LGBTers what do you do when...?

Question

your mom tells you that you are the only thing keeping their marriage together?

My mom just told me this after a crazy and wild day. My dad and I got into a fight and I explained to her that it was because of him and his side of the family that I want to go to the east coast for college. Then my dad proceeded to make fun of me for stupid reasons. But what are you supposed to do when you are told something like this.

Today was also my first day of school and also pretty emotional.

Answer 1

Not much that you can actually "do"...  Your mother probably shouldn't have told you her problems and laid a guilt trip on you like this.  Was she expecting you to apologize or to sympathize?  Maybe you can tell her if she's that unhappy in her marriage then maybe they should go to marriage counseling.  

Answer 2

Just hang in there, things will get better. Do the best you can.

Answer 3

im sorry =(

today should have been a hood day * hugs u ferociously*

dont pay ur father any mind

hes being stupid =(

Ur awesome! =D

Answer 4

My mom doesnt say it but I know its the same thing with her

Answer 5

Good lord telling a kid that is a mild form of child abuse!

Answer 6

Well, lol, that's just awful. =( I'm sorry! I'm not laughing at you I promise. I'm just laughing because it's so wrong! I can't believe your mom said that. And I thought I had a bad day! Gaaa!

Idk what to say. But based on your posts I will say you seem like an intelligent, compassionate and friendly person and you don't deserve that kind of c**p. You also sound like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders and I imagine you'll make it through this mess a little wiser and probably also forgiving.

Try to pretend you're in the future looking back on it. How would you imagine you had responded? With anger and contempt or with humour and jest? Make fun of your own situation & find funny things about it. I know that can be much easier said than done..but?

*hugs*

Answer 7

Well, now you know the reality, as painful and bitter as that may be.

Seemingly your mom has just as much trouble with your dad as you do, and he has never been willing to listen or change.

So realize, when they divorce, it is not your fault.  They just don't meld well together...and likely never did.

Just support your mom, love her, try to get along as well as you can with your dad...

And know that, if you someday (by birth or adoption or holy union with someone who has them) have kids...

It will be important for you to love and respect them, so that the unhealthy pattern of shaming, blaming and put-downs will be broken.

You can't fix their relationship -- it is badly broken.

But you can work on yourself to build good communication skills, good boundaries, good compassion and care, good listening, responsible habits, patience, and tender, faithful love.

Maybe he was treated badly when he was a young boy, and perhaps this isn't entirely his fault because he just does not get it, doesn't grasp what he is doing and the damage he is causing -- but I believe you will be twice the man that your father is.  In fact, I suspect you already are.

Keep on loving, brother.