LADIES how do you talk to your husband about s*x?

Question

When would be a good time to bring the subject up? Like in my situation, i dont feel my husband puts in enough effort, not nearly as much as i put into it. I want him to know that I need him to tell me, show me that i am still attractive to him. I try so hard to let him know that i am still hott for him, and i give him massages and do foreplay on him, but i feel like i dont get any of that in return. I think he expects me to come to him rub him down and then just magically be in the mood and ready to go!! I am so frustrated! He doesnt return ANY of the favors! I dont want to offend him so how do i tell him?? Im afraid to say anything during or before s*x because it might ruin it?? help me please!

Answer 1

Sounds like he's just not that into you! And guess what, he may or may not tell you, even if you asked him. If he's not responding to you as you would like, then chances are there's something else going on in his head. Maybe he's depressed or just plain bored with you or his own life?

Answer 2

Good communication is key in marriage, I am sure if you are not discussing s*x you probably have more issues going on. Maybe you guys should seek counseling about your communication. Do you have a church or free service thru your job?

Once you work on the communication then it will allow you to dicsuss things like s*x. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Definitely don't tell him DURING the act unless your telling him that something feels good. Don't discuss your issues while your doing it. A good time may be right after. Be open and let him know that you don't feel like you're getting as much attention as would like. Be nice and choose your words carefully. Remember we don't want to bust their ego's. If you don't think he's putting enough effort then be direct and tell him what you want. Guys aren't good with signs so if you think that by giving him a massage he'll think to give you one too - um, no. They need to be told directly.  

Answer 4

Sweetie(smiling) "i love u" talk talk..

Answer 5

I bring it up openly and with tact. Hopefully you're comfortable enough with your husband and can talk to him about things...

Answer 6

well i would suggest stop having s*x with him for a while, stop rubbing him down, stopin everything sexual- that will lead to his pleasure.

when he wants it, he will try to get you in the mood and do all that stuff to you.

sit back, and enjoy

Answer 7

Enough effort? Is that foreplay or outside of the bedroom effort. I think that both are required to make a great s*x life.

Sounds like he has gotten lazy or possibly always was lazy in the bedroom but only as the years have gone, did you notice that you were...the giver? So a couple things come to mind. First to give him something more interesting visually to see and play with. Lingerie, Brazilian wax and toys come to mind. Another idea is to build a fantasy scenario like cabana boy or masseuse or something that caters to you.

Stop being afraid and be honest. Things change over time and during a relationship. Possibly say I am just not climax same as I used to, can I get a little more pre-fun because i will make me happy, plus you are amazing at it..blah blah blah. Some truth with a great compliment.

Also sounds like some date nights and verbal foreplay outside of the bedroom are necessary.  

Answer 8

It sounds like it already ruined. How vocal are you during s*x? Let him know when he's doing something you like. Don't be afraid to direct him when you are having s*x. Personally, I love it when my wife lets me know what she wants. Now, you might run into a fragile ego with him too so do it tactfully. Also, hand him the oil and tell him it's time for him to massage you.  

Answer 9

the best suggestion i can give you is to read the book

to h**l with h**l  -  in recently read it because someone recommended it to me when i was dealing with a marital problem.  it's full of good information that deals with all aspects of life, marriage, divorce, s*x, communication, etc.  it's a must read for anybody who needs some realistic and valuable advice.  on line at amazon.com and barnes and noble dot com.  

Answer 10

My husband read this question and wants to answer it. He says that its imperative that you talk to him about it, and even more so that you are just as blunt about it as you were in your question. If you're not straightforward, he's not going to think its a serious issue, and will probably try to argue his way out of it.

Maybe when you're both relaxed, maybe reading in bed or not too distracted, tell him that you need to talk to him about something important. Tell him very bluntly that he's not paying attention to your needs as well, and as your husband, it's his responsibility to take care of it. Naturally, let him know how much you still love him and appreciate the fact that you're married.

Answer 11

Tell him is s*x is wack and that he needs to step his game up. That will get his attention!

Answer 12

while I'm not a lady, my wife and I discuss it regularly. We talk about what we both want, like best and think.

Communication is the key to a great marriage and a fulfilling s*x life

Answer 13

i dont know ow you have got to the marriage stage and not said alll this. i was telling my husband my deepest fantasies afet about 2 months lol!

i just tell him what ever i want i lke it when you do this or this. when we first got together i trained him up showed him how i played and showed him all the places i like to be licked nd touched. now he  makes me o****m everytime starting off with 69 and then we go on to s*x and he, i or a vibe play with my C**t through s*x and i can o****m again. just say what you want.

i am very sexually confident and dont get shy about talking to s*x with anyone but if yiou are shy surely you can tell your husband what you want. my husband tells me wha he wants to and says i am constantly improving my techniques and he thought it couldnt get any better lol! try new positions and new things all the time its fun.