not a developmental delay.  I hate the fact that you were told that your son is not ready for kindergarten due to small/large motor skills????? You have to be kidding me!!  This is a really questionable assessment at its very best. This really ticks me off!!  Please read this article from NAEYC regarding unacceptable trends in Kindergarten placement. Who is deciding that he is "behind" and what methods are used for evaluation?  Is there a history of observable delays that prevent him from being autonomous or functioning within the community (class)? If so, this is the impetuous?  How about teaching!!  OK, I will share a quick anecdote, to hopefully, calm the waters here.  I taught pre k in CA.  I introduced self help snack.  The kids were encouraged to serve themselves, pour their own milk, etc.  One student, (we will call him Joe) would pour his milk until it was overfull and watch it pour all over himself.  After, he would just stare at me as he got soaked.  Should Joe be held back due to the fact that all of the other 5 year old children (I had EVER seen before and to now) would have jumped up immediately? Joe displayed this all day long in other areas of empowerment, almost in a dream was Joe day long. Joe simply was not ever given the opportunity  to speak for himself,try things, or take care of himself at home.  He also had been cleaned up after constantly by his doting mother.  The point is that through practice, peer modeling (scaffolding), routine and exposure, Joe better owned these skills.  I am not proposing that is is simply exposure and practice with your child, I am however proposing that his shyness towards these large/fine motor challenges are perhaps due to the way they are presented to him not meeting his learning style.  Rather than put so much emphasis on the tangible comparisons between him and others, perhaps introduce small/large motor activities in areas that he is less shy in.  This is too much academic pressure to me.  If he likes art a lot, give him some magazines to cut pictures out of. (no goal in his way please)  Observe how he manipulates the scissors.  Introduce this this and other small motor tasks without a pre-set goal in mind.  I could go on and on about stuff to introduce him to.  I wore leg braces like Forest Gump until I was 8.  Even at 5, if I was held back, I would have felt more out of place than I already did. If this teacher has convinced you to hold back your child due to small/large motor challenges, I most vehemently disagree.  You should also take a breather mom.  I propose that your sons shyness is a unique gift, that in certain situations helps him be a giant among insects.  If this is a representation of what he is.......embrace it!! Perhaps, here in-lies your answer.  Write me back if you care to discuss this further.  I am not a expert in developmental delays , but I see the cure being far more damaging than the proposed "problem."  

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu9jDuAhIIQ...

I encourage you to read the 6 criterium by NAEYC especially #2 in your situation.  These are well researched and "VALID"  not subjective conjecture.

* I read all of the posts and see this is a great topic for debate.  I love it.  I would like to say that "Lostallm"...writes some assertions that are completely unfounded!  "Girls are happy to sit quiet while boys are active learners"??  This is exactly what the problem is!  People that have no developmental basis for assertions, that influence parents on "personal" convictions, which lead to glorification for them as a "expert," and leave the child a helpless spectator. This assertion has no plausible foundation to it.  Do your own research in this area with the "pillars" in this area.......(Head Start, Montessori, High-Scope, Piaget, Vygotsky, NAEYC. etc.)  This is a serious decision that requires you to research what is available beyond personal opinions. Please look into this further beyond what this teacher pontificates.

Answer 10

Please, please don't pressure your child.  He is an individual, and when you had him you became responsible for supporting him emotionally, no matter what his learning style.

Children are not ittle carbon copies of their parents. Please do not label him "stubborn" or "uninterested."  Focus on his strengths, not his "weaknesses."  If you don't change your view of him, you are setting him up for a lifetime of failure.

Answer 11

As a Kindergarten teacher, I cannot even begin to guess whether you are making the right decision for your child without meeting him.  However, if you and his Pre-K teacher are in agreement- well, there you go.  A couple of things- do not ever compare your daughter to your son, and especially not to your educational experiences.  Night and day.  Each child is different and will mature at his own pace.  Now I am really confused as to why the principal would tell you not to enroll.  Because of motor skill problems???  That's ridiculous.  Is he receiving therapy at his current pre-k for a diagnosed motor skill problem?  If he entered the school system, he would be entitled to such.  Are you working on this at home?  Letter and number recognition is also no reason to hold your son back.  I had a student this year who came to school having never held a pair of scissors, knowing absolutely no letters or numbers and very few colors, who is now at grade level.  If you feel your child is uninterested, figure out what does interest him and go from there.  Does he love cars?  Paint letters on his toy cars and ask him to give you the "D" car.  Make it interesting for him by using his personality and characteristics.  My daughter couldn't retain any letters until I made her teach them to her dog.  Now she sits next to the dog asking him what letter she is holding, as though she is the teacher.  It is extremely rare (at least in my district) to even consider a LD at such a young age, so get that thought out of your mind and teach your son some independence (button your own shirt to help with motor skills).  Don't worry so much- when he is ready he will open up and amaze you.  Work on his confidence to show him that he is capable- maybe he feels the negative energy and doesn't want to disappoint?  I don't know- it is hard to tell without seeing the situation personally.

Answer 12

I think you are right on track with giving him another year!  I teach pre-school and I have 2 boys ages 7 and 6.  The oldest boy missed the cut off to start Kindergarten.  My youngest could have gone to kindergarten this year but we also held him back in preschool.  These are the best decisions we have made.  Boys typically have a harder time in school.  They learn very differently from girls.  Most boys are hands on learners.  They want to experience things.  Girls are ok to sit and listen and they do well in school.   Also, if you look at most schools... they are not really structured to encourage boys.  There are female teachers and the classroom layout is not meant to stimulate boys.   Boys need to touch things and move around.  SO all that to say, sometimes it just takes time.  My youngest is more ready for kindergarten this coming year than he was last year.  He just needed that extra time to gain some confidence and play some more.    Find what encourages your son and use that.  Don't make the mistake I did and try to conform them to something you want them to be.   Also, school is much different now than it was in the past.  What was typically taught in 1st grade is now taught in Kindergarten.  What was typically taught in kindergarten is now taught in Pre-school.  

I hope that helps!

Answer 13

My youngest was really behind at this age, too - he had to repeat kindergarten!

Now he is in his second semester of college - majoring in Physics!

Be patient, be encouraging, and keep a lookout for trouble spots!

Good luck.