Knee-jerk relatives: how do you handle it?

Question

Do you have relatives that are so knee-jerk reactionary that any little word can set them off? I got a few. Messing with them is fun, but how does one get through to a person like this?

Answer 1

Yes..one of my aunts in particular. She's the type that is "allowed" to put everyone else in the family down. She has said some really horrible and nasty things about everyone.

On the flip side, if you correct her (she has the tendency to exaggerate) or stand up for yourself or another family member...she bursts into tears and says "Oh, you're abusing me!" And oh yeah, she's even more reactionary when she doesn't have any alcohol. But imply that she's an alcoholic or even give her a sideways glance when you see her drinking...all h**l breaks loose.

In my case, I avoid her like the plague. I don't have the patience to deal with her for any good length of time. And I value what little sanity I have left.

Answer 2

Act like you actually like them.

Answer 3

You can't and it is not worth trying. Avoid talking about subjects that upset them usually politics and religion!!!!!!

Answer 4

It depends, some of them react best to those who are serious but polite. Others you just can't get through to them and , have to keep them out of your life as much as possible.

Answer 5

Most of the female ones.

How do you get through?  You can't, really.  It takes a group effort.  EVERYONE has to ignore them until they fix their attitude.  But, that's not very likely.

Answer 6

You can't - nod, smile, b*tch about them when they've gone home but if you try to change them, they will probably have a knee-jerk reaction to that as well, and blow it up into a big argument :-)

Answer 7

Smile and nod.

Answer 8

You've given me a perfect description of my mother. I can't help loving her, because she has given me life, values and direction, and she still is one person I respect more than most. However, she has no idea what actual discussion is. So, to save myself some time and effort, I stopped arguing with her. I smile, make appropriate noises, but refuse to participate in her BS.

Answer 9

I don't let anyone in my family except my father even know my telephone number.  If anyone wants to speak with me, they can contact my attorney who then contacts the gentlemen with whom I live and then they weed out the BS, like, "We're in SEATTLE!!! We'd LOVE to drop by and see you!"  Over my dead body.  I allow my daughter to e-mail me photographs of my grandchildren.  That's IT.  It's not like I don't adore everyone in my family, because I most certainly DO.  But, you know me well and I am strange in a good way but all the people in my amazing family are MUCH MUCH stranger than I am in their own good ways, of course.  They drive me nuts and rattle me like fire crackers exploding all the time.  They are MOST healthy but are all WAY too smart, WAY too crazy, WAY too fast for me and teasing like wily leprechauns or rude orangutans and WAY too emotionally flippant for me.  They squash me and boss me around. I cannot seem to overcome my unlimited patience for my loved ones enough to be able to like carve out some space or "safe zone" among them or something.  They munch mercilessly on my mind and giggle while they're doing it. I don't like that wired environment they like.  Oh, but they won't do anything REALLY exciting like go skydiving with ME.  They make fun of me for being outdoors all the time.  They call me "Earth Muffin Momma" and stuff.  They mock my moss collection.  So, I keep them at arm's length and although they are all blistering mad about it . . .OH WELL.

Answer 10

Oh god yes, my sister is so black and white minded. I NEVER talk to her about politics, and never mention a persons colour in passing as she assumes 'argh that's racist!!!' Never get on the subject of my motorbike, tattos, piercing, business, relationshuip anything personal about me because she will find critism.