LDS temple marriage?

Question

So my boyfriend and I talk about getting married in the LDS temple but I have a problem with my mother attending. I'm not comfortable with her going, nor do I feel she deserves the privilege. The way she treats me makes me feel as if I'm in the way and I shouldn't exist. I just don't want her in my life anymore.

I'd much rather have my boyfriend's mother escort me through the temple. Does that make me a horrible person?

Answer 1

Have you talked to your mother about this? That sounds like the way I felt about my mother. When we finally DID talk about it, and we both realized where the other one stood and what we were feeling, I realized that she did this because she thought she was doing the right thing. She really does love me, she just doesn't realize that this is not the right approach to use to get me to do what she wants, or what she feels is the right thing.

Try talking to her. Or I'm afraid one of these days, if you do things the way you say you want now, you are going to regret that you didn't let your mom do the honors.

(ps. the only reason my mom didn't take me thru the temple is cause she's not LDS)

Answer 2

Until you can mend ways and forgive this person, I think you should have your mother-in-law-to-be escort you, god forbid you and your mother get into a fight right there in the temple or you let your mom have her way because you are in the temple.

Its up to you, its your wedding. You are to honor your parents, but respect needs to go both ways.

Answer 3

When you go through the temple, there is a point in which YOU must put aside and eliminate ill feelings.  Until you are willing to completely forgive, you should not go to the temple.  This is the most important phase of your life, do it right.  If you don't when that moment comes, you will feel awful, when you should be spiritually fulfilled.

Answer 4

no.. plus it is your wedding not your mothers

Answer 5

no its your wedding and your day to shine why have your mother ruin it for you just make sure she doesn't forcefully attend and crash the wedding

ps sorry about your mom

Answer 6

Plan and execute your wedding just the way you want it to be, after all you are planning a marriage for all eternity.  Have you and your boyfriend talked with your bishop about your situation?  That might be a good step to take before you announce your plans.  

Answer 7

You need to do what is right for you.  You arent suppose to be having a bunch of negative feelings during this time.

I would talk this over with your Bishop.  

You are NOT the only one that has had these issues.  (trust me)

machine

your answer shows you are completely ignorant as to what she is talking about

Answer 8

Nope.  It's your day and your marriage....not your Mom's.  

I think it's probably worth a tactful letter to her to explain your reasons because she'll still be your Mom after the fact.  

Answer 9

Yeah, because YELLING at her through an internet forum is really going to make her change her mind Ginger. Get over yourself.

Sorry mosquito but it's your call. Just know that when you go through the temple for the first time it helps to have someone you're comfortable with because everything is going to be new so it's nice to have someone to lean on and answer your questions. Of course the temple workers will be happy to help but sometimes it's more comfortable to ask someone you know. If your mother doesn't fit the bill of someone who can fill that role then...

and cadisney is right. The temple is not the place for negative feelings.

Good luck

Answer 10

May I please be blunt but loving?  If you still harbor these kinds of feelings against your mother, may I suggest that you may not be mature enough yet for marriage?  Seriously, marriage is really cool but also really trying at times.  You have to be pretty patient, understanding and forgiving for it to work, going past halfway in most dealings. This is your mother that you're talking about: an imperfect human who didn't get an owner's manual when you were born.  Maybe wait a little while and then consider  the actual temple marriage.

Answer 11

I am honestly shocked that your mother would hold a temple recommend if that's how she is.

Talk to your bishop about it, and pray about it. That's all I can say. I've never been through the temple, I have word of wisdom problems, albeit it is my goal to go within the next year. I think it's up to you who you choose to escort you through the temple your first time. I'm not sure my mother will be the one I go through with. I may not have received my endowment, but I do know that it is a very personal thing, and if i were you, I would want it to be as perfect as possible.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 12

Yes. You are a terrible person. A stupid dogma and an archaic ritual have nothing whatever to do with your relationship with your mother. If you think it does, you are still in the shallow end of the pool.

Answer 13

UM Yes, Youre mother joined for you??

You stated...

"She actually started learning because someone told her she couldn't go to my wedding"

Thats a TERRIBLE reason to join the MORMON CHURCH!! I had to TRY To explain to my christian mother and grandmother why they could not be inside..I couldn't even bother have them drive up there.

Thats one of the most horrible things to do to the parents that loved and raised you.... Let alone hold a wedding and daughter's strange beliefs over her head...

Shame.